


Will You Love Me Tomorrow

by 230W49thSt



Series: I wanted you more than I wanted superpowers [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Absence (in lack of a better description), Author Absolutely Adores Rachel McClain, Coming Out, Derealization, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith Tries To Be Patient, Lance Is Scared To Come Out To His Family, M/M, Meet the Family, Might add more tags later, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rose-Colored Glasses vs. Lance's Family Can't Know Yet, Secret Relationship, Superpowers, Temporary Character Death, Temporary Serious Injuries, Tension (several ones), The Ability To Reverse Time, Very Low-Key Christmas Since We're in Cuba
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-08-17 14:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 75,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16517927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/230W49thSt/pseuds/230W49thSt
Summary: Sequel to"If I Had My Time Again".I advise reading that one before you start reading this one because it establishes the relationship and the superpower!Lance and Keith spend Christmas and New Year with Lance's family in Cuba. The catch: His family doesn't know yet that the former childhood friends are a couple and very much in love with each other. Lance has scheduled his coming out for Christmas Eve. A few days pretending they aren't in love? Keith constantly doubting himself and their relationship? Lance feeling pressured and scared? Ha, what could go wrong.





	1. I'm In Love With A Wonderful Guy

**Author's Note:**

> Beware this is a SEQUEL. I mean I guess you can try reading it without having read the first part but they belong together so no promises you'll get the full, ummm, experience, lol, if you read it as a stand-alone.
> 
> I will add content notes before every chapter if necessary. As usual if you want me to tag more things, just comment or tell me on Tumblr (worstmissionever) or Twitter (@worstmission). And did I use musical songs as chapter titles again? You bet I did.

###  **I'm In Love With A Wonderful Guy**

 

**21st December.**

“Who’s gonna pick us up from the airport?” Keith asked. His eyes were glued to the little gray plane on the screen in front of him that moved in the slowest tempo ever across the map of the USA towards Varadero, Cuba.

32,000 feet high, flight time less than 2 hours.

“I’m not sure, probably Rachel or Marco. Why?”

Keith shrugged indifferently.

“Just asking.”

Lance eyed him with a questioning look.

“Keith,” he said and stopped scrolling through the plane’s entertainment system in the screen in front of him. “we’re traveling for over 15 hours now and I told you like a billion times you don’t have to be nervous. It’s just my family. You know them and they like you. Well, except Nadia. But only because she wasn’t born yet when we moved to Cuba. And come on,” Lance added with a bump at Keith’s shoulder, “you can impress a four-year-old with your fluffy hair within the first minute.”

Keith chuckled to hide his remaining tension. With a wink Lance turned back to the screen, put on his headphones and started an episode of Brooklyn99. Keith leaned back in his seat and looked outside the window next to him, at least he tried to. It was dark outside and the glass reflected mostly his face in the dimmed light of the plane.

They were on their way to celebrate Christmas and New Year with Lance’s family in Cuba and Keith should have been the one to soothe Lance, not the other way around. If Keith was nervous to meet his best childhood's friend’s family after six years of radio silence, then Lance was the bodily manifestation of sheer dread – because Lance wasn’t only bringing his former childhood friend. He also brought his current boyfriend. A boyfriend his parents didn’t know about yet. They didn’t even know their son was bisexual; a fact Lance himself had only learned about three months ago when he and Keith had met again after those long six years and things had – happened. (Actually, a lot of things had happened but that was a story already been told.)

Anyway. Keith worried his lip about quite a few things during this long flight. He knew Lance well enough to see him struggling with the situation he had brought upon himself after he had declared “No, Keith, we will do this. My mom has already invited you for Christmas and I will tell them and THEY WILL HAVE TO ACCEPT that I love you.” Although Lance’s confidence in this moment had indeed given him the feeling they were invincible, he knew that this had been a temporary feeling. Keith had suggested to start things off slow and postpone his coming-out but Lance was Lance and being Lance meant to book international flights on a smartphone in bed at 2 am.

Keith turned his head around to look at his boyfriend.

Boyfriend. For a moment his heart acted like it was a competitor in a rope skipping competition and almost stumbled over itself. They didn’t even have their three-month-anniversary yet but Keith was absolutely convinced that his eternal future was sitting right next to him, quietly laughing about the jokes of the sitcom he was watching. Lance had been his first love when they had been thirteen years old and he had never, not in his wildest dreams, expected Lance to reciprocate his feelings. Least of all six years later. Heck, he was surprised himself how fast his feelings for Lance had come rushing back the day they had met again.

Lance chuckled again about a funny scene and Keith had to smile. That boy was his. But that boy was also very scared. Keith thoughts got back to the task ahead of them. Telling Lance’s parents about them. And most of the rest of the family, too. The only one who knew about them was Lance’s 22-year-old sister Veronica – happily engaged to a young woman they were about to meet soon. It sure was going to be a Christmas to remember, no matter how the McClains would react to all the, um, queerness in their home.

“What?” Lance asked when he noticed Keith looking at him and took off his headphones.

“Nothing, nothing on I want to watch.”

Lance tilted his head.

“I’m awake for almost 20 hours now, I’m not exactly a highlight to look at either.”

With a smirk Keith moved his head closer to him.

“That means something coming from you,” he whispered and softly bumped their noses together. Lance hummed for an answer, closed the remaining distance between them and kissed him.

“Can we just fly back and,, do this for the rest of the year?” he said without moving his lips far away from Keith’s.

Ah, there it was, Keith thought. The backing-off.

“We don’t have to stop this just because we’re at your parent’s.” He took Lance’s cold hand and tried to warm it. “Don’t be scared, Lancey. We can do this. The universe is on our side, you know that.”

“I’m not sure my parents got that memo.”

“Then we write a new one.”

Keith looked deep into Lance’s eyes.

“Keith.”

“Hm?”

“I wanna make out with you so badly right now.”

Keith blushed and leaned an inch back. Their blissful phase of seeing everything through rose-colored glasses and not being able to let the fingers off the other was still going strong but phew, Keith didn’t know if he would ever get used to Lance looking at him like this, saying things like this, meaning things like this.

Doing things like this.

Lance grinned at Keith’s reaction.

“You, me?” He tilted his head towards the restroom and raised an eyebrow.

“If you want to make out in a really scary place,” Keith said and leaned back to him, “then what about tonight in a bed in your parent’s hotel?”

“Urgh,” Lance grunted and hang down his head, “you know how to kill a mood.”

“Then it’s your responsibility to fix this.”

Lance tried to smile but Keith saw right through it.

“For real now,” Keith said in a more earnest tone, “it’s up to you, Lance. Just say the word and we put it off.”

And he meant it. He meant it even though he knew a part of him would be disappointed if that happened. It was a selfish thought, sure, but he wasn’t about to share this little thing with Lance, so who cares, right?

“I wanna tell them, really,” Lance said and leaned his head against Keith’s shoulder.

Keith hummed.

“But...not like right away. I mean, not tonight. I don’t think I can have this talk without Veronica being there.”

“Sure,” Keith said, “if that’s what you want, we’ll wait for her.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Lance snuggled closer to Keith and continued watching his TV show, although without the headphones. It was the 21st of December and Veronica and her fiancee weren’t going to arrive before Christmas Eve. Three nights and two whole days of pretending they weren’t madly in love with each other. What could possibly go wrong, Keith asked himself.

~~

It was after 10 pm when their plane finally landed at Varadero airport. The moment Keith left the plane and walked on the flight of stairs, Cuba’s heat smacked him right into his face. The captain had informed them about the temperature of almost 80 degrees Fahrenheit during his descent speech but Keith had already forgotten what 80 degrees felt like. It was only 40 degrees back in Oregon where they had started their trip this morning.

They walked with the rest of the passengers the short distance towards the airport building and the baggage claim. Lance took his hand and smiled, his walk was very bouncy.

“I am so excited to be back,” he said and swung their hands widely with happiness. Some people stared at them but Lance didn’t seem to notice. Keith carefully withdrew his hand.

“There, number 2, that’s us,” he said and hurried to the conveyor belt, leaving Lance behind him. Unlike Keith Lance hadn’t made much bad experiences with homophobic people yet and that’s one thing Keith was grateful for. He on the other side…

Lance appeared next to him and took back his hand with a questioning face.

“Is everything okay?”

“Just a bit nervous,” Keith said and squeezed his hand.

“Me too,” Lance confessed.

Keith leaned his back against a pillar and bent his knee to put a foot against it too. He wanted to cross his arms in front of his body but Lance was still holding his hand. Back in Arcadia Bay the people didn’t mind much about Keith being gay, at least that was his impression so far. He suspected it was the money that protected him. Only two months ago he had inherited the most powerful and wealthy foundation of the Portland area and yes, people talked about him and the events that had led to his inheritance – which included his private life. He was young, he was about to bring the change the town needed and, well, he was gay. A rather blunt journalist had asked him about his sexual orientation and Keith didn’t have a choice but to answer honestly. Truth to be told Keith and Lance didn’t exactly make a secret of their relationship. Although he hadn’t introduced Lance officially as his boyfriend, the town knew. People knew. But here in Cuba, in this unknown country, they didn’t know. Suddenly he was just a guy being in love with another guy on his way to meet his boyfriend’s family.

The conveyor belt started moving.

“I go get it,” Lance said and went to the front. Quickly Keith crossed his arms and exhaled. Much better. Safer. He watched Lance helping two elderly women to take down their luggage from the belt. With a smile on his face, he put the two suitcases on a baggage cart. Watching Lance being himself was the most wholesome thing Keith had ever seen. Two months ago Lance had been kidnapped because he had wanted to help an old woman but it didn’t stop him from seeing the good in people. Well, most of them at least. His parents seemed to be in a gray-zone Keith couldn’t quite understand yet. No matter how much Lance loved them, lately he portrayed them as if they were the end boss of his personal game of life and everything depended on their approval. 

Which bugged Keith.

A lot.

He hated to see Lance beating himself up about his imminent coming-out. It upset Keith so much he had already caught himself feeling angry at the McClains - unjustifiably. The only place they had given them a reaction yet was in both Keith's and Lance's heads. Maybe in real life, everything would turn out differently. Keith hoped so.

After a short while Lance returned with their luggage.

“Okay,” he said.

Keith put down his foot and pushed himself back from the wall.

“So...shall we?” he asked.

“I suppose.”

They started walking towards the exit’s slide doors that opened for a family walking in front of them. On the other side there were people waiting. Waiting for their families, significant others, friends, colleagues…and Lance walked against Keith’s shoulder to push him off his way to the doors.

“What are you doing?” Keith asked when Lance had managed to push and drag him towards a bench next to the restrooms. Then Lance took Keith’s face in his hands and kissed him as if the world was about to end. It was urgent and sloppy and Keith didn’t even know where to put his hands because Lance’s lips distracted him from existing in the best way. It still made Keith absolutely dizzy when Lance acted as if he loved him.

No.

No, Keith thought and stopped his thoughts. He didn’t act, he loved you, he reminded himself. Old thoughts were hard to kill but thankfully Lance’s hands and lips were downright murderous.

“What was that for?” Keith asked breathlessly after Lance had finished pressing kisses on his lips.

“Keith,” he said sternly and took his hands, “I can’t kiss you for the next few days.” There was real shock in his face and if it hadn’t been that sincere, Keith would have probably laughed, mistaking it for a joke. Instead he just squinted his eyes to show him his confusion.

“What do you mean ‘you can’t kiss me’? Of course you can.”

“No,” Lance said and shook his head, “I told you I can’t tell them about us, not until Veronica is here.”

Keith exhaled with relief. Just the panic he was already used to see in Lance.

“We talked about this, I understand--.”

“No, no you don’t. We’ll be surrounded by my family all the time.”

“Lance, calm down, I’m sure we will have some moments alone. And we have the nights.” Keith gave him an encouraging smile but Lance's eye’s widened only more.

“Oh God, we don’t have the nights, we’ll sleep in different rooms.”

Now it was Keith who stared in shock at his boyfriend.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Not telling Lance’s family about their relationship was one thing but not even sleeping in the same room at night?

“I’m not.”

“Okay, listen, you just sneak into my room when everyone else is asleep, no one will notice.”

“I can’t do this!”

“Then I’ll do it and come to you, alright?”

“They will know, they will know, Keith!”

As much as Keith understood Lance’s fear it started to drain him. And once again he noticed he wasn’t the most patient person on this planet. It took all his willpower and a deep breath to stay calm himself. If he was honest with himself, he wanted Lance to get over with it as fast as possible. Either Lance’s family would accept it – or not. He hoped the McClains would be a more tolerant and accepting family than his foster parents had been.

And then there were these other thoughts. What if Lance was too afraid and didn’t tell them at all. What if their relationship would be a secret until maybe one day they would break up and then Lance dated a girl. Someone his family would definitely approve.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lance whined and buried his face in Keith’s neck as if he wanted to hide. Keith embraced him in the hope to ground him… and in the hope to keep him close forever and for always.

“Calm down. Breathe.” He sighed and tried to focus on Lance instead of his own bad thoughts. “So we have to sleep in different rooms, big deal. I think we can manage to act like normal people for a few days.”

“You mean we’re usually not normal people?” Lance asked with a hint of mischief in his voice and leaned back to look at Keith.

“You know what I mean,” Keith said and rolled his eyes.

“No, please elaborate.”

Lance looked at him with a wicked grin on his face. He knew exactly how uncomfortable Keith was with talking about their relationship as something, well, real, but he kept pushing him nevertheless. As if he knew he had to make Keith say it out loud sometimes before he started doubting everything, especially himself. The last time Keith had yelled about ruining their relationship things had gotten pretty out of hand – and now Lance constantly tried to prove that Keith didn’t screw up anything by just being himself. In good and in bad. Which started to get a bit difficult now that they had to hide their relationship. Pretending not being close to each other was exactly the opposite to make Keith feel safe and confident. It scared him. And this familiar fear was a brutal reminder of all the times people had abandoned him. (Lance included.)

He tried to shake off these thoughts.

“I mean we’re not exactly, you know,” Keith said hesitantly and planted a light kiss on Lance’s cheek, “subtle when we’re together.”

“No, we’re not,” Lance confirmed, “I wonder why.” He gently kissed him on his lips. Keith’s stomach did some somersaults. How could this boy still cause these strong reactions in his body and mind, constantly catching him off guard with the affection he granted him?

They put their foreheads together and Lance got more serious. “You know that I love you, Keith, right? I love you.”

“I love you, too, Lance.” Probably more than you could imagine, Keith added in his head.

“Just a few days...”

“Just a few days.”

It was late and most of the people had already left the security area when Lance and Keith finally made their way into the main building. The slide doors parted and –

“MAMA??”

 


	2. At The End Of The Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's meet some family members aka a short chapter that basically belongs to the first one.

###  **At The End Of The Day**

 

“Niño!”

A short woman with curly brown hair waved at them from the other side of the barrier. Lance dropped his luggage and ran towards her. Meanwhile Keith’s heart began to race.

This was it. This was Mrs. McClain – or Mary, as he had called her during his childhood. She was older, probably crossed the line to her sixties, but she radiated the same warmth as all those days he had spent at the McClain’s house in Arcadia Bay, Oregon. Being a good boyfriend he took up Lance’s luggage and walked up to them. Lance was still hugging his mother, wobbling from side to side with the smaller woman in his arms. It was an endearing picture.

Next to them was a man in his early forties. He was the tallest member of the McClains, his skin browner than Lance’s and he had a little beard on his chin.

“Is that really you, Keith?” he asked and reached out his hand to shake Keith’s. “Last time I saw you, you were this little.” He pointed at his waist.

“It’s really me, Luis,” Keith said with a smile. It was Lance’s oldest sibling who lived in Havanna with his wife Lisa and their two children Sylvio and Nadia. Keith had never been close to him because for the young boy he once had been, Luis had been ancient. Not someone to play hide and seek with.

“Keith!”

Lance’s mother turned towards him. She’d always been like a second mother to Keith, maybe even more, so this moment and her reaction meant a great deal to him. What if she didn’t like him? What if this was already the beginning of the end of his and Lance’s relationship? What if--

She reached up to put her hands on Keith’s shoulders, then softly touched his cheeks.

“Mira qué alto eres!” she laughed with wide eyes.

“Not that tall,” Lance added and straightened himself.

“Y muy guapo, ay, que guapo eres.”

Out of the corner of his eye Keith saw Lance beaming at him. He knew he’d just been called handsome and Lance looked downright ridiculously proud.

“Ah, mi otro hijo, it’s so good to see you,” she exclaimed loudly and hugged him so firmly that some of her hair got stuck in Keith’s mouth. He didn’t mind, not at all.

“Gracias por la invitación,” Keith said politely. He still knew bits and pieces of Spanish since he had spent his childhood mostly with the McClains but he had looked up a few things to make a good impression.

“De nada, you are always welcome with us.”

She regarded him for a long moment, smiling, nodding to herself as if she indeed had just got back another son. For a second Keith allowed himself the question if he had got back his second mother. Warmth flooded his body. Why was Lance so scared of this wonderful woman?

“Thank you, um, Mrs. McClain.”

“Mary!” she and Lance yelled at the same time. Then they all looked at each other for a quiet second and burst into loud laughter.

“Please call her Mary, Keith,” Lance said with tears of laughter and happiness in his eyes, “it’s just my mom.”

That was an oxymoron Keith had never understood. It was never “just” a “mom”. He looked at Mary standing between them, her hands squeezing one of Keith’s and one of Lance’s, a bright smile on her face.

“Let’s head home,” Luis said finally, took their luggage and guided them towards the exit. Lance more or less hobbled next to them, his happiness infecting Keith as well. Now he was the one who wanted to take Lance’s hand to swing them back and forth. But he didn’t.

The drive back to the hotel the McClain’s owned wasn’t long. The main town of Varadero was located on a 13-miles-long and less than 1-mile-wide peninsula. The hotel was right behind the town sign in the beginning of the peninsula – the further up, the more expensive and bigger the hotels got.

He and Lance sat in the back of the car. Lance and his mother talked a lot, mostly about the recent gossip in the hotel business, making fun or complaining about the bigger hotels. Keith looked to the side. There was a backpack on the middle seat between them. Slowly he slid his hand behind it towards Lance and bumped his fingers against his hip. If it hadn’t been that dark, Keith would have been sure that Lance blushed slightly when he took his hand, hiding their interlocked fingers behind the bag. Keith’s heart made a happy jump. So there were opportunities to be close to each other after all. The last mile it got quiet in the car. Keith enjoyed the silence and looked at Lance. Lance looked back at him. Now and then the orange street lights illuminated their faces. They were tired from the long trip. Tired but happy. A smile lingered on their faces. The air was warm and carried the smell of the ocean’s salt water. The radio played quietly some Cuban song.

If they were able to talk, Keith would have said “that went well” and he hoped Lance would have answered “yes, I’m less scared now”. He really hoped so.

~~

The hotel was comparatively small. There was a lobby with some comfy and used looking armchairs, a reception and a staircase leading up to the rooms. It was an old two-story-building (all the hotels in Varadero only had two or three floors tops) but it was well restored. It couldn’t compete with the big resorts and their countless bars and pools but the room rate was affordable, the location was more quiet and it had its own charm. Less international flair, more old Cuban flair, thanks to Lance’s grandparents who owned and tended to it with much love before they had passed away six years ago - the reason why the McClain’s had moved to Cuba.

“Wow, this is beautiful,” Keith said when they entered the lobby. “It’s like...” He was talking more to himself than to the others but everyone looked at him to hear his final verdict. Mary even looked somewhat unsure.

“It feels like home.”

Home. What a simple word for a feeling Keith hadn't dared to think of for a long time. For the last few years, Shiro had been the only one in his life to make him feel like he had a home again. A safe place to turn to, in this case in the form of a person. But now here in this lobby - the style, the furniture, even the fainted smell of cigars but most importantly the people around him and the natural way Lance’s mother had accepted him in her arms - it was like being back at the McClain’s home in Arcadia Bay. An actual place he had once considered the safest place on Earth.

Mary put a hand on his arm.

“Well then, welcome home, Keith.”

It was almost 11 pm when she took up a key from the desk behind the reception desk.

“Here you go,” Mary said and gave it Keith.

“And where’s mine?” Lance asked.

“Didn't I tell you? You’re coming home with me. Some rooms get renovated and we don’t have enough space. We decided to keep the hotel open over Christmas and New Year because,” she struggled for a moment like she was uncomfortable for Keith to hear it, “well, because we can’t afford to close it. That's just how it is. In a few days some guests leave and then you can stay here with the others. Together with Veronica and her, um, girlfriend.”

For a long second it got so quiet Keith thought to hear the ocean’s waves in the middle of the lobby.

“What?” Lance asked as if he had misheard his mother’s words. “I can’t stay here?”

“We only have four free rooms in the second floor that aren’t booked right now, Lance. For Marco, Rachel, Keith and the big one for Luis, Lisa and the children.”

“Though Marco isn’t here yet,” Luis said.

“But he might come,” Mary replied stubbornly, “he promised.”

“Wait, wait, no, hang on,” Lance interjected with raised hands. “I can’t leave Keith alone here. He’s a foreigner in a foreign country and, and, and doesn’t know the, um, culture.”

Keith resisted to nod urgently. He felt rather helpless in this situation. He most certainly didn’t want Lance to leave. The last few weeks they'd always spent the night together. He didn’t even know how to fall asleep anymore without hearing Lance's steady breaths next to him. The past events had taken a toll on them both and they needed each other when the memories forced them into bad places.

“There’s an empty room and I want to stay here,” Lance declared, the same stubbornness in his voice as his mother.

“Tu padre quiere verte esta noche y tienes que ayudarme,” his mother replied vigorously.

Lance grimaced. Keith understood only a few words. Something about Lance’s father and something about helping.

“We’re not vampires, Lance,” Luis chuckled. “I’m sure Keith is fine to be separated from you for a few hours. You’re not six years old anymore, right?” With a smile he patted Keith’s back.

“Ri-right,” Keith agreed reluctantly. Internally he felt like he was falling down a deep dark endless hole. His eyes found Lance’s and they both stared at each other, not being able to hide the horror in their faces.

“You’ll see each other in the morning and then you can show him around, niño,” Mary said reassuringly but this time her warmth didn’t reach Keith’s heart. “Venga, Lance.”

She said good night to Luis and Keith and walked outside to the car.

“I’ll show you to your room,” Luis said to Keith and started walking up the stairs. “Good night, Lance.”

Lance was frozen.

“Um, good night, Lance,” Keith said quietly. Mary was outside and Luis waited on the stairs for him but they were out of hear-sight. “What do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Lance whispered with panic in his voice. “I don’t know, oh God, Keith. I am so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

But if Lance had told them about… – not an option, Keith, don’t even think about it. Blaming Lance for not telling his parents wouldn’t do anything good in this situation.

“It really isn’t your fault,” he repeated, more to himself than to Lance.

“I see you tomorrow.” Lance hugged him briefly. “I love you,” he whispered.

Keith nodded. This situation hurt him too much to say anything.

Then Lance left and Keith was alone with Luis.

“You coming, Keith?”

~~

His hotel room reminded Keith much of the lobby. Not very big but it had a double bed, a small desk and a chair, an older TV, some painted pictures of Cuba’s landscape, a bathroom with a shower.

He checked his phone and shit, no signal. No WIFI either. What a nightmare. With a grunt he threw himself on the bed. His anger was never directed at Lance but at the things that kept them separated. Like Lance’s parents. Intolerance. Rooms that needed to get renovated.

Or at himself for not being able to deal with it. With this whole situation.

He scrolled through his pictures folders. At least there were plenty of photos of Lance and him, mostly taken by their friend Pidge. He stopped at the picture they had sent Veronica over a month ago. The picture Lance had used to come out to her. It showed Lance kissing Keith’s cheek and Keith grinning into the camera. It had been one of the first pictures they had taken as a couple and therefore meant everything to Keith.

Once they had been two separate universes, too far away from each other. But a force had brought them back together and two universes had become one. Their were linked to each other; not by fate or destiny but by their free will and wish to be together. At times they still felt the after-shock of the powers they had possessed. Powers that had been granted them to fulfill their wish. 

The power to reverse time.

No one would ever understand what Keith and Lance had gone through. No one except the two of them. The countless times they had saved each other's lives, the sacrifice they almost had to make.

In the end they had been lucky. No damage had been done. The scars on their souls, the images of things that had happened – and unhappened – had begun to fade. But the fading was a slow process. And without being able to ground each other, they had to deal with their thoughts on their own.

And there’s one thing Keith hadn’t told Lance yet.

Well.

Not explicitly.

Lance claimed his superpower had vanished after they had stopped the storm threatening to destroy Arcadia Bay and Keith had no reason to doubt his words.

But.

The thing was.

Keith’s power hadn’t vanished completely. It had only gotten weaker.

And even though he had never used it again to reverse time, _somehow_ he hadn’t had a chance yet to tell Lance about it. Heck, sometimes he even forgot about it. Only when he had messed something up, or thought he had, he felt the power radiating through his body and he tried his best to resist it. And so far it had worked.

He remembered the promise he had given Lance once.

“I promise you to not change anything with you. Or anybody else. But most importantly with you. If we fight, we fight and we will pull through this together. Just like you said. If you want to yell at me, you can yell at me. And the other way around. And I hope you will trust me.”

And Lance had said: “I trust you.”

And Keith didn’t intend to break this promise ever.

After the storm, other things had occupied their minds and Keith had waited for the right moment to tell Lance about his still active power. But the right moment had never come, no, quite the opposite had happened: the more time had passed, the harder it had become to reopen that chapter of their lives Lance already considered closed. And there wasn't exactly a support group he could join that helped him to deal with a secret superpower.

No, the only one who could help him was Lance.

So Keith had made another promise, this time to himself. The promise to tell Lance about it before the year was over.

If Lance was able to tell his parents they were a couple, it should be easy to tell Lance he had withheld some tiny little fact for the last two months.

Right?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to separate them...  
> the next chapter will be longer, i promise.


	3. Too Much In Love To Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subtle? Lance and Keith?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a few more tags like PTSD, homophobia and Keith having abandonment issues, so this will definitely be a part of this story from now on, just so you know.  
> additional content notes for this chapter: food
> 
> The chapter wrote itself faster than I had expected. I'm not used to writing established relationships but I had a lot of fun, so, enjoy.

###  **Too Much In Love To Care**

 

**22nd December**

He could hear Lance before he could see him. Keith was standing next to the coffee pot in the hotel’s breakfast room and turned around to look at the door and there he was.

Lance. Actual love of his life, Keith thought without a hint of irony. He wore a pair of beige khaki shorts and a blue shirt. Keith wanted to smile but resisted the urge. Quickly he folded his arms across his chest and pressed them close to his body, a gesture that helped him to keep his emotions in check. It’s been less than twelve hours that they had seen each other but for Keith it might as well have been a lifetime.

There was a little girl – his niece Nadia - clinging to Lance’s hand, leading him towards Keith.

“This is Keef,” Nadia said and excitedly wiggled Lance’s hand.

“Oh, thank you for introducing us, Nadia, but I know him, Keef is my best friend,” Lance said in the sweetest child-friendly voice and Keith wanted to die right on the spot. The little girl nodded happily and tottered off to her older brother. Lance took a step forward to stand closer to him. Keith felt his eyes quickly scanning his body. He wore the same kind of knee-long shorts as Lance but in red and a black shirt.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How did you sleep?” Lance asked cautiously.

“Had better nights.”

“Are you, um, mad at me? You didn’t text me back.”

Keith dropped his arms and briefly touched Lance’s back without anyone to see.

“I’m not mad at you. Apparently my provider doesn’t like Cuba and there’s no WiFi.”

Lance exhaled audibly.

“Oh thank God, I thought you were angry at me for, you know, leaving with mom.”

“I’m not, I just--”

Miss you. Love you. Can’t function without you. Which was probably a bad sign but so what.

“Me too,” Lance said quietly and leaned his shoulder against Keith’s. They both relaxed at each other’s touch. “I could barely sleep. And I--”

“What?”

“I was miserable.”

“So was I.”

“I mean...” he took a deep breath and looked at his boyfriend. “I cried, Keith.”

“Did you have another nightmare?”

“No. I just fucking missed you, you utter fool.”

Lance never shied away from telling him exactly how he felt about him. At times it was hard for Keith to voice his feelings, especially when he felt insecure – which seemed to be his default setting when it came to people he was afraid to lose.

Keith didn’t know how to reply. He hadn’t cried. Did it make him a bad boyfriend? His prominent feeling had been anger. And that anger had drowned out all his other emotions.

“Yeah, I know,” Lance continued, “Luis was right. I’m like a child that can’t be without you. And you’re, you’re like, one of those night lights.”

Keith snorted.

“I’m glad you didn’t say teddy bear,” he deadpanned.

“Unless you want to be?” Lance winked at him. He had his ways to cheer them both up when they needed it the most.

“Lance!” they heard some people shout. It was Lisa, Luis’ wife and mother of Nadia and Sylvio, and his sister oldest sister Rachel. Lance greeted the members of his family he hadn’t seen the night before. Keith took his seat at the big table and had a few bites of his tostada. Luis and a large cup of coffee kept him silent company.

He had already done his introduction round with every member of the present McClain’s, everyone except Marco (who apparently was in Miami), Veronica (still in New York) and…

“Buenas dias,” a voice said behind him. Keith’s eyes widened. He quickly swallowed the rest of the bite, got up and turned around.

Lance’s dad had gotten older as well. His black hair wasn’t as full anymore and he looked a bit weaker, Keith noticed. The mustache in his face was very prominent but it suited him and his brown skin.

“Buenas dias, señior,” Keith said and they shook hands. It was a very firm handshake and it increased Keith’s anxiety. This was the person he feared the most when it came to approval of his and Lance’s relationship. From what he’d heard from Lance, he still pretended his daughter Veronica wasn’t engaged to a girl. What if he learned that his youngest son followed her footsteps? He tried to stay calm. “Thank you for the invitation. Your hotel is very beautiful.”

Señior McClain nodded. He was more like Keith, not displaying his emotions if he didn’t have to (except he watched his favorite telenovela).

“Yes, it is.” They stared at each other for a moment.

“I can’t wait to see more of Varadero,” Keith said, trying to keep the conversation going although he despised small-talk.

Señior McClain grunted and shook his head. Lance appeared out of nowhere at their sides and Keith sent a mental thank-you note to him.

“Yeah, the town isn’t as pretty as it used to be, yadda yadda yadda, the good old times, we know, dad,” he commented on his father’s reaction. “It’s like 99% tourists now and has lost its charm, as the old man always says. But the beaches and caves are still amazing.”

“Yes, they are, you need to see them,” Lance’s mom chimed in. She smiled at Keith. “It’s good to have you back, Keith. We all missed you. Don’t let this grumpy man fool you. He missed you, too.”

Lance’s father grunted again and walked with his wife to the breakfast buffet but not without giving Keith the smallest smile. Phew. Keith allowed himself to relax again. As a child, he had never talked much to Lance’s dad although he’d always been there.

A dad. He didn’t know how to have a dad. And with his biological father being in jail for trying to kill him he didn’t want to know how to have a dad anyway.

“She’s right,” Lance said quietly. “He didn’t forget you, neither of us did. And he knows you’re my best friend.”

“Yeah, your best friend,” Keith repeated and couldn’t stop himself from giving Lance a too intense glare. For a second there was open hurt in Lance’s eyes and once again Keith felt guilty to have expressed his emotions. The bad ones, the ones he used to hide. He didn’t want Lance to think he was blaming him; the situation stressed him and he didn’t know how to release his tension otherwise.

All this hiding, the waiting for someone to approve his existence, his love, it reminded him too much of his past. He had learned people either accepted him or they didn’t. His foster parents hadn’t accepted him. Shiro had. All the waiting for the right moment had been unnecessary.

Lance was still looking at him. Keith changed his expression to something apologetic and his boyfriend’s eyes softened. Speaking of right moments, he still had to tell his him about his residual superpower...

“I’m gonna get some eggs,” Lance simply said and went after his parents.

Keith sighed and let himself slide back on his seat. Luis eyed him from the opposite side of the table. Oh God. Had he been eavesdropping? He couldn’t have. Even if he had, Keith hadn’t really said anything, had he?

He decided to observe the hotel guests instead. There were like a dozen of them, mostly couples and all of them appeared as a male plus a female. Keith knew outer appearances often deceived but it increased his feeling of being out of place.

The info map in his room had told him there were about twenty rooms at El Ojo Crispado, one breakfast room, a lobby and an outside area with pools shared with three other hotels. Although Christmas was upon them, nothing looked festive. He knew from his childhood that Christmas wasn’t big in Cuba because it had been forbidden several decades until 1998 so Lance’s parents hadn’t been raised with that tradition in their minds. In Arcadia Bay they only did a minor version to entertain the children. They didn’t want them to feel excluded by not celebrating this important holiday in the USA.

Keith didn’t mind. The last time he’d been excited about Christmas his mom still had been alive.

Lance took a seat next to him and brought Keith’s thoughts back to the presence.

“What’s the plan for today?” he asked his sister Rachel. She was in her early 30s but looked more like in her early 20s and could easily have been Lance’s twin sister. She threw her long brown hear back and rolled her eyes.

“Getting a Christmas tree for the guests.”

“I thought Dad didn’t want to do that anymore?”

“He changed his mind.”

“Why?” Lance asked with a full mouth.

“You’re disgusting.”

“You’re dischgustin’.”

Rachel punched him in his shoulder.

“Ouch.”

“Stop it,” Mary’s voice sounded from the other side of the table as she sat down with a bowl of fruit. “Lance, don’t talk with a full mouth, Rachel, stop hitting your brother.”

“Urgh.”

“To answer your question, Lance, your father thought it would be nice to have a little Christmas spirit here with Keith and, um, Veronica’s girlfriend joining us.”

“You know she has a name,” Lance said quietly. Mary pretended to not have heard anything.

“Why don’t you and Keith help Rachel with the tree? You can show Keith around.”

“Oh,” Lance said and looked at Keith. “What do you say?”

Keith hated to be put into a decision-making position in social interactions so he thought a shrug would be the best answer. Thankfully Lance came to his rescue.

“I don’t think Rachel is able to pick a decent tree anyway so I think we should join her.”

“Wow, low blow,” his sister said.

“You don’t choose a tree,” Mary explained with furrowed brows, “we ordered one, you just have to pick it up.”

“We _know_ , mom,” both Lance and Rachel sighed in unison.

“That was the joke, máma,” Luis helped his mother who shook her head at her children.

Keith hadn’t noticed that Lance had moved his chair closer to him until he felt Lance’s knee softly pressing against his. He glanced at him. No reaction. Lance kept talking to Rachel. Meanwhile his undivided attention was focused on the small spot on his knee where Lance’s skin touched Keith’s. Is this the closest they would get the next few days? A little touch here, maybe a brief kiss there. But if that was what Lance wanted then he had to roll with it.

“...am I right, Keith? Why do I even ask, of course I am.”

Keith looked up and found Lance and Rachel staring at him.

“Um, sure?”

There was a wicked smile on Lance’s lips.

“Oh-oh, someone zoned out,” Rachel said in amusement.

“Huh?”

“Keith, you should know Lance better than to agree with anything he said when you obviously didn’t listen. No, in fact, never agree with anything he says.” She waved her fork at him. “Make that a rule!”

“What did you say?” Keith asked.

“I said,” Lance repeated slowly and with the hint of a tease in his voice, “that I am the most handsome person in this room.”

Rachel laughed loudly, drawing everyone’s attention to them, and Lance wiggled his eyebrows.

“You didn’t say that,” Keith stated and felt his blood pressure elevating but Lance just shrugged.

“Then what did I say, hm?”

“Lance, don’t make him uncomfortable,” Mary warned his son.

“Ah, he knows it’s true.” No one took him seriously. “Or am I making you uncomfortable, Keith?” he asked under his breath. Suddenly Keith felt a hand on his thigh and he almost jumped out of his chair. No one noticed, no one noticed, he thought but then his eyes caught Rachel’s. She didn’t say anything but a raised eyebrow was enough to make him quickly look away.

What is this boy doing? What about being subtle? Didn’t Lance notice?

Apparently not because he was taking slow sips of his hot chocolate, looking nowhere and everywhere but Keith, like it was some kind of game to him.

Keith usually wasn’t the one to blush easily but the heat kept rising up in him and came to a boiling point when Lance started to draw little hearts with his finger on his leg.

That was it. He couldn’t do that any longer. His heart ached for him.

With a cough he turned to Lance.

“I-- I have some trouble with my phone, can you take a look at it?”

“Sure, show me.”

Keith gave Lance a meaningful look and prayed his oblivious boyfriend would understand the hint.

“I left it in my room.”

“Well then just--” Keith pressed his leg harder against Lance’s. “Oh.” Lance withdrew the hand from Keith’s thigh. “We’re upstairs,” he said to the others but no one really listened to him, not even Rachel.

The two young men got up and walked briskly up the stairs. Keith unlocked the door to his room and –

“Ouuf.”

\- found himself pressed against the wall. With his foot Lance shut the door behind them and leaned towards Keith...who put his hands on Lance’s chest to hold him back.

God, he had missed touching him, he thought briefly.

“So you’re gonna take a look at my phone or what?”

Lance’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, seriously?”

Keith chuckled, his eyes flickering between Lance’s eyes and mouth. No matter how desperately he wanted Lance to kiss him into oblivion right now, he knew how much Lance liked it when Keith humored him with little games like these.

“Alright, Kogane,” Lance whispered but slowly leaned forward. Keith’s mind went blank. Game, what game. His hands wandered up to Lance’s shoulders.

Lance tilted his head.

Keith closed his eyes.

His heart beat fast and the swirl in his stomach made his knees weak in anticipation of Lance’s lips finally touching his.

But.

Nothing happened. He opened his eyes again.

Lance grinned. Then he quickly licked across Keith’s lips and sat down on the bed.

“Urgh, Rachel is right,” Keith grimaced. “You’re disgusting.” With the back of his hand, he wiped his mouth.

“You love it.” Meanwhile he had taken hold of Keith’s phone. “You didn’t even change the lock screen,” he said. “What if someone sees it?”

“It’s just a picture of you hugging me. Nothing more.”

“Keith, I have my eyes closed and one hand in your hair. Look at my face!”

“I happen to like your face.”

Lance huffed a laugh.

“I mean on the picture.”

“You look gorgeous.”

“I look way too happy and peaceful.”

Keith sat down next to him.

“Too happy to be with me?” he asked quietly. The moment he said it he regretted it. He didn't want to burden Lance with his own insecurity, the least here at his parent's house where they had enough to worry already.

“Keith,” Lance said seriously, “You cause this happiness. I look like I’m in heaven. Which is exactly where I am whenever I’m with you. Or not with you, physically. But we’re still, like, together. But not in the same room. Though I prefer to be in the same room with--”

“You’re rambling.”

“Everyone who sees this pictures immediately knows.”

“Knows what?”

“That loving you makes me the happiest person on this planet.”

Keith breathed in sharply.

Of course, now the usual oblivious boy decided to notice Keith’s strong reaction.

“Why does it surprise you that I love you so much?” Lance asked. He tried to sound lightly, funny even, but there was a grain of truth in it and they both knew it.

Yes, he was still surprised that Lance truly loved him but it was more the intense and fearless way his boyfriend chose to show it. Open, honest, unafraid. As if he had nothing to lose.

But being with Lance’s family suddenly painted a quite different picture. Family was everything to Lance. Didn’t Lance see how vulnerable that left Keith? In one moment he begged him to not tell anyone, to be careful, to not kiss him, everything to not tell his family about their relationship. And in the next moment he drew hearts on his leg, stole touches from him and carried his love for him on his tongue.

Keith was exhausted. He didn’t want to go back into the closet but if Lance pushed him this way – even if it was just supposed to be temporary - he didn’t have any other choice but to follow.

Better than being in the closet with the one he loved than being out of it and alone again.

Keith had a history of people leaving him but the circumstances varied. Which only made the fear bigger: when there was no clear and assignable reason for him being abandoned how could he avoid it from happening? Maybe it was just his fate.

His mother had died; Lance and his family had moved to Cuba the summer he had fallen in love with his best friend; Keith had been expelled from school because he had got into a fight with the son of an influential person; his foster parents had kicked him out after his coming out; and at last there was Kolivan, the leader of the gang he had worked for, who had suddenly decided Keith wasted his potential and was too young for work like that and had sent him away with the words “you will thank me later”.

Did it also count that his father and half-sister had tried to kill him?

“Hm?” Lance nudged him.

Keith stopped thinking about an answer he knew he couldn’t find without going through all these things step by step. Instead he nodded at his phone in Lance’s hand.

“Can you fix it?”

Lance hummed a long note – an indication that he accepted another one of Keith’s dodges to avoid a topic he wasn’t comfortable with. Keith wondered how much longer he would get away with rather saying nothing than risking to say something wrong that might come with severe consequences, especially something that might hurt Lance. He didn’t want to be tempted to use his time-reversing power again.

Thankfully Lance had turned out to be very patient with him.

He really didn’t deserve him, Keith thought.

“No, but we can buy you a sim card later. And I’ll fix the WiFi. It’s probably just the usual old people problem.”

Keith nodded.

They both fell silent. Lance put away the phone and took Keith’s hand.

“I’m gonna ask mom if I can have Marco’s room. And then we will spend the night together. I promise.”

Keith felt the tingle on his cheeks before he was aware that he smiled.

Lance put a hand against Keith’s chest, asking him with his eyes and a soft push to lay back down. Keith obliged wordlessly and pulled Lance with him, never breaking eye contact, until the brown haired boy leaned over him, their faces close together.

Keith put a hand around Lance’s back and pulled his body down to him. The weight of Lance pushed him deeper into the mattress but he hadn’t felt that light in days. His other hand rested in Lance’s neck, his fingertips playfully touching the soft skin and hair. Heat rushed through his body and circled around his heart. He wished they could be even closer, way more closer than this, and stay like this forever.

“Lance?” Keith whispered. In this close proximity, he could see every freckle on Lance’s face. The different shades of blue in his eyes. His insanely long eyelashes.

“Hm?” Lance hummed impatiently and Keith felt his warm breath on his face. Lance leaned down and softly kissed the corner of his mouth. An intense tingling spread from this spot across his cheeks, like a wave caused by a stone tossed in the water.

Lance used Keith’s speechless moment to kiss the other corner of his mouth as well. A shiver ran down Keith’s spine and his breath became erratic.

“I love you,” Keith whispered, almost breathlessly, waiting for Lance to kiss him like he meant it.

“And I love you,” Lance said.

Carefully he brushed away Keith’s bangs to uncover his eyes and Keith melted under Lance’s intense look. It was a forceful look that made Keith sink even deeper into the bed. A silent look that declared loudly that Keith was everything to Lance, a look that had the power to paralyze Keith’s self-esteem issues, a look that said You Are Everything To Me.

A look that made Keith believe it was true.

“Keith,” Lance said and started to lean down to him, “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

Not if I kiss you first, Keith wanted to say but instead he tilted up his chin. Their lips met in the middle, but not for long. Lance’s kiss was forceful and pushed Keith’s head back down on the pillow. He leaned on his forearms and took Keith’s head in his hands. His thumbs softly caressed his temples.

Keith felt Lance’s tongue on his lips and it drew out a sigh from him. He increased the pressure on Lance’s head to pull him closer, just closer and closer and closer. He needed this boy more than he needed air.

Feeling Lance’s tongue gently pressing over and over against his own pushed the air out of his lungs. Lance was a slow kisser and it drove Keith mad in the best way. Several parts of his body prickled and tingled. His lips and his fingertips, a place under his heart that sent shivers through his body, and somewhere south of it. One hand nestled in his boyfriend’s hair, messing it up, caressing the back of his head, the other hand slid down until it came to rest on Lance’s hip. Keith hold him in place when he moved up his hip. The sudden friction between them and their light clothes made them both gasp.

“Keith,” Lance breathed. With dilated pupils he stared at him. “We cannot--”

“I know,” Keith said and pulled Lance’s head back down in another kiss. He knew they didn’t have the time but he didn’t care. And they way Lance kissed him back convinced him he didn’t care either.

Again he moved under Lance, just a little, but it was enough to make them both throw any ideas of “we cannot” out of the window. Keith pushed up Lance’s shirt rather unceremoniously but a hand stopped him.

“Did we lock the door?” Lance whispered.

In this moment there was a weak knock on the door.

Startled Lance leaned back and crawled off the bed. Keith sat up and patted down his hair. He looked at Lance. Lance’s lips were red and swollen, his hair was messy and his face was flushed. Taking his own heavy breathing and the heat in his body into account he guessed he had to look just the same.

Lance put a finger on his lips.

Another knock, or more like someone patted against it without any force. Then the door opened and the handle snapped back up with a loud sound.

“Tío? Keef?”

“Nadia,” Lance exhaled in bewilderment, “what are you doing here?”

The little girl stared at them with big eyes.

“You have funny hair,” she said to Lance and giggled.

Keith bit his lip to prevent himself from smirking. Lance’s hair was a mess, it reminded him of a hedgehog.

“NADIA, oh no, I told you to knock,” they heard Rachel’s voice in the hallway and Lance eyes widened. “Please tell me she--”

Rachel appeared in the door frame. Lance tried to straighten his hair with a dapper wave of his hand and Keith quickly moved his position to sit on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor.

“She knocked once,” Lance said with an emotionless voice, “then she kind of petted the door like a cute dog and walked in.”

“Well at least she--”

Rachel stopped. Her eyes switched between Keith and Lance. Keith suddenly decided the floor was a good place to stare at and Lance put a hand in his neck, turned around and glanced outside the window.

Rachel cleared her throat.

“Nadia, go down and find your brother,” she told the little girl who nodded and left the room. It was quiet for a moment.

“Do you, do you still want to come with me to pick up the tree?” she asked but there was less volume in her voice. Keith glanced up at her with an unsure expression on his face and then they both looked at Lance. He was still staring outside the window. “I mean, you can stay here if you want. I can ask Luis if--”

“Keith needs a new sim card,” he mumbled.

“Hm?” Rachel asked. “What?”

“I said Keith needs a new sim card,” Lance repeated and snapped back to his cheery self, his voice the usual sing-sang as if he didn’t care about a thing in the world. With a clap in his hands, he turned around. “And I want some ice cream.”

“Yeah, you--” Rachel pressed her lips together to stop herself from talking. Keith risked glancing at her again. She didn’t look disappointed or angry just – surprised. And embarrassed.

“Um, I meet you guys at the car.” She was about to leave when she turned around again, lingering at the door frame for a second. “And you might consider locking the door,” she said quietly, avoiding eye contact with both of them, “there are children on this floor.”

The door shut and Keith and Lance were alone again.

To Keith’s surprise Lance let out a laugh.

“What?”

Lance smiled but there was panic in his face.

“I am so dead, Keith, so dead.”

~~

Getting caught by Rachel was bad but not the end of the world, Keith assured him. Sure, his sister kind of suspected something but it wasn’t like she had caught them in action. They decided to be more careful and to stick to their plan, well, Lance’s plan, of keeping their close relationship a secret.

For now.

Mary and Rachel were waiting at the parking lot in front of the hotel. It was a hot day in Varadero. The sky was blue and cloudless, the sun shined brightly and Keith cursed himself for having forgotten his sunglasses.

“That should be enough,” Mary said and gave her daughter some money. “Good morning Keith, how did you sleep? The beds are new, you know!”

“Very well, very comfortable. Everything is just really nice here.” How many times did he have to repeat how beautiful this hotel was, he asked himself. He liked it, sure, but was this how their small-talks would be from now on? Having to repeat the same things over and over again?

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Mamá, I spoke to Marco this morning,” Rachel said, “he won’t come.”

“He promised.”

“Ma! He’s on a festival, he won’t come home,” she repeated by stressing every syllable. “He said he already told you several times.”

Mary’s eyes welled up.

“I just wanted all of us to be together.”

“It’s Marc, Mom,” Lance said, “what did you expect?”

“Not helpful, Lance,” Rachel snubbed him. “Anyway. It’s stupid to have an empty room so Lance should get it.”

Keith’s eyes darted to Lance. He didn’t say anything but there was some unspoken conversation going on between him and his sister. He couldn’t quite gauge what was being said but it seemed to establish some kind of truce between them.

“Okay, you are right, my dear,” Mary said and kissed her daughter’s cheek, “I hope we can still have a good time together.”

“Mooom, don’t act like Marco’s your favorite son when everyone knows I am.”

Lance fluttered his eyes at her and the tension Mary’s sadness had caused broke away. Even though it was an open joke that made everyone laugh they knew that Lance being the youngest basically made him the one who could get away with pretty much everything at the McClain’s, especially when it came down to his mother.

Keith hoped this optimistic feeling wouldn’t betray them in a few days.

~~

Rachel drove the car, Lance sat shotgun and Keith sat in the middle back seat. Rachel and Lance had a short argument about the radio station they wanted to listen to but otherwise, the drive to the town they were headed to was mostly quiet. An awkwardness lingered in the air. Everyone knew that everyone knew...something.

Keith had no idea how Rachel thought about them. She’d always been the wild one of the family; the one who had moved out with eighteen years to work in bars and coffee shops in Portland, enjoying the party life. Sure she wouldn’t be uncomfortable with her little brother making out with a boy. But walking in on them like that had most certainly left an impression...

Keith leaned forward.

“Rachel, Lance said you’re in business school now. How’s that going?” There was real interest in his question with the new business he owned himself. Currently Shiro’s partner and fiance Adam dealt with most of it but Keith didn’t like to rely on anyone if it wasn’t inevitable.

Rachel met his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Honestly? It’s boring.” She smiled weakly. “But so much has changed in the last years and now my parents need help with the hotel business to keep it running. And I thought why not.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice hotel and--”

“It’s old and ugly,” she interrupted him. “No shame in being honest, Keith. We don’t have the 90s anymore. I told them countless times to change the design and style. Now I finally got mom to agree with me. Give me another week and I have convinced the old man as well.”

“You’re really invested in the hotel, aren’t you?” Lance asked surprised. “I’d never thought you’d find something to care about that much.”

Rachel shrugged.

“Took me a few years longer to figure it out. And I kinda like this place.”

Lance smirked.

“What?” Rachel snapped at him.

“Nothing, it warms my heart to see you being excited about something that isn’t an emo punk rock boy band or whatever.”

She grunted and took her hand off the gear shift to ruffle Lance’s hair.

“Oi!” Lance exclaimed and pushed back her hand. “Not the hair!”

Rachel chuckled.

“Not my territory, huh?”

Keith had the urge to open the door and jump out of the car. Lance blushed slightly and mumbled something under his breath.

“Seriously Lance,” his sister said happily, trying to bring him back into a good mood, “I hate how much I missed you, I honestly hate it.”

Immediately Lance turned around in his seat to flash Keith a smug smile.

“Told you I’m everyone’s favorite.”

Keith rolled his eyes at him but returned the smile. He’d always been fascinated by the McClain sibling’s relationships. Except from Marco, Rachel had always been the one to do her own thing. She hadn’t been very close to the others. Apparently that had changed to some extent. She wasn’t that close as Lance was to Veronica or even Luis but that didn’t make them care less about each other.

Everyone was relieved to leave the car after the one hour drive. The mid-morning sun was hot and the old car didn’t have an AC. They left the car on a parking lot in the town center.

Rachel put on her sunglasses. With her black boots, bright dress and one hell of a confident walk, she led them inside a shop around the next corner. Keith wished he could attend business school with her. She looked like she knew exactly what she wanted and how to get it and he admired her for that.

The sign outside had told them it was a second-hand shop for furniture. It was crowded with old desks, armchairs, couches and even something that looked like an entire kitchen front.

“Hola? Coran?”

The head of an older man with noticeable orange-like hair and a bushy mustache of that same distinguished color appeared from under the cashier desk.

The sudden movement startled Lance and he clung to Keith’s arm.

“Hello? Oh! Rachel!” Coran said with an accent that sounded similar to British and pulled himself up. “Welcome!”

“Jeez, where did he come from?” Lance hissed.

“From under the table, young man,” Coran said without missing a beat.

“Alright,” Lance mumbled and shared a confused look with Keith who just shrugged.

“That’s my brother, by the way, Lance, and his friend Keith. Coran,” Rachel said urgently, “please tell me you got the Christmas Tree?”

Coran hesitated a moment.

“The what?”

“The tree I asked you to order? For my parent’s hotel? Green tall fir? For Christmas?”

“Ahh”, the man exclaimed. “You mean the Abies Nordmanniana or,“ he raised one finger, “el abeto del Cáucaso. Why didn’t you say so?”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “I thought I’d go easy on you and speak English instead of Spanish or Latin.”

“Come, I’ll show you and then we can talk about the price.”

“We already talked about the price!”

“Then let’s do it again.” His eyes sparkled. “It was so much fun to bargain with you. Come along.” He disappeared in the back room.

Lance eyed his sister cautiously. “Please tell me that’s not another word for--”

Rachel let out an annoyed huff.

“Oh my God, Lance. That’s one of my business school professors.” She was about to follow Coran but stopped for a moment. “I should have known you two have a dirty mind.” She winked at them with a knowing sparkle in her eyes.

“Good job, Lance,” Keith deadpanned when they were alone, “dragging me into your mess.”

“How could I have known? What kind of person has fun bargaining?” Lance defended himself, his voice an octave higher than usual.

“I will kiss you if you shut up for five seconds,” Keith offered.

“Ha! Ten seconds.”

“Three.”

“Deal! Wait what--”

He was cut short by Keith’s hands pulling his face into a sudden kiss. Lance’s hands clasped around his waist, holding him firmly.

“But who won?” Lance mumbled against Keith’s lips.

Keith sighed with exaggeration.

“What? It’s a legit question.”

“It’s like a purchase,” Keith explained and leaned up for another kiss. “You bought a kiss for shutting up three seconds.”

“Oh, so that was indeed a good deal. I won,” Lance whispered, his lips stealing another kiss.

“You know exactly what bargaining means,” Keith stated.

“Of course,” Lance said and snickered into Keith’s neck, “but I love it when you explain things to me.” Keith felt Lance’s arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“You love it?”

“Hmh,” Lance hummed, “because it shows me how you see this world.”

“And how do I see the world?”

Lance leaned back to look at his boyfriend and tilted his head.

“Realistic, I guess.”

Keith could hear the blood rushing through his hears. This conversation had turned from sweet nonsense to Keith’s way of thinking and this was a topic too close to the emotions and feelings he tried to control.

“And how do _you_ see the world?” Keith asked back.

Lance chuckled and bumped their noses together.

“I can’t see the world with your beautiful face blocking everything.”

Kissing was difficult with Keith smiling so brightly. He didn’t know how Lance was able to come up with cheesy lines like these but he was absolutely down for them.

 

“Ahh, young love. Blooming everywhere like a flower in the desert.”

Keith and Lance broke apart, hands hastily letting go of each other. Coran smiled at them, carrying the lighter upper part of the Christmas Tree into the shop. Rachel followed him, much slower because the branches of the rest of the tree kept hitting her in the face.

“Urgh,” she grunted and let the heavy stub hit the ground, making Coran stumble. “Can the young blooming love maybe help us carrying that bloody thing into the car?”

Lance's ears were burning red but he was immediately at her side, followed by Keith. The three of them said goodbye to Coran and carried the enormous tree to the parking lot.

“This will never fit,” Keith said skeptically and eyed the tree and the open trunk.

Both Rachel and Lance tsked.

“Do you think it’s not,, realistic?” Lance teased him.

“Just you wait,” Rachel said. “Lance, do your magic.”

A few minutes later the tree was indeed in the car although more than half of it hang out of the trunk. Lance had secured it with rope and a red flag.

“See?” he said exhausted and clapped the dirt off his hands. “It fits.”

“You call this fitting? One bump and the tree falls out.”

“See these ropes? They hold it, Keith!”

“Holding, yeah, but it doesn’t _fit_ ”, he said with air quotes.

“What does it matter? It’s _in_ the car.”

“It hangs _out of_ the car. Your imprecise estimation of length is alarming.”

“Well, never heard you complaining about any length before so...”

For a beat Keith stopped the banter, then he huffed. With his fingertips he smacked against Lance’s chest. This boy was ridiculous and he was ridiculously in love with him.

“Oh, oh,” Lance faked to be intimidated and hold up his hands in surrender.

“You are unbelievable,” Keith laughed, “stop that.”

They heard a cough.

They had forgotten about Rachel. She had sat on a bench to take in the sun but she’s been in hearing distance all along.

“Done?” she simply asked. Her eyes were covered by her black sunglasses.

Keith was beyond embarrassed and the blush in Lance’s face spread down to his neck.

“Um, we, um, still need the sim card,” he said and pointed with his finger in a direction that didn’t make any sense.

“Then hurry,” she said impatiently and waved them away, leaning back on the bench to get more sun on her.

Keith and Lance exchanged a look and then walked back to the shops on the street.

“Oh God,” Lance sighed as soon as they were around the next corner.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. There was nothing to do about it anymore. They both knew that The Talk™ between Lance and Rachel was inevitable now.

They hadn’t even managed to make it to noon on the first day without someone noticing that they were indeed not the childhood friends they used to be. Although that part was still there, the additional layer of their relationship - the romantic love, affection, the urge to touch each other – was impossible to hide.

Without lingering much they bought a Cuban sim card for Keith’s phone, a milkshake for Lance and a juice for Keith.

 

No one in the car talked. Keith was squeezed on the back seat next to the tree and glanced skeptically at the ropes. The only sound came from Lance slurping his milkshake. The tension in the car was almost tangible and Keith just wished someone would say something to get it all over with.

“So,” Rachel suddenly said. “Lance.”

Keith watched Lance straighten himself somewhat.

“Hm?” he hummed.

“I guess your milkshake brings everyone to the yard then?”

The slurping sound stopped. Oh God, here it came. Keith wanted to nudge him to say something. But he didn’t say a single word. Lance’s right hand appeared in the space between the door and backseat, feeling for Keith.

Keith took a deep breath. He knew what that meant. It happened more often in stressful situations. Carefully he touched Lance’s fingertips. Lance was close to losing his grip on reality.

Every time either of them had reversed time in the last months, it had left a disturbance in the universe and in their minds. The bad pictures and nightmares of each other dying were one thing. Keith had only seen Lance getting shot once and this horrible picture still followed him into his dreams. Although Lance had told him about every situation he'd seen Keith and his friend Pidge die, he couldn’t even imagine how hard it had to be for his boyfriend to have actually lived through all this.

And when Lance had got kidnapped and Keith came to free him...they had to use both of their powers to defeat Acxa and Haggar. Their powers had overlapped, it was a blur to both of them now. Within a couple of maybe minutes or hours (who could tell?) several realities had manifested, got reversed, were repeated and got changed. Later they had tried to recapture the happenings of this night but it was impossible. They only remembered the last reality, the ultimate outcome, the one that had counted in the end and shaped the future they were living in now. Both of them knew they had died and saved each other again that night but the pictures of things unhappened were lost forever.

The feelings had stayed though. Feelings neither of them had a picture to.

Keith dealt with it much better than Lance. Sometimes Lance touched him, took his hand, grasped his arm all of the sudden and whispered “Did this happen before?” or “Did I change something?” And Keith was there for him to soothe him, to calm him, to reassure him that everything was real and counted.

“What, now you’re getting shy, baby brother?” Rachel teased him.

Keith wished she would just shut up for a moment and give Lance some time. Then Keith felt her eyes on him in the rearview mirror.

“He brought you to his yard, didn’t he?” she asked casually.

“Uhh, I--” Keith began, feeling completely helpless. How could Rachel involve him in Lance’s coming out, that wasn’t--

“Keith is lactose-intolerant,” Lance said and withdrew his fingers from Keith.

There was a silence again and Keith wished he could telepathically ask Lance where the fuck he was heading with this.

“I see,” Rachel said.

“So, you know, I had to put some lactose-free milkshakes up there, too.”

“How did that work?”

Keith was just staring at them both. Was this really a conversation they were having? Using lyrics of a song he barely knew. Lance turned around. His eyes looked weak and there was an uncertainty in them; he hadn’t quite found back yet to the ground under his feet; he was still unsure about his surroundings but he tried.

And smiled at Keith.

Keith tilted his head to ask if he was okay and Lance nodded reassuringly.

“It worked pretty well.”

“Awww,” came from Rachel.

Was that it, Keith asked himself, was it over? Was that--

“How long are you together?” She glanced at Keith with a warm smile. “I mean, if you’re together. I just guessed so. Or is it something casual?” Keith tried to relax. Apparently that was it. That simple. That easy. No yelling. No weird questions. Huh.

Lance kept smiling at him and waited for him to answer Rachel’s question.

“No, we’re, um, together. About, uh, less than three months,” Keith answered.

“Ohhh, that explains a lot,” Rachel laughed. “You’re very bad at that hiding thing.”

“We’re not!” Lance replied loudly.

“We kinda are, though,” Keith admitted and bit his lips.

“Yeah, okay, we’re bloody awful,” Lance agreed without missing a beat.

 

The drive was quiet but good. Rachel didn’t ask many questions and they found themselves in comfortable silence with some good music on the radio. After Rachel had parked the car in front of the hotel, she turned to her brother.

“You’re gonna tell mom and dad?”

Lance exhaled and nervously rubbed his thighs. “That’s the plan. Christmas Eve.”

She nodded.

“Cool.”

Then she gave him a clap on his shoulder.

“You got this, Lance, okay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“And I mean both of you.” She smiled at Keith. “It will be fine.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not at home this weekend so the next chapter will definitely take some more time, lol. and speaking of keith's lock screen, may I link you to some art? my friend drew this inspired by the first part of the fic so I just had to make it "canon" :D >> [fanfic inspired art inspires fanfic aka keith's lock screen (and mine btw)](https://www.instagram.com/p/BpSatJaB34t/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)


	4. Circus Of Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a lot on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content notes: thoughts about missing a dead parent; PTSD; some minor violence; food
> 
> Had a not-so-great week with bad news and read an unhealthy amount of fanfics to cope but alas, I'm finally back in the writing mood. This entire fic will probably turn out longer than I had expected because the main stuff I want to tell hasn't even happened yet and we crossed 20k already, whoops. Can't wait for Veronica to arrive on Christmas Eve...

###  **Circus Of Your Mind**

 

**Still 22nd December.**

Lance had been right when he had predicted they wouldn’t have much time alone with each other during their vacation. As soon as they had entered the hotel, they were given chores to decorate the tree, the lobby and the breakfast room.

At least their trip to get the Christmas Tree this morning had been successful in more than one way. Not being able to leave their hands and lips off each other, Rachel had quickly caught on that Keith's and Lance's relationship was different than the one they had shared as children. After an initial tentativeness, she wasn’t shy to address the elephant in the room. Long story short: it went well. More than that, actually. Not only did Lance come out to her, but he had also left it to Keith to validate their relationship. Keith had been the one to confirm that they were a couple.

And he had liked the feeling this action had given him.

Telling someone of Lance’s family that he was his boyfriend, and Lance giving him both trust and power to say it out loud, had brought back some much-needed self-confidence.

The preparations for Christmas were disorganized and chaotic and Keith secretly loved it. Against his protest they had appointed him the head decorator of the Christmas Tree and although he was afraid he might ruin it, he had a lot of fun rummaging through old boxes to find the right ornaments. Even Cuba's hot weather couldn't stop the Christmas mood creeping up on him. The others passed by now and then, shouting commands at each other, carrying festive dishware or trying to stop the children from standing in the way. It seems to Keith that he was in the middle of a hurricane, only minding his own business.

He started with the fairy lights, continued with red and gold Christmas baubles and was now busy with the details.

“Hey gorgeous.”

Keith turned around. Lance stood in front of the ladder and smirked up at him. Keith’s eyes scanned the lobby but they were alone.

“Hey handsome,” he replied and tilted his head. “How does it look?”

“Oh, stunning, beautiful, breathtaking.”

“The tree, Lance.”

Lance shrugged.

“I wouldn't date it...just kidding. You did a good job, Keith.”

“Good. Are you here to help me?”

“Actually I was on my way to help Luis but I can stay for a minute.”

There was a somber expression on Keith’s face when he pointed at a box on the ground.

“Pass me, um, pass me the lametta, please.”

“The what?”

“Uh, the tinsel? The silver thin strips? Kinda shimmery?”

Lance gave him some strips and Keith spread them evenly on the branches.

“What’s that supposed to be?” Lance asked. “It looks weird.”

“It’s supposed to be icicles. I don’t know if you remember but my, um, mom used to decorate our tree with it,” Keith said without turning around. “I had no idea this stuff still existed. The package is like fifteen years old.”

Lance hummed.

Keith didn’t know why a throbbing pain seemed to radiate from his heart. Well, no, that was a lie, he knew. It reminded him of his childhood. When he was little and helped his mother decorating their own Christmas Tree. They always had one at home even if it was never bigger than little Keith because they hadn't been able to afford a taller one.

His mom had loved lametta even though no one he knew had used that outdated tree ornament. Sometimes she had weaved some strips into her short hair and Keith had thought she looked like a space alien princess of a science fiction fairy tale.

“That’s fancy,” Lance said and Keith turned around. Lance had wrapped a strip clumsily around his head, eyeing it approvingly. “I like it. It gives me disco vibes.”

Keith had to swallow hard. He felt something building up inside him. With shaky knees he climbed down the ladder to stand before Lance.

“I bet it suits you, too,” Lance said ingeniously, took another strip and weaved it with much patience into Keith’s hair. “Told ya.”

“Really pretty,” Rachel said ironically as she was passing by carrying plates with Christmas motives, followed by her little nephew Sylvio wearing a Santa hat.

Lance giggled but stopped when he saw Keith’s expression.

“What’s wrong? I thought you liked it.”

Keith shook his head and pointed at the lametta packaging.

“Turn it around and read it.”

Lance did so.

“From...Krolia to Mary. Feliz Navidad.”

He looked back at Keith.

“That’s from your mom?” he asked quietly.

Keith nodded.

“Wow, that’s...that’s...nice?”

Keith nodded again.

“Are you okay?”

Keith shook his head and looked at his feet. He knew his eyes filled with tears but he didn’t want Lance to see him cry. Although a tiny part told him to just let go. It was Lance.

Lance softly touched his arms.

“Hey, hey,” he hushed. Gently he put a finger on Keith’s chin and tilted his head back up. “Do you want to do something else?”

“No,” Keith said quietly. “It’s just been a while that I had to think of her that much is all. And to see her handwriting...I just. I don't know. It reminded me of her.”

And all the things he never had the chance to tell her. Not only the big changes in his life, about his former foster parents, about the foundation he owned, the life-threatening last months or even him being in love with Lance. It was the little things, too. That he didn’t hate mushrooms anymore. That he recently had seen a documentary about coral reefs that amazed him and wanted to show her. That he liked his coffee black because milk foam was one of the worst things ever (in his honest opinion).

All these damn little things.

Keith forced himself to smile.

“I’m alright.”

Lance nodded.

“Can I do something for you? Anything?”

“No, I’m fine, really. I finish this and maybe later we can do something together? Just the two of us?” Maybe until then he would have built up the courage to talk to him about the things that occupied his mind. Things that scared him. Things Lance of all people in his life should know about.

“Of course.”

Lance checked the lobby again. They were still alone. He put a hand on Keith’s cheek and pressed his lips firmly against Keith’s. The kiss was longer than Keith had expected, open in the lobby where his family could walk in any second, and he cherished every second. He missed this. Them being themselves. Together. Really together.

Although Lance used to describe himself as naive, Keith thought he might mistake it sometimes for courage. Because Lance was brave in his heart. And he didn't kiss him in the most public place of the hotel because he was so naive to think no one could walk in any second, no, he kissed him because he was brave.

“I’ll see you later,” Lance whispered.

“Later,” Keith replied, his eyes following his boyfriend leaving the room.

~~

In the end, Lance hadn’t been able to get out some alone time for him and Keith. His family was always around him, occupying him all the time, making up for the time he wasn't with them. And Keith understood it. He did.

But it still hurt if he was honest to himself. He knew Lance wasn’t his property, no, that was not the issue. Every time Lance distanced himself from him, for whatever absolutely comprehensible reason, his fear grew. The fear these might be the last days for them to be a couple. No matter how often Lance had already told him that he won’t leave him, no matter how his family would react, it hadn’t sunk in. It nagged at him whenever Lance left him alone in a room, following Luis around, talking about some video game he knew nothing about. It nagged at him when Lance sat across the room eating an apple instead of sitting next to him. It nagged at him when Lance asked him to get the cellar keys from Miguel ("I'm with Luis in the supermarket, I meet you later") as if it was perfectly normal for Keith to ask his boyfriend's father for some keys to get more Christmas decoration from their own cellar. After all, Keith thought, he was a guest in this house. He wasn't family, free to move around in places someone like him wasn't supposed to be. But Lance treated him like that. Like family. And then again, he did not. All afternoon Lance was so far away, Keith almost felt invisible. He felt like a nuisance. Something Lance wanted to shake off.

He sat outside near the hotel’s pool on a beach chair and watched Lance goofing around with a chain of lights to entertain the little children. Now and then he flashed a smile at Keith and he forced himself to smile back. That was all he'd got for the last few hours. Some smiles. Sometimes he was part of a conversation and actually talked a few sentences with him. But it was all shallow, so very shallow. He tried to remind himself that this was all an act, just an act for Lance to build up the courage to tell his family about them. Like the courage Keith needed to tell Lance about the things on his own mind. 

He looked at Lance. He wasn't going to leave me, he told himself. Everything would be fine.

Why do you have so little faith, Lance had asked him months ago when they had talked about the moments Keith had turned back time to fix things he thought he had broken. Now he felt like he was the broken one, nothing to fix except himself. An impossible task. Maybe Lance had gotten sick of him already.

Why do I have so little faith, Keith asked himself when Mary and Miguel walked out of the hotel and answered his question with their appearance.

Lance wasn’t Veronica.

He watched Mary nudging Miguel who handed Lance a thick envelope.

It was all very new to Lance.

Lance grinned at his father and hugged him.

Family meant everything to Lance.

Miguel clapped him on his back.

More than Keith?

Keith’s eyes locked with Mary’s for a brief moment. She looked a bit strained.

He gave her a polite smile.

She smiled back.

The parents walked back inside.

Keith exhaled.

Everything was so exhausting.

He took out his phone. Thankfully the sim card worked and Lance had fixed the WiFi by simply restarting the router. Like he had said: the old people problem. Technical stuff just stopped working around old people, waiting to get fixed by their younger children. A universal law, Lance had explained.

Keith started typing.

keith: how are your holiday preparations going?

shay: hi keith! the christmas tree on the diner fell down, can u believe it?! I mean we all laughed but thank god no one got hurt.

keith: oh wow!

Keith had become friends with Shay. Which had been unexpected to both of them. But ever since Keith had played wingman for Hunk which had led to Hunk and Shay dating, the four (or five with Pidge) hang out quite a lot. Keith and Shay had been in the same class before he had got expelled, they both grew up in Arcadia Bay and didn’t go to college like the others – they bonded quickly, especially whenever the others started talking about college-related things. It took him a while to notice how uncomfortable Shay got whenever their talk focused on their academical future. Sure, she had finished high school but she didn’t attend college or university and she didn’t plan to. She worked at the local diner. Keith had been kicked out of high school and even though he was basically rich now, Shay started to turn to him in moments like this, engaging him in conversations about their hometown or other things only the two of them knew about.

It had also taken a while for Keith to become aware that they had a friendship on their own. Not through Lance, no, they had bonded by themselves. Soon they started to hang out together. Accompanying each other to appointments they didn’t like to do alone, like doctor’s visits, visits to the authorities or even buying Christmas presents together. And Keith had become the one Shay turned to when she wanted to gush or complain about Hunk. After a while Keith opened up to her a bit more. Not only about safe newspaper topics but about his own thoughts and worries.

shay: how’s cuba? :)

keith: warm.

keith: it’s nice.

shay: but?

keith: but what?

shay: keith...seriously.

keith: lance hasn’t told them yet.

shay: and it’s making you nervous?

keith: I guess.

Was he nervous? The problem about his nervousness was that it got quickly transformed into annoyance and then anger. And anger was a feeling that refused to be tamed, no matter how much logic he tried to apply.

shay: but he will tell them, right?

keith: yes, christmas eve when veronica is here

keith: it’s just

keith: I don’t know

keith: he’s more distant.

keith: it's not his fault, he's with his family and all

keith: he got a lot on his mind

keith: but

keith: what if he won’t tell them about us.

keith: or if they hate me.

keith: or him.

shay: hate is a strong word, keith. listen, they don’t hate veronica. they won’t hate lance. and they won’t hate you. ok? they already know you and like you.

shay: can I give you some very obvious advice?

keith: yes

shay: talk to lance. tell him how it makes you feel. you should give him more credit, you know he listens to you. and no “but what if’s” again, keith. 

 

Keith sighed. Of course she was right. His text conversation got interrupted by Lance who had walked up to him. Sylvio and Nadia had been collected by their mother to get changed for dinner.

“Heya, what’cha doing?” Lance asked and dropped down in a beach chair next to him. “Sorry about, you know.” He worried his lip and quickly looked around. “That we don’t have more time alone. You know my family...”

“Yeah,” Keith said. “I’m texting with Shay.”

“How is she?”

“Good. The Christmas Tree fell off the diner.”

“WHAT? How did that happen?”

“I don’t know. No one got hit though.”

Lance chuckled.

“Lance?”

“Hm?”

I’m scared your parents will hate us. I’m scared to tell you about my superpower. I’m scared we won’t spend the night together. I’m scared I will screw things up with you. I’m scared you will break up with me. I’m scared you will stop loving me.

“What did you father give you?”

Lance looked at the envelope in his hand.

“Oh, um, nothing. It’s nothing.”

“If you...need money--”

“Keith!” Lance exclaimed and started laughing. “You’re not my sugar daddy, oh my god. Or do you want to be?” He winked at him. “And no, it wasn’t money.” His eyes sparkled. “It’s actually for you.”

Keith furrowed his brows. Lance’s dad gave Lance something for Keith!?

“What is it?”

Lance shook his head.

“Nope, nope, it’s part of your Christmas present. You will see soon enough.”

“Huh.”

Lance tilted his head and smiled at him. The soft look in his eyes washed over Keith like a warm blanket and made his cheek tingle. Why was he so far away. As if Lance had heard his thoughts, he shifted his chair closer to Keith, turned to him and lay his hand on his shoulder. Keith pressed his cheek against his hand.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Lance said and got up.

As soon as they had reached the empty second floor, Lance took Keith’s hand and their fingers interlocked playfully. It wasn’t a long walk from the staircase to Keith’s room but they had both missed the carefree touching of each other. The feeling of being invincible wherever they were.

In front of the door Lance opened the envelope. Keith couldn’t see what else was inside but one item was a key.

“Marco’s key,” Lance whispered. “I’m staying here.”

Keith’s head began to spin. Lance, Lance was about to stay here tonight, in a room just next to his, they would be able to sleep in one bed, Lance would be with him.

Without any hesitation or a look back, Keith leaned forward and kissed him so forcefully their teeth clacked together.

“Ouch,” Lance winced and put his hands on Keith’s chest to stop the forceful nature his boyfriend tended to be sometimes.

“Sorry.”

“My room or yours?” Lance asked seductively, clinging his fingers on Keith’s waistband to pull him close again.

“Hmmm, I don’t care,” Keith mumbled and leaned in for another kiss. This time he held back, only loosely draping his arms on Lance's shoulders. Kissing Lance and being kissed by Lance came with a dangerous attribute: it made him careless and indifferent to the existence of the rest of the world. Apparently his boyfriend felt similar because when they both heard a harrumph from the other side of the floor, their lips parted only reluctantly.

Rachel stood in the door of her room and pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

“Hi,” she said with a tired voice, “it’s just me, as usual.”

“Hi Rachel~” Lance said dreamily and Keith felt Lance’s arms on his back pulling him into an embrace. “Look who I found in a diner in Oregon.”

Keith couldn’t help himself but press his forehead against Lance’s shoulder and chuckle. There wasn’t even a hint of fear or anxiety in Lance’s voice or body. That's how he wanted things to be like, just like that.

“He's cute. I intend to keep him.”

“I thought so,” Rachel said.

Keith still pressed his forehead against Lance’s shoulder, not wanting to look at Rachel because feeling Lance’s close like this was just so much better. He felt Lance’s breath close his ear and it made him shiver. Goosebumps appeared on his arms. Lance hummed with content. 

“Oh my god, get a room, guys.”

“We have two now and can’t decide, that’s the problem at hand.”

Rachel let out a laugh.

“I can’t believe no one else has noticed you two fools yet.”

“Because we’re sneaky.”

“No, you’re just incredibly lucky.” She paused. “Maybe you should tell them earlier,” Rachel suggested quietly. Keith noticed some kind of worry in her voice. He turned his head around to look at her. She had pressed her lips together, giving Lance a long and silent stare.

“I’m just waiting for the right moment,” Lance said, “you know, when Veronica’s here.”

“And that’s the right moment for both of you?” Rachel asked, her eyes briefly glancing at Keith.

“Sure.”

Keith felt his heart flicker because no, there was no right moment. Just a moment. But still a moment Lance had to choose.

“Alright.” She raised one finger. “But I won’t cover or lie for you.”

“You won’t have to, I swear,” Lance said.

~~

It was early evening when the family got together for dinner. Usually they’d eat much later but everyone had worked hard to decorate the hotel, run errands for the upcoming big Christmas dinner and even finished first preparations for the New Year’s Eve party.

The McClains and Keith sat at the big table in the breakfast room. Keith realized that it was the first moment they had all come together in one place. The food was delicious, the talk very light and enjoyable – even for Keith who mostly listened - and Mary had just served some churros, coffee and hot chocolate for dessert. Everyone was in a good mood.

“Speaking of the hotel business, I heard you have your own business now, Keith?”

Keith’s eyes darted up at Luis who smiled at him. “I can’t believe you’re the owner. Remember how much we hated them, dad?” He turned to his father who didn’t say a word. "Remember, dad?" Miguel huffed and shook his head but Luis kept talking. “And now it’s yours! The Galra Foundation! Ha! Justice at last!”

Luis' enthusiasm weirded him out.

"It’s called Kogane foundation. It’s something new.” He felt a bit uncomfortable with this topic because he knew how much money trouble the McClains had with their hotel and he really didn’t want anybody to see him as a judgmental rich person. And yeah, the foundation did have a bad reputation thanks to Zarkon. The much-needed re-branding process was still ongoing, thank you very much.

“I read one article about how you want to take a different direction with the investments, more like in the foundation's old days, invest in social projects and other things than, uhm...”

“My father?”

“Yeah...”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to sugarcoat it.” He looked around. Everyone was looking at him, pretending not to be that curious as they actually were. He was tired that everyone hated his father. Not because it wasn't justified, no, he of all people should know it best. But the effort he had to put into the conversations to defend his foundation - because it was his own now - it drained him. Everyone thought they'd do him a favor by calling out Zarkon, by hating on him but the truth was: it didn't do any good for Keith. He wanted it to be over. There was nothing good on the paternal side of his family tree. He got it. People had told him often enough. He knew. But they always expected him to agree with them. So he did. Just to make them stop.

“It's really not a secret. Zarkon’s my father, tried to kill me and now he’s in jail.”

Lance’s father almost knocked over his glass of water, his hand shaking so wildly Mary had to take it. Lisa coughed and gave Keith a meaningful look with a side glance to their children sitting next to her who just stared at him with wide eyes.

“Oh. Sorry. I guess that’s not...a topic for--”

“And it’s not even that interesting,” Lance immediately cut him off and saved him, “you should tell them about your investment plans! Listen to this, Luis, Keith is actually brilliant! To no one’s surprise.” He gave his boyfriend an encouraging smile.

Keith nodded thankfully and told them everything about the future of the wealthy foundation he owned. That was a topic close to his heart and Luis, Rachel and even Lance’s father asked him questions he was happy to answer. And Lance did his best to direct the questions to topics he knew Keith was comfortable with. Now and then Keith managed to gave Lance a smile – a thanks for his attention and effort, even forgetting that their relationship was still under cover. The sudden return of their familiar closeness made him excited and he let his guards down. He bumped his shoulder against Lance's, let his eyes relax when he looked at him, pressed his thighs against his. Only when Lance hit him with a “yo dude” in his shoulder like some no-homo-gesture he realized that he might have shown too much of his true self in front of the family. He quickly tried to rebuild the wall inside him, piece by piece, but he didn't manage to finish it.

“There’s even a picture of Keith with the mayor of Portland hanging in the Two Whales,” Lance kept talking. “Everyone wants a piece of him.” He clapped Keith on his shoulder again, then squeezed it harder than necessary. The two of them shared a brief but intense look. Lance’s eyes basically screamed ‘but he’s all mine’ and Keith had to avert his gaze. Lance and his piercing look, Lance making Keith the middle of his universe...was one of those things Keith enjoyed way too much. It always pulled the rug out from under his feet. Sure, Shiro cared about him, too. Loved him as well. They were family.

But Lance...it was different, of course it was. Lance was his equal. They were friends, a team and lovers. They belonged together. Only the two of them.

“Everyone wants a piece of him?” Luis repeated with a chuckle. “So I guess that makes you the most eligible bachelor of Arcadia Bay. I bet the girls are waiting in line for you, right?” He laughed and nudged his elbow against his father's arm. "Too bad Veronica isn't available."

"And not interested," Rachel added.

"Yeah, sure, I meant hypothetically," Luis babbled, "with the right age and all. Anyway. Girls. So, how is it?" He leaned forward with a curious look on his face.

Well, this got awkward pretty quickly, Keith’s mind stated blankly. He could feel the nervousness of one suddenly very quiet Lance beside him. Rachel stared down at her plate. To his own surprise he wasn’t nervous or scared.

Just one thousand percent annoyed. His heart beat strong and he stopped himself before he was able to let out a dismissive grunt to comment on this situation. Some anger lit up like a flame inside his chest but he only half-heartedly tried to extinguish the fire.

“Um, I wouldn’t know about any girls,” Keith said slowly but determined to keep his voice neutral and emotionless. He didn’t want to lie, by the love of the entire universe, he didn’t want to lie.

“What? No girls? Oh, sorry, you have a girlfriend?”

Everyone was quiet. Mary already eyed him strangely and he most certainly didn’t want to look at Lance.

Keith cleared his throat.

He didn’t want to lie.

And frankly my dear, he wasn’t going to.

“Actually, I have a boyfriend.”

The rush of anger and stubbornness made his hands shake slightly. He took his cup of coffee in both hands and took a long long very long sip like the longest sip ever in the history of very long sips waiting for someone to say anything no matter what just any comment would be alright please--

“Oh,” Luis said, the first one of them to break the enormous silence that had been thrown over the table like a blanket threatening to suffocate them all. “So you’re, okay, yeah.” He started nodding and didn't seem to be able to stop. “Alright. So, ha, and he’s, eh, alright with you staying with us? The, um, boyfriend? Not the jealous type?” He chuckled nervously, a rather hopeless try to lighten the mood.

“He’s fine with it,” Keith simply said. No harm done, he thought. And if they judged him for being gay, then they could fuck off. Keith’s thoughts were harsh, his body felt tense and heavy like turned to stone and his eyes became a shield. His field of view got restricted: Luis and his intrusive questions were the only things in front of him.

“Ah, great. That’s, um, healthy, you know, doing different things as a couple and all.”

“I guess.”

“So,” Luis continued, “Lance, do you know him? The boyfriend?”

In this moment there was a loud clinking sound and a startled gasp.

“Oh shit,” Rachel shouted and jumped up from her chair. “I knocked over my glass, sorry. That was clumsy of me.” Her glass rolled across the table, spilling water over the tablecloth and some leftover food.

A groan went through the room, the children giggled entertained. Mary was already on her way into the kitchen to get a towel. Rachel threw a piercing look at Keith when she followed her.

“I take this as a sign to get the children to bed,” Lisa said, took Sylvio and Nadia on their hands and left the room. "Good night."

Keith’s mind tried to catch up with the situation. He’d been prepared to defend himself for his sexual orientation but then Rachel’s...fake accident had distracted him. And it had been fake, there was no doubt about it, a distraction just to get Lance out of this situation.

Rachel got back and wordlessly cleaned the table.

Keith felt Lance’s presence next to him. Slowly he realized what he had done. He had outed himself in front of Lance’s family, even telling them he had a boyfriend. Shit. He couldn’t even imagine how Lance had to feel right now. Betrayed? He took a deep breath and tried to gather some courage to look at him.

Then he turned around his head.

Lance didn’t say a word. He stared at some random point on the table in front of him, his hands neatly folded in front of his stomach. He didn’t move. Keith wasn’t even sure if he blinked. Oh god, what if Lance was slipping again, not knowing what was real and what not? And Keith had caused it.

His eyes flickered back to Luis and Lance’s dad, the only ones left at the table. Luis was busy checking his phone.

Lance’s dad was very quiet. He looked at Keith. Keith didn’t know if he was about to say something so he tried to hold his gaze. What was the social norm in this situation? Was there even one? When you accidentally but also intentionally come out to your boyfriend’s family before your boyfriend?

Miguel held his gaze a bit longer and Keith couldn’t quite tell what he saw in his eyes. There wasn’t anger – he knew too well about anger to not recognize it when he saw it. No, there was something else. Hurt. Sadness. Worry? Something old.

Without a word Lance’s dad got up and walked out of the room. Luis didn’t even look up. Then Keith felt a hand on his shoulder. Rachel stood behind him and Lance.

“Dinner’s over. I think everyone’s tired.”

Lance got up like in trance, still eerily silent, and Keith wanted to follow his trails...when Rachel held him back.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Keith felt sick. He knew he’d done something wrong, alright, he knew, he didn’t need to get lectured about it, at least by Rachel. Nevertheless he nodded and they both walked out of the hotel to the dimly lit pool area.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and Keith mirrored her pose.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Listen,” she said with a shaky voice, “I don’t know much about coming-outs or boyfriends but I’m pretty sure that - whatever that was - didn’t go well.”

“I didn’t mean--”

“Whatever, Keith. Get a grip. That’s my little brother there. You can’t just do something like that.”

“What was I supposed to say when Luis asked me? Lie?” He snorted angrily and shook his head. “Yeah right, just shove the gays back into the closet so they don’t crowd the straight’s world.”

He didn’t see Rachel’s push coming but felt it when the force of her hands made him stumble back against a beach chair and a table, drawing attention to them and almost made him topple over backwards.

Anger flared in her eyes when she repeatedly poked her finger against his chest.

“Don’t you dare assume that’s what I’m saying! Don’t you dare!”

Keith felt her fingertips already leaving bruises and wanted to push her hand aside but he was too shocked to move. Suddenly she stopped and straightened herself, carefully looking around if someone had seen them. A few guests stared at them from a safe distance and she gave a quick ‘it’s all fine’ wave.

Then she turned back to Keith.

“This is Lance’s coming-out to us, his family,” she hissed, “you better not ruin it just because you couldn’t stand someone assuming you to be straight for less than ten seconds.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Why did you say it then? Tell my family you’re gay and have a boyfriend?” Rachel ran a hand through her hair, obviously trying to contain her anger.

“Because they asked?”

“Fucking hell, they didn’t. Luis just asked about you having a girlfriend, that’s all. You could’ve just said no and move on.”

The realization spread like ice crystals through his body up to his head. Shit. She was right. The tension in his body got released like a balloon losing air, leaving him wobbly on his feet, wobbly cold, oh so cold. Second by second the truth hit him more and more, made him almost stumble again, this time not by physical force but by the dread he felt.

He had screwed up.

Big time.

There were flashes before his eyes, memories of past events he had erased from existence by turning back time. His hands started to shake and everything got blurry, very blurry and quiet, like he was drowning, drowning in an ocean of memories, not being able to tell apart what had happened and what not. Reverse, he needed to reverse it all, right now, but there was a voice in his head telling him to not do it, don’t to it, Keith, just keep breathing, it will be okay, everything will be--

“….okay? Keith? Do you hear me? Are you okay?”

He felt a hand on his arm, someone shaking him.

With a gasp Keith emerged back to the surface of his mind. He was sitting on the ground, Rachel cowering in front of him.

“I fucked up,” he breathed heavily. His eyes flickered between Rachel and his surroundings, unable to focus on something longer than a beat of his racing heart.

“Jesus Christ, Keith,” she exhaled and roughly pulled him up. “Don’t be so fucking dramatic.”

Her words were like a bucket of ice water thrown over his face.

“Yeah, it was fucking stupid,” Rachel kept talking, “can’t argue that but Lance needs you now.” She eyed him carefully. “I didn’t take you for one to freak out that easily, honestly. Are you okay?”

Keith’s heartbeat began to steady itself and he nodded.

“I’m so sorry, fuck, I...that was so selfish.”

“Well, you can pity yourself later. Please do me a favor and go to Lance," she said, "I’m worried about him.”

“It's all my fault, oh god.”

“Ah, calm the fuck down. Lance has turned to a pillar of salt and you just collapsed in front of me like a sack of potatoes.” Rachel still had her hand on his arm. A soothing gesture. "Seriously, how do the two of you even manage to stay alive?"

Keith laughed grimly. Rachel wasn't the most empathetic person in this situation but her ruthlessness and honesty were surprisingly helpful to get him out of his bad headspace.

"Trust me. You don't wanna know."

"I guess I don't." She bit her lip for a moment. "Listen, I’m sorry I went all protective sister and, um, pushed you.”

“I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t,” she insisted. “You have every right to be yourself and I respect that. Everyone should. I just care a lot about Lance. And I’ve seen what happened when Veronica told us she was a lesbian. I was there, okay? Fuck, I still wanna kick myself for my reaction back then. I don't know how I deserved to be forgiven. But it’s stuck in my head, sorry. It’s just...” She sighed. “I want it to be good. For him. I just want it to be--”

“Perfect.”

“Yeah.”

They looked at each other, suddenly having found their common ground again.

“It’s never perfect,” Keith said bitterly.

“I wish it was though,” she whispered. "And I'm gonna do anything that's necessary to make it good. Will you help me?"

Anything that was necessary, Keith repeated in his head. 

Anything.

This word carried a heavy meaning.

"Yeah. Anything."

“So we’re alright?” she asked and held out her hand.

“We are,” Keith said and took her hand for a handshake of truce. “And, um, thank you for saving the situation.” He pointed at the wet parts of her dress.

“I’m just glad I didn’t have any red wine tonight,” she said with a weak smile.

Keith chuckled nervously.

“Now go kiss my brother or whatever. Make him happy and all. And don’t worry about my family. Not tonight. Leave the damage control to me.”

“Thanks, Rachel. Good night.”

“Night!”

~~

Keith had to resist the urge to run through the lobby but he did walk as briskly as he was able to without looking as spooked as he felt.

“Hey,” a voice called for him from behind when he was about to take the first step of the staircase. Keith turned around.

“Hey, Keith,” Luis said and grimaced. “Um, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have...you know, put you in the spotlight like that. I didn’t know you were...you know.”

Oh my fucking god, the word is gay, Keith thought.

“Ah, don’t worry, I’m used to it.”

Luis looked a bit startled and Keith cursed himself. That came out very bitter. Well, he felt that way but he didn’t want to let it out on Lance’s family.

“To be put in the spotlight, I mean,” he added with a forced smile. “With all the journalists back home. It’s good training.”

Luis’ face relaxed and he smiled back, visibly relieved.

“Good. I mean, sorry nevertheless!”

“Apology accepted.”

Luis hesitated for a second and then patted him on his back.

“Good night, Keith.”

“Yeah, good night.”

Keith hurried upstairs.

When he arrived in front of Marco’s aka now Lance’s room, he stopped. He wondered how much time had passed between Luis asking about him having a girlfriend and this moment. Five minutes? Or even less? He softly touched the door with his fingertips. What if he--

He shook his head.

It was intriguing though. Turning back time. Saying “no, I don’t have a girlfriend, Luis.” and then thanking Mary for the lovely dinner. He took some deep breaths and reminded himself of his promise to Lance. No time reversing, no changes. Quickly he rapped at the door before he could change his mind.

There was a grunt and Keith took it as a sign to enter.

Keith had expected everything: Lance lying on the bed, motionless. Lance sitting on the cold bathroom floor. Lance silently staring outside the window.

Instead.

“Oh, it’s you,” Lance greeted him with a smile, sitting cross-legged on the bed with his phone in his hand. “Hunk says hi. He has a new board game he wants us to play when we’re back. Sounds pretty dope, everyone has--”

“Lance.”

“Hm?”

Keith stepped towards the bed and scanned Lance’s eyes that looked right back at him. Lance looked a bit dizzy. Blinking faster than usual. Not being able to focus on something longer than a moment. Keith sighed. The same thing had hit him only a few moments ago. Some aftershocks of their time-reversing side effects caused by stress.

Although Lance's stupor from before was gone his body was still acting up. Most of the time he'd got quiet. Him being chatty was new.

“Are you alright?”

“Yup,” he said and nodded wildly. “So about that game--”

“Lance,” Keith repeated urgently and sat down next to him. “Can we talk about what just happened, please?” His voice was barely audible.

“What? You telling everyone you have a boyfriend back home? What’s there to talk about?” He shrugged and looked back at his phone.

Keith stared at him. What. Something was off, something was very off. Lance sounded very...emotionless. Not even cold just...empty?

“I didn’t mean to tell them. But then I did.”

“Yeah, you did.”

Lance didn’t look up. Keith swallowed hard, his mouth was dry. He kept looking at Lance but he didn’t acknowledge him. It hurt. His heart beat faster again and something icy was making its way through his body again.

Was this a fight. Was this the beginning of the end. He should reverse it, shouldn’t he. Turn it back, make it unhappen. Everything would be so much easier. No. No, he couldn’t do that. He heard Shay’s words in his mind. _Talk to him._

“How, how do you feel about that?” Keith asked, pushing down the cold hand inside him that tried to squeeze his mind again. Not now, not when he had to talk to Lance.

“I was surprised. Then angry. Then scared. Then shocked,” Lance listed as if he had to recite the ingredients of a recipe.

“What are you now?” Keith asked carefully.

“Still angry.”

Keith took a deep breath.

“Lance. I am so sorry. You have every right to be angry at me. I mean, not that you need permission or anything. It wasn’t my place to say that. I was selfish, making it about me.”

Finally Lance looked up.

“No, I’m...I’m not angry you said it.” His voice got back something of an emotion. His face relaxed and showed his true feelings. Sadness. Exhaustion. Pieces of anger.

“I don’t understand?”

Lance rocked his upper body back and forth, biting his cheeks.

“I’m angry that you...don’t have a problem saying you’re gay. Which means I am angry at myself for...for being a coward. You just, you just say things like that, like. Hey, I am gay and all. And I’m here, making all this fuzz about something that you do so...effortlessly. So, in conclusion, I am angry at myself because I’m a stupid coward.”

"Oh." Keith took Lance’s hand. It was cold as ice. “First of all: Don’t say stupid and don’t call yourself a coward.”

Lance huffed.

“Come on.”

Keith moved to sit next to Lance and they leaned back against the wall, Keith’s arm around Lance’s shoulder.

“It’s your family. Of course it’s not easy. It wasn’t easy when I told my foster parents.”

“Do you...”

“What?”

“No, forget it.”

“What?”

Lance squeezed his hand.

“Do you wish your mom knew? About you being gay?”

The question send a numbness through Keith’s body he tried to ignore.

“That’s not even that important to me,” he said and pressed a kiss on Lance’s head. “But I wish she knew how much I love you. And how happy I am to be with you.” He knew his voice cracked at the end of the sentence but Lance didn’t comment on that.

“I want my mom to know that, too. And dad. And the others.”

"You will tell them when you're ready and I will be right beside you."

Lance snuggled closer to him and Keith just held him for a while in his arms. So he wasn’t angry at him. Not really. Okay, maybe a bit and he probably wouldn’t tell Keith. He'd understand it. But what matters now was lying in his arms. A cuddly Lance. They were okay. They were actually okay. Keith wanted to open the window and shout it out loud. _Hey, we are okay._

“How are you now?” Keith asked after some minutes. “I mean...” He softly touched Lance’s forehead.

“I had worse attacks,” Lance whispered. “I was too upset for it to get to me, kind of. You?”

Keith closed his eyes.

“Worse than usual.”

“Oh.” Lance turned around. “How?”

Keith opened his eyes and looked at the young man in his arms. _Talk to him._

“The more stressed I am, the worse it gets. And I...I was so scared when I realized what I said,” he started slowly. _Talk to him._

“Scared? That they--”

“That you.”

“That I what?”

“That you would hate me.”

Lance sat up straight and leaned his hands against Keith’s shoulders.

“Hate you?? Why??”

Keith shrugged.

“Because of what I said.”

“You’re not making much sense right now, Kogane,” Lance said and increased the pressure on Keith's shoulders.

Keith sighed. Just say it, he told himself.

“I’m scared I might do something wrong. Something so very wrong that you...”

“That I what? Can you please talk in coherent sentences.”

“Jeez. I’m scared you might break up with me.”

Lance gaped at him in irritation, then he broke out into short laughter.

“I knew you’d laugh about it,” Keith mumbled and wanted to turn away from Lance but the other held him back.

“Sorry. No, wait, I am sorry.” Lance bumped his shoulder back at Keith to sit next to him. “Shit. I know, okay. I do know you, Keith. Sorry I laughed. It’s been a stressful evening.” He took back his hand. “I told you I won’t leave you. I can't believe you're still thinking that. Please don't tell me that's actually on your mind!"

Keith didn't know what to say and dropped his gaze.

"Keith," Lance said with eyes wide open, his voice all stern, "do you, do you really think I will break up with you?"

Keith shrugged weakly. He looked up to Lance - he looked heart-broken.

"I'm sorry," Keith breathed. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry, dude."

"Did you just call me dude?"

"Stop saying you're sorry, love of my life."

Keith tried to smile.

"That's a sad fake smile, I deserve better," Lance teased him, leaned closer to him and bit in Keith's earlobe.

"Ouch. That hurt, what the fuck?"

"Now we're even."

"Even?"

"You told my family you're gay and have a boyfriend in Arcadia Bay, seriously Keith, who is that guy, is it Adam? Does Shiro know? Are there more boyfriends? I am very jealous, you know." He started pressing random kisses on Keith's face. "Tell me. You're an eligible bachelor. Do I even stand a chance?"

"Stop that," Keith laughed, "that tickles."

"Now THAT is a real smile. I can work with that."

The spell of the night broke. Lance pushed them both down on the bed so they lay next to each other, looking into each other's eyes. The rapid blinking of Lance's eyes had slowed down, Keith noticed. 

"So. You're still planning to tell your family?" 

"Absolutely."

“But what if-”

“Oh my god, stop it right now, I’m not doing the what if’s again.” Lance softly pinched Keith's earlobe.

Keith pressed his lips together.

“No, sorry again, I’m not good at this right now,” Lance kept on, his eyes looking tired, “what if what?”

“It’s fine, we can stop.”

“Keith. Indulge me. What if what?”

“What if...your coming-out...what if it doesn’t go well?”

Lance fell quiet. Then he shrugged with his whole upper body.

“Can’t be worse than Veronica’s coming-out. And if it’s worse, I’m gonna pray the universe does one of its little tricks.”

Keith stared at him. What.

“Haha,” Lance deadpanned. “Can we go to bed now?” He turned around to lay on his back.

Keith tried to relax, pushing Lance’s statement about the universe far back into his head. 

“My bed or yours?”

“Mine. So I won’t have to move,” Lance said with a wicked smile.

“Alright. I’m gonna get changed.”

Keith stood up and walked to the door.

“Oh Keith.”

“Yeah?” He turned around.

“I’m really glad you told me. What's on your mind and all. You can always tell me stuff like that, you know."

Keith smiled at him.

“I know.”

Did he though?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rachel constantly surprises me and I'm glad I finally got to mention Keith's and Shay's friendship <3 
> 
> The next chapter will have more fluff and Lance will finally take Keith to the beach, I promise. And someone else talks to Keith about his past - and personally I am excited about it. But I'm excited about everything. I almost spilled half my bathwater earlier when I had a plot-revelation, punched against the wall of the bathtub and yelled "I fucking knew it!" (which was a lie; it hadn't even crossed my mind yet. Shouting it was nice though.)
> 
> Thanks for reading my stuff :) I'm always happy about comments, here or on Tumblaaa (worstmissionever). If you're able to read a wild mix of German/English and want to follow me on Twitter, send me a message.


	5. No Me Diga (Tell Me Something I Don't Know)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised Keith and Lance spend some time at the beach - but not quite as they had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got carried away, lmao. AGAIN. 
> 
> content notes: food; homophobic vibes

###  **No Me Diga (Tell Me Something I Don't Know)**

 

 **23rd December.**  

Keith woke up entangled with Lance’s limbs, or more precisely with Lance’s whole body. For a moment he thought he had four legs and four arms with Lance’s head resting on his chest and his limbs clutching to Keith in a chaotic way. Never before in the last few years of his life had Keith felt more secure than in moments like this – with Lance so close to him in bed right after he’d woken up. It was a precious time of sheer bliss when his mind wasn’t occupied with anything else than feeling Lance in his arms.

It was almost like his mind had forgotten about his fear his boyfriend might leave him if his family didn’t approve of them. No, no, in fact his mind suddenly seemed to _know_ how irrational this fear was. Lance loved him. That calm and steady breathing human loved him so much. And Keith loved him back. And no one could ever tear them apart.

With the utmost caution, he reached for his phone to check the time. 09:30 am. They were about to miss breakfast. Although it hadn’t been late when they’d gone to bed, it had taken some time for them to fall asleep. They had talked, mostly. And kissed. Gosh, there had been an unhealthy amount of kissing to make up for everything that had happened the day before. He wrapped his arms firmly around Lance, knowing that his touch was about to wake him up.

The brown haired boy shifted his body and grunted as predicted. “What time is it?”

“Half past nine,” Keith said, gently stroking Lance’s back. “We should probably get up.”

Lance tilted his head up to him. His eyelids were heavy, his hair was the loveliest mess and a dopey smile was on his lips.

“Beach day,” he said happily.

~~

When they walked down to the hotel’s little kitchen to get some breakfast, they found it empty. No McClain to be seen. They made some simple scrambled eggs with bacon. Lance sat on the kitchen counter, Keith leaned against it, both of them eating in a comfortable silence.

Then they heard steps and voices coming towards the kitchen. The relaxed atmosphere shifted to something tenser. The harsh end of yesterday’s dinner was still lingering on their minds, both unsure how things were about to go on.

Mary appeared in the door frame with some bags of groceries, followed by Luis. She abruptly slowed down, making Luis almost run into her.

“Buenas dias,” she said, sounding extra polite, and gave her youngest son a kiss on the cheek. Luis just nodded.

Keith and Lance greeted back. Keith wasn’t particularly fond of Luis since yesterday and also Lance’s reaction to him had changed a bit. He’d always been his second favorite sibling after Veronica but Luis’ questions and reaction to Keith last night seemed to have thrown him off.

“I’m showing Keith the beach and maybe la Cueva de Ambrosio, we’ll probably be back in the late afternoon,” Lance said and got some snacks and two bottles of water out of a cupboard to stuff them into a backpack.

“Oh,” Mary said and looked back at Luis who...actually raised both eyebrows at her. Not subtle enough for Keith to go unnoticed. What the living hell. “Maybe, um--”

“Rachel?” Luis suggested.

“Si, you should ask Rachel if she wants to join you,” Lance’s mother said, “she needs a break. She’s always working so hard, that poor girl.”

“Rachel? I guess we could ask her, right?” Lance said to Keith with a smile and hopped back on the counter to continue his breakfast.

Keith meanwhile just stared at him. Was he really not getting what both of them were trying to do?

“Didn’t she say she had to study for an upcoming business exam,” Keith replied, his answer directed only at Lance, fully aware that he went straight against Mary and Luis’ attempt to send a chaperone with them. As if they were scared Keith might seduce their son and brother. Anger spread inside him, his heart was pumping that forceful feeling through his whole body to reach every inch of him. If they only knew. He wished they’d know already. How many times Lance had told him he loved him. All the sweet things Lance whispered in his ear between kisses. Every touch they’d ever shared. He wanted to shove it all into their faces. In his mind he saw himself walking up to his boyfriend, smash the plate he was holding into the sink next to him and kiss him right here and now with Lance forcefully kissing him back.

No, Keith. No.

“Oh, yeah,” Lance remembered and Keith tried to dismiss the picture he had just painted in his head. “She explicitly told me to fuck off - her words, mom, not mine - when I met her in the hallway this morning.”

“Beach, huh? Well then...can you take the kids? Lisa’s meeting a friend later and I was gonna help mamá.” Luis avoided looking at Keith, he avoided it so much that Keith wondered what might have changed after yesterday’s apology. He’d probably googled what gay people did behind closed doors, Keith thought bitterly.

“And they really miss their uncle,” Luis added and prompted Lance to smile fondly. “You’re gonna take good care of them, aren’t you, Lance?”

Keith wanted to give his boyfriend a nice clap against the back of his head. Now Lance didn’t get a babysitter but had become one. Brilliant.

“Aww, of course, Luis,” he said.

“That is a lovely idea,” Mary said.

Keith clenched his teeth together.

“I forgot my phone, I’ll be right back,” he pressed out and left the kitchen. He couldn’t stand to be around them for one second longer. He had been this close to do something extremely impulsive again, like last night. Only worse.

Around the corner he almost ran into Miguel. Just perfect, he thought, what a perfect day. To his surprise Miguel acted a whole lot different kind of weird: he smiled at him.

It didn’t look fake.

“Good morning,” Miguel said and even tilted his head as if he was looking at a child and not a twenty-year-old man owning several million dollars in a foundation, “where are we running to, hm?”

“Um, getting my phone. Lance and I, he wanted to show me the beach and, um, some cave. I thought I take some pictures?”

“Ask him to show you the one with the bats. You will like that one best, I just know.” He winked at him with both eyes, clapped him on his shoulder and continued his walk.

And left a dumbfounded Keith in the lobby. What happened to this family?

~~

Lance waited outside the hotel with his backpack on his shoulders and his nephew and niece impatiently hopping around him.

“Let’s go, gang!” Lance said, gave Keith some finger guns, the children a high-five and lead the way down the path to the beach. It wasn’t a long walk and as soon as the ocean was in sight, the children ran up to the water. The waves were small and the water shallow, not threatening at all. Nadia squeaked with excitement and Sylvio held her hand while they were trying to outrun the little waves.

Lance and Keith sat down on the beach to watch them. The sand was warm under their bare feet. This area of the beach wasn’t crowded. Only a few tourists enjoyed themselves in the warm ocean or sunbathed on beach towels. Some teenagers blasted music through their phone, playing soccer in a safe distance.

“So much for being alone,” Keith said with a look at the children.

“Still better than being around Luis,” Lance said and worried his lip. He looked distressed. “I didn’t expect him to be like...that.”

“So you know what he was trying to do?” Keith asked cautiously. Maybe Lance hadn’t been that oblivious after all. It surprised Keith that Lance’s ability to wear a mask in front of his family had been that well developed. He’d even managed to fool him.

“D’uh,” Lance answered simply.

“I was surprised he hadn’t already mobilized an army to go with us in case I might turn you gay,” Keith joked lamely.

“Well that is a superpower one can only dream of,” Lance laughed and put his hand on Keith’s. “And I can’t exclude that you do not already have that power.”

“You mean I awoke your bisexuality?”

“No, you bewitched me.”

“Shut up.”

“How you lay there seductively on the floor~”

“In a public toilet, Lance.”

“You tilted your head so adorably~”

“I was bleeding on one side!”

“Smiling at me~”

“I had a concussion!”

“Aww. Don’t you mean you were love struck when you saw me?”

Lance squinted his eyes and grinned broadly at him, nudging his head against Keith’s shoulder like a playful puppy. Keith ruffled his soft hair to make him stop but Lance being Lance took it for encouragement. It was good that they were able to talk about past traumatic events with a lot of humor. Sometimes it was hard though but they knew each other well enough to recognize moments like that. But right now on this beach, nothing could dampen their spirit.

Almost nothing.

The children were engaged in their game with the ocean and no one minded when Lance rested his head on Keith’s shoulder. Keith hesitated before he put his arm around Lance’s back. For a moment he didn’t dare to breathe. After Luis and Mary’s reaction only a few minutes ago he somehow expected a bolt of lightning coming down from heaven to strike him if he even touched their golden boy in the simplest way. No such thing happened.

“You said you talked to Rachel this morning?”

“Yeah, for like a minute.”

“Did she say anything...about yesterday?” Did she mention anything about yelling at me, he wanted to ask.

“She said she got my back. And that Luis was a shithead.” His voice got quiet. “I didn’t know he was like that, Keith.” It was the second time he’d said it. “I mean, I know he laughed about, you know, gay jokes and all. Heck, even I thought they were funny when I was younger, you know, before Veronica came out and helped me to understand things. But I mean who didn’t?”

“Um, I didn’t laugh about jokes like that.” Lance raised his head to look at Keith. “I was thirteen when I knew I liked boys. I only laughed with others because I had no choice.”

“Oh.” A certain kind of look appeared on Lance’s face, a look Keith only knew too well. A look of Lance being disappointed by himself for doing something wrong he hadn’t known about. Even if it was something about his long gone past self.

“Hey, it’s not your fault you laughed about it when the people around you did the same,” Keith explained. “You were young. You didn’t know better. And fuck, I wasn’t a saint either, Lance. You won’t find a single person in this world who does everything right in their youth. That’s what growing up means. You fuck things up and never stop learning. Hopefully.”

“Gosh, why are you so smart?”

Keith blushed.

He’d never been good at school, especially after his mother had died, and the connection of intelligence and good school grades was still rooted in his head in a way he couldn’t get rid off. And after he’d got expelled and didn’t have a chance to finish high school, well...he didn’t consider himself a bright light.

“I am not,” he replied automatically. “I don’t even have a degree.”

“Listen. Just because someone doesn’t have studied physics or anything, doesn’t mean they’re not smart. It’s so obvious if you think about it. So you may not be a physicist but you are one hell of a boss with your own foundation.”

"Physics? That is a weird comparison."

"It's about the point I am trying to make! You got it?"

Keith shrugged.

“Adam’s handling everything. And others. I don’t do anything. I have no idea what they’re all doing to keep this place running.”

“Wow, much short-selling, Keith,” Lance said with some well measured aggression in his voice. “A very famous journalist once said ‘Being boss doesn’t mean you have all the answers, just the brains to recognize the right one when you hear it.’ And she is absolutely right about it. You make the calls. It’s always your vote that matters. You came up with the ideas of how you want to change where the money goes. That’s all you. These people work for you. And yes, they’re damn good at their jobs and they have to be. Because they know how much you care about your foundation. You’re fucking smart, Keith, that’s what you are.”

Keith exhaled the breath he now realized he’d been holding when Lance ranted about him.

“Thanks,” he said quietly and wanted to kiss him but he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not in public near the children. “I still feel like a kid with anger issues most of the time though.”

“What, you have anger issues? Wow, I didn’t know that,” Lance deadpanned.

“Fuck you,” Keith said with a smile and punched his shoulder.

“But back to Luis. What do I do when he says something like that again? Or acts weird.”

“You can call him out.”

Lance let his fingers trail through the sand. “I don’t know if I...can,” he said slowly. “Not yet.”

“I can do it if you want,” Keith offered. Keith would be more than willing to start a fight with that man. (But only if Lance approved, of course...)

“I don’t know. I don’t want to upset anyone.”

“Lance,” Keith said firmly, “you don’t wanna upset homophobic people?”

“My family isn’t homophobic!”

Keith inhaled sharply. He saw it in Lance’s defensive eyes that he seemed to cling to a picture of his family that might not agree with reality.

Lance sighed and retracted.

“No, shit, you’re right. Luis might have some...prejudices. He always had. Even with Veronica. I wasn’t there when she came out, she made me stay in my room, but...I know he didn’t take it well. I mean no one did at first.”

Keith didn’t know if he should ask it but it preyed on his mind. And for Lance to come out tomorrow he definitely had to be prepared for this topic so he might as well direct their conversation towards it.

“What...about your mother?”

“Mom?”

“She seemed to agree with Luis this morning,” Keith said carefully. “On some degree.”

Lance stared at the sand in front of him.

“She spends a lot of time with Luis lately,” he whispered. “He’s in between jobs right now and he and Lisa will move closer to Varadero this spring. I mean, mamá loves to be around their grandchildren and all and she’s excited about it. Luis helps them a lot, too.”

Lance hadn’t answered his question but his evasive answer said enough about his insecurity. Keith remembered their first meeting at the airport, how welcomed he had felt. How Mary had hugged him and squeezed his hand. Did that all just vanish after him telling the family he was gay? He almost couldn’t believe it. Then again, he could.

“You said your mother accepts Veronica and her fiancee.”

“She does. She invited them both just like us.” They were silent for a moment. “But I think it will be different for her when it’s me. I don’t know. Can we talk about something else?”

“Of course.”

Lance took two good whole minutes to collect himself and Keith just let him be, watching the children splashing in the warm water. Then he lifted his head to look at Keith.

“Keith?”

“Hm?”

“I’m excited for you to meet Vero.” A smile appeared on his lips. “To introduce you as my boyfriend in person. I really wanna say that. _My_ boyfriend. You’re _my_ boyfriend. It’s silly, I know...Wait, why are you...what is that fucking grin supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Kogane.”

“Well,” Keith said and leaned back with his hands supporting his upper body, a superior grin on his face, staring at Lance without batting an eye, “considering I fell in love with you when I was thirteen and cried to her about it, it is a major success story that I managed to quote-unquote _bewitch you_ six years later and will now spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve with Lance McClain, actual boyfriend of Keith Kogane.”

“I am your boyfriend property?”

“You bet you are.”

Lance moved his face closer to Keith’s, their noses almost touching.

“I like it when you’re like that,” Lance whispered.

“Like what?”

“Just like that.” He moved even closer and their noses touched. “And now kiss me.”

Keith’s eyes flickered down to Lance’s lips and up to his eyes again. He turned around his head to see if the children were watching them but Lance stopped his head from moving and pushed it right back to him.

“I need you to kiss me, babe,” he urged him.

Lance calling him a pet name made him officially weak.

So Keith leaned forward and pressed their lips together, trying to blend out that they were in a public place. Their kisses were chaste and careful until Lance’s impatient lips made him abandon all caution. He took Lance’s face in his hands to deepen the kiss.

For a splinter of a second he let his eyelids flutter open to take in their surroundings, the fact that they were on a lovely beach by the ocean, a warm sun shining above them, the sound of the waves accompanied by the laughter of the children, the smell of salt in the air. He closed his eyes again and smiled into the kiss. Lance chuckled, ended the kiss with a loud smacker and leaned back. There was a light blush on his cheeks and Keith couldn’t stop staring at him, adoring this absolutely perfect human in front of him.

“Tío, I’m thirsty.” With a thump the little girl dropped down next to them. She squinted her eyes against the brightness of the sun and ran impatiently her hands through the sand. “Pleaaaase!”

Lance managed to take his eyes off Keith to pass Nadia her pink water bottle.

“Are you having fun?” Lance asked. Nadia nodded, looking genuinely happy.

“Can we walk up that way?” Sylvio asked and pointed in the direction up the peninsula. “There are better stones up there.”

“Sure thing,” Lance said. He and Keith shared a quick look. Maybe they hadn’t seen their kiss or they didn’t care. Whatever it was, it didn’t seem to freak out Lance and Keith was just grateful for that.

~~

They didn’t walk fast with the little four-year-old girl and the eight-year-old boy who had to stop every two feet to inspect a new stone he had found.

Keith didn’t mind. He watched Lance talking to Sylvio about what a good stone had supposed to look like and enjoyed the water of the Golf Of Mexico washing around his ankles.

When Nadia begged Lance to carry her on his shoulders, he took her up and invented a game of him being a horse carrying a famous ocean scientist on her mission to discover unknown creatures of the sea, pretending to run away from the waves carrying monsters and all. Nadia absolutely adored his uncle.

Sylvio fell back next to Keith and for a few seconds, they walked in silence. Keith wasn’t used to be around children but he knew he had to overcome his discomfort and be the grown-up in this situation. How hard could it be to talk to a child, even if it was Luis’ son.

“So, did you find any good stones?”

Sylvio reached inside the bag he had thrown around his shoulders and got out one particular stone.

“I found this one.” He gave it Keith for an inspection. “Lance says it looks like a cow but I’m not so sure.”

Keith chuckled.

“Me neither.”

That stone didn’t look anything like a cow. He weighed it in his hand – it had a good size, not too small and not to big. It shimmered in a turquoise color and had no sharp edges. He liked it.

“You know,” he said, “Lance was obsessed with finding a stone that looked like a cow when we were younger. One time he found one that actually came close to it but only because it had white and black spots on it. It looked more like a T-Rex if you ask me. But don’t tell him that. Back then I agreed with him.”

“Hahaha. I told him the same. I said it looked like a cow. But it doesn’t.”

“No, it doesn’t. It’s very pretty though.”

“You and Lance were best friends when we lived in Oregon, right?” Sylvio asked curiously.

“Yes, we were. I mean, we still are.”

“But why didn’t you visit us earlier?”

Keith glanced at Lance somewhere in front of him. He didn’t know how honest he was allowed to be with Sylvio. What was appropriate and what not. But he also didn’t want to call for Lance. He’d figure it out by himself. Trust his guts for once.

“Lance and I, we had lost contact. Cuba and Oregon are very far away and it was hard to stay, um, close. He had new friends here and I had new friends back home.” Which was a lie. “Sometimes we texted each other but it was impossible to visit, it cost a lot of money neither of us had. But then Lance came back to study in Arcadia Bay and last September we met again.”

“Cool. I can’t remember anything from Oregon, I was still a baby.”

“But I remember you,” Keith said, “I even remember the day you were born.”

“You do?”

“I was 12 and Lance ran all the way to my house to come and get me so that I could see you. It took him a minute to calm down before he was able to speak because he was so out of breath. Instead he tried to explain it to me like a mime, you know? With hands and feet. And I pretended I didn’t get it. He kept pointing at his belly and all and I was like ‘are you hungry’ and even gave him a cookie.”

Keith broke out into laughter. The memory of that moment hit him so strongly, he had to press his hand against his mouth to calm down.

“What? What?” Sylvio asked, his curiosity doubled at Keith’s reaction.

“He, oh my God, he was so mad at me,” Keith said, trying to catch his breath again, “he actually knocked the cookie out of my hand. And in that moment my, um, mother came into the room and yelled at Lance for throwing food on the ground. He just glared at me, trying to breathe. It was hilarious.”

Sylvio smiled at him but said nothing. Keith realized he still held the stone in his hand, his fingers absentmindedly running over the smooth surface.

“You should keep it even though it doesn’t look like a cow,” he said and gave him the stone back. “He was so proud to be an uncle,” he continued, smiling to himself. “He kept telling eeeeveryone at school that he’d become an uncle. I don’t think there was a single person in Arcadia Bay who didn’t know about you.”

Sylvio looked up at him and laughed in delight. His eyes were sparkling and he forgot about the other stones on the ground.

“I didn’t know that! Tell me more!”

“What do you want to know?”

“What games did Lance play when he was as old as me?”

Keith didn’t have to think long about that one.

“We played Space Explorers.”

“What’s that?”

“Imagine this isn’t Varadero Playa but the beach of a foreign alien planet. You don’t know if the water is real water or acid so you need a stick to test it. If the stick burns then you can’t touch it.”

Sylvio’s mouth gaped open as he stared at the water next to him, unconsciously taking a step closer to Keith.

“See these people?” Keith pointed at Lance and Nadia, walking in front of them. “Are these friendly aliens?”

“I don’t know,” Sylvio whispered, already fully engaged in the game. “We should be careful.”

“We should. But thankfully this time I know they are good ones. Mostly you start observing them first, see if they act strangely, and then you and your partner have to agree on how to move on.”

“And Lance was your partner? Like Kirk and Spock, right? They explore space too!”

“Yeah, almost like that. But neither of us was a captain, we had both the same rank.”

“Tell me more! Please.”

Sylvio was riveted by Keith’s retelling of his childhood stories with Lance. His eyes were glued to this man who had walked into his grandparents' hotel only two days ago but seemed to know everything about his favorite uncle as a child. And Keith loved gushing to someone about Lance, telling Sylvio funny things Lance had done, pranks on his parents, the two of them building a giant sandcastle or getting into trouble for trying to adopt a puppy.

After a while Lance took Nadia off his shoulders and walked towards them.

“We’re going to the restrooms up in the beach café. Do you need to go, too?” Lance asked Sylvio who shook his head.

“You?” he asked Keith with a wink.

“No, thanks, Lance,” he answered and rolled his eyes.

Sylvio and Keith sat down on an empty bench in the shade and waited.

“Keith,” Sylvio said, suddenly a lot more cautious than before. “So...you are...you’re,” he looked around to see if someone was close to them and lowered his voice, “you know.”

Oh no, not the children, too, Keith thought. What did Luis or Lisa tell them? Keith tried to stay calm. It was a child. Just a child. He didn’t know better.

“Hmm, I am what exactly?” Keith asked nevertheless, keeping a blank face. He did have a bad feeling to have a conversation about his sexual orientation with someone else’s child but then again – if he asked? He wasn’t about to lie to a child just because his parents seem to have a problem with him.

Sylvio shuffled closer and put a hand behind Keith’s ear. He could feel the young boy’s nervous breath when he whispered into his ear.

“You’re, like, rich?”

Keith leaned back and stared at him. Big curious blue eyes stared right back at him. He pressed his lips together to not let out the laughter that tried to creep up from his stomach. He’d make it his mission to never laugh about a child asking a serious question. But Luis’ son asking about him being rich rather than about him being openly gay? That was...oh my dear, that was worth a chuckle.

“Um. I have a business that has a lot of money. It’s not really my own, like, I don’t spend it on expensive cars or--”

“--spaceships!”

Keith smiled. He liked that boy.

“Yeah, I don’t do that. I try to help people or, hm, other companies that need the money. And when they do something good with it and happen to make money themselves, they give me something back. So I can support more people and all. You understand?”

“Like when mom and dad gave me a bike so that I can help my friend delivering newspapers. She’s sixteen and sometimes buys me ice cream!”

“Yeah, like that!”

Okay, he wanted to adopt that boy.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Fire away.”

“Are you like Veronica?”

Keith’s face froze for a moment.

“Like Veronica?”

“But with boys. Are you a homosexual?”

The way he said the last word, almost hidden in a low whisper, made Keith’s heart ache. He said it like it was a bad thing, like something people shouldn’t be talking about. Luis’ influence, Keith guessed. Or his environment in general. He smiled weakly at the young boy.

“Yeah, Sylvio. I am gay. You don’t need to whisper though. It’s not a bad thing or something to hide, it’s just, um, different than your mom and dad are. I like men. Like, I fall in love with men instead of women.”

Keep it simple, keep it light, he thought.

“What’s that like?” The question came so rapidly, Keith wondered if Sylvio had thought about some conversation like this before.

“Um. Not any different than liking girls. You know, there are also people who like both girls and boys.” Or other genders. But he didn’t want to get into that now. He knew Sylvio was only asking these questions because Lance and his sister weren’t around.

“Okay. But when did you know?”

Keith pressed his lips together. Sylvio was honestly curious about this topic and seemed to hurry, trying to ask as many questions as possible before the others were back.

“Do you know what falling in love means?”

“Of course. That’s when two people like each other very very much and it’s better than friendship.”

Keith wrinkled his forehead. He wouldn’t have enough time to explain what was wrong or too shallow with this definition so he cut it rather short.

“Um no, love isn’t better than friendship, it’s something else. Friendship and love are equally important and have the same value, sometimes they overlap.” Keith hesitated for a moment. He didn’t know if the boy even understood what he was telling him but at least he listened attentively. “What I’m trying to say is...loving someone, like, um, your parents do, that is a special feeling.” Sylvio nodded. “So we’re talking about that kind of feeling, right? Well, I was thirteen when I fell in love for the first time. And it happened to be with a boy. That’s when I knew.”

“Did he like you back?”

Keith saw the cliff he was heading towards. He saw it but he didn’t know how to stop at this point. He prepared himself to jump out of the figurative car any minute if the questions became too intrusive.

“Eventually he did, yes.”

The questions kept flying towards him.

“And now he is your boyfriend?”

“Yes, he’s my boyfriend.”

“And best friend?”

“Of course.”

“So you kiss each other?”

“Yes.”

“And you love each other?”

“Yes, very much.”

“Will you marry him?”

Keith couldn’t suppress some very nervous laughter.

“Well, we’re not…we just got together, that’s a bit too early to say. And I’m only twenty. I know this may sound strange to you but that’s still considered to be young.”

“Veronica is twenty-two and gets married. So you’re gonna get married in two years, yes?” Sylvio urged him again.

“We’ll see, okay,” he said, suddenly feeling giddy. “I mean, I hope so, to be honest.”

Sylvio smiled at him, his face showing honest excitement and Keith’s heart beat fast at the idea of someone of Lance’s family being excited about him getting married. Even if that someone didn’t know about that additional fact of Lance being the groom in question.

He dared to relax when the storm of question rapidly came to a stop. As much fun as spending time with him had been, he wished Lance would come back and join them. As if it had been his signal he and Nadia appeared next to them.

“We’re back.”

“That took long.”

Lance just shrugged. “Yeah, I called Rachel. She’s headed this way with the car.”

“Did something happen?”

“Oh no, she takes them shopping with her. Cause I just thought we...um...could eat something on our way to the cave. Just the two of us.”

“You’re going to the bat cave?” Sylvio whined. “I wanna come with you.”

“Ohh Sylvio,” Lance sighed, “you took away the surprise! Keith didn’t know about the bats.”

Keith chuckled. “Your father already told me about it.”

“My father told you about the bat cave?” Lance asked with a low voice, almost sounding like Batman himself. “When?”

“This morning. We had a short talk in the lobby and I said you wanted to show me some cave. He said I’d like the one with the bats the most.”

Lance scratched his chin.

“He said that?”

Keith nodded.

“Yeah, he was very nice to me,” he said and put some meaning into his words. It hadn’t been a lie, Miguel had actually been kind. Lance eyed him, still torn, but then he a smile appeared on his lips. Maybe they had misjudged Miguel.

A few minutes later Rachel arrived and took the children with her without complaining. Keith had a feeling that Lance might have told her about the reason they had tagged along in the first place.

“You wanted to eat something?” Keith asked when the car was out of sight. It was afternoon already and the midday sun burned on their heads.

“Yep, follow me.”

They walked about five minutes until they got to a small Italian place.

“Italian? In Cuba?” Keith asked. “Isn’t that something you shouldn’t do as a tourist? Eating food you can get at home?”

“Oh come on, you get enough Cuban cuisine from mom, I just wanna eat a pizza, please? And they have the best lemonades in Varadero. That’s as important as seeing the beach. It’s a local treasure.”

“If you say so.”

Despite being lunchtime they were lucky and got seated very quickly. Their table was under a sunshade in a garden surrounded by palms and other trees, some flowers blooming next to them. The guests were mostly tourists and Keith liked that. To be surrounded by strangers for once who didn’t care about them.

They ordered two strawberry lemonades, a pizza for Lance and a vegetable chicken menu for Keith. The drinks were delicious, the food very tasty and the warmth made them lazy. After the waiter had cleared the empty plates off their table, they ordered two more lemonades to stay a bit longer. Keith swirled his straw around the ice cubes in his drink, Lance leaned back in his seat, his eyes blinking slowly. For some time they just existed in the same space, eavesdropping on other people’s conversations, grinning at each other at some weird remarks. It really did feel like a vacation, Keith thought.

Then Lance broke the silence.

“Two years, hm?” he asked with a smirk. Keith furrowed his brows, wondering if he had missed some conversation pieces around them he needed for context.

“Two years what?”

“We’re getting married in two years?”

Keith had to cover his face with one hand to hide the blush that definitely spread over his face.

“Oh God, you heard that?” he mumbled.

They had never talked about their wedding before, not even as a joke, not even when Shiro and Adam or Veronica had mentioned their own wedding plans, not once had they shared the idea or possibility of them getting married at some point in the near or far future.

Except when they had been children.

He felt Lance’s hand on his, pushing it down to uncover his face. He looked very amused but Keith didn’t miss Lance’s flushed red ears.

“I liked what you said. I like it a lot.”

Keith full on smiled at him. Lance grinned right back and the fact that he nervously scratched his neck was the cherry on top to make Keith lean across the table to kiss him. Just because they hadn’t talked about it didn’t mean Keith had never thought about it. Oh no. He’d thought about it a lot of times. Lance getting down on one knee to ask him the question of all questions? Or Keith himself getting out a ring box in a quiet moment? Yup, one of his top three dream scenarios.

“Um. Lance. What else did you hear?” Better to come clean now than when it’s too late. He’d thought about it during lunch and decided to tell him.

“Just the question about you getting married. Why?”

“On a scale from 1 to 10: how smart is Sylvio?”

“Sylvio?” Lance huffed. “100. He’s my nephew. Why?”

“Um. When you were gone, he asked me a bunch of questions that ended with the, um, one you heard.”

“Aww, you bonded?”

“Kind of. But that’s not the thing. He asked me about me being gay.”

Lance became very still.

“Like?”

“Well, when did I know I was gay, what it’s like and all. And, um, about my boyfriend.”

“About the one in Arcadia Bay, huh? How did that go? Did you come up with a name yet? Or a hair color? Is he bald? Would you date a bald guy? I think I would. It’s just hair, right? Though I love your weirdly long hair. Oh God, what if I get bald? Would you--”

“Lance.”

Keith stared at the glass of lemonade in front of him.

“I wasn’t finished. Sylvio asked me things and...you have to understand,” he said and pressed the palms of his hands together, almost pleading at Lance, “Sylvio’s questions, it was like rapid fire, I didn’t have much time to think.”

“Keith. What did you say?” Lance asked alarmed.

“He might have asked if my boyfriend was also my best friend. I might have said yes.”

Lance stared at him for a second. Then he smiled, visible relief spreading across his face and leaned back in his seat, exhaling the breath he had been holding.

“Oh, and I thought you had said something.”

“Lance. He knows we’re best friends.”

“Pff, well, yes, but no,” Lance dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

“Meaning?”

“He can’t possibly think that you mean me.”

“Why not?”

“Because. Why should he?”

Keith squinted at Lance.

“Lance. I _told_ him. I told him we were best friends. And he already knew. And then he explicitly asked me if my boyfriend was also my best friend. You just confirmed he is smart. Why on earth shouldn’t he make this connection on his own?”

“He’s not Sherlock.”

“He’s a child. Children are even more perceptive. And what if he saw us kissing.”

“He would have said something.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Lance crossed his arms before his chest and knitted his brows.

“I’m not convinced.”

Keith sighed. Stubborn Lance was a hard match.

“So, you’re like, not mad at me _if_ he somehow knows now?”

He slid his hands across the table towards Lance and eyed him, trying to hide behind the bangs falling into his face.

Lance rolled his eyes but relaxed. He lay one hand on Keith’s in front of him.

“No, I guess I’m not,” he said quietly. “If he saw the kiss – and I don’t say he saw it – it was my fault. I’m not mad, Keith.”

With one hand he gently wiped a strand of Keith’s hair behind his ear.

“But...can you please stop doing that?” His voice was only a whisper and Keith stopped breathing to not miss a word. The look in Lance’s eyes was the same as the night before, full of sadness and exhaustion, it only lacked the anger. “It hurts. If it’s you that tells them and not me. It...makes me feel like a failure. And I will tell them. I promise you, okay.” He took Keith’s hands in his and stared at them. “Just, I don’t know, maybe we should stay closer from now on.” He smiled at Keith, a bit unsure. “So that I can keep an eye on my very impulsive boyfriend.”

Keith nodded.

“Alright.”

It wasn’t a bad solution to stay closer, he thought. Being closer to Lance was always the best thing. But being close to Lance without being as close as he wished to be? Not so much fun. Then again it was only one more day. Tomorrow evening during their dinner Lance was about to come out to his family, introducing Keith as his boyfriend. He could manage to endure this situation one day longer.

“Sorry I did that,” Keith said again.

“I forgive you if you pay for lunch?”

Keith smiled. It was an uneven apology to his accidental coming out and what followed but they both needed some kind of arrangement.

“I’ll even treat you to some ice cream if you like.”

“Waiter!”

~~

Their trip to la Cueva de Ambrosio was a success, mostly because spending time together filled their emotional energy bar to the top again. It was cool in the cave, they saw tiny bats (that thankfully didn’t fly into Keith’s hair...not that he’d been worried...maybe a bit...after Lance had joked about it…) and yes, hold hands all the time. Keith could only agree with what Miguel had said: he liked that cave and took some pictures he wanted to send Shay and Shiro later.

They dawdled on their way home, finding excuses to go into little tourist shops, scanning the sweets sections to get something for Pidge, Hunk and Shay, everything but to avoid getting back to the hotel too early.

It was around 4 pm when they entered the lobby. They didn’t sneak in but they also didn’t announce it much. Mary and Rachel were working at the reception, talking to some guests when they walked by, and more than a “we’re back” Lance didn’t say to them.

Back on the second floor, Lance excused himself from Keith.

“I have to work on a - thing,” he said and tried to sound extra mysteriously.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see...tomorrow.”

They parted after a long hug and a kiss.

Back in his room Keith let himself fall on his bed to send some pictures to Shay and Keith.

 

keith: [pictures sent]

shiro: are these bats?

keith: yes!

shiro: they are..cute?

keith: kind of, yes.

shiro: you had a good day? better than yesterday?

 

Of course he had sent Shiro some texts about the dinner situation after Lance had fallen asleep. He hadn’t mentioned Luis and Mary’s reaction today though – and he didn’t plan to, at least not now. Shiro was already worried enough about him. He wouldn't have a chance to help him anyway. But yes, it had been a good day so far. He hadn’t thought about his hidden superpower since yesterday evening and that was a long period of time he secretly was proud about.

 

keith: definitely. we took a walk on the beach and I talked to lance’s nephew quite a lot. then we had lunch.

 

He briefly thought about mentioning their wedding talk but no. He wanted to tell someone about it but not Shiro and not right now. That was something he wanted to talk to Shay about.

 

keith: and now we just got back from the cave. I hope you and adam are fine?

shiro: we miss you a lot but we’re happy you’re with lance

shiro: and we have a present for you

keith: oh no I told you to not get me anything, I really don’t need anything

shiro: yes you do, it’s for your new apartment and you will love it

keith: okay okay

shiro: :) good.

keith: :)

 

He spent the time reading some emails Adam had forwarded him, every single one beginning with something like “it has time until you’re back, enjoy the vacation” but Keith skimmed through them nevertheless.

At first he’d felt bad to actually take days off from work but Adam assured him more than once that no one judged him for taking a vacation, especially after all that had happened.

“But it’s my foundation, shouldn’t I be around all the time?” he had asked and Adam had taken the time to explain to him what a healthy work schedule and environment had to look like – including days off, no matter how important one's position might be.

An hour later Lance got back to him with a knowing grin on his face. He refused to talk about whatever he had done but enjoyed Keith’s curiosity. They spent the next hour watching YouTube videos together, a wild mix of memes, animal videos and vine compilations Lance loved.

Then there was a knock on the door.

Lance shrugged his shoulders so Keith said loudly: “Come in.”

The door opened.

“Keith?”

Slyvio entered but stopped when he saw Lance sitting next to Keith. He titled his head like he had to solve a difficult math problem. It was obvious he hadn’t expected to find Lance in Keith’s room.

“Come in and close the door,” Lance said and wore his most encouraging smile. His nephew closed the door and walked up to them.

“Um,” he hummed and took out a stone of his pocket. He opened his hand to show it them both. Keith recognized the stone from their walk on the beach. “Tío,” Sylvio said, “this one doesn’t look like a cow.”

“But yes, see, if you look at it from that angle?” Lance turned his head weirdly around. “What do you say, Keith?” He looked up again. “It’s a cow.”

Keith bit his lip. A lot of things had changed between them but the way Lance looked at him with his blue eyes, as if Keith’s approval for that stone to be a cow meant everything, that hadn’t changed.

He turned his eyes to Sylvio and suddenly the boy reminded him a lot of Lance. Asking questions, trying to understand things he didn’t know about, seeking the same approval of those close to him. Like his uncle.

Keith gave the stone a long stare.

“To be honest, I think Sylvio’s right. It doesn’t look like a cow at all.”

Lance huffed.

“But, LOOK!” He pointed at some round edge-like part. “This is the head.”

Keith had to chuckle, so did Sylvio.

“Sorry Lance. Two against one.”

Lance pouted in the most dramatic fashion that quickly changed into a grin.

“But!” He suddenly said loudly and pointed with his finger in the air, “I did once find a stone that looked exactly like a cow. Keith was there, he’s my witness.”

Sylvio giggled when Keith winked at him before he turned to Lance.

“Yes, Lance, that is very true. It was a cow.”

“Ha! See!” Lance said and looked very pleased.

And adorable, Keith thought.

Sylvio shuffled his feet, the stone still in his hand. Keith and Lance shared a glance. They didn’t know why Sylvio had decided to knock on Keith’s door in the first place.

“Um. I don’t have a Christmas present for you,” he said to Keith, very shy and staring at the stone, “so I wanted to give it to you as a present. And I didn’t want to wait for Christmas so you don’t forget about it.” He stretched out his hand, basically holding the stone right under Keith’s nose.

He slowly took it.

“Oh. Thank you, Sylvio,” he said. He felt Lance’s thigh pressing against his. Keith hadn’t expected anything like that, not at all.

“You have to turn it around,” the boy said, a bit more confident now that Keith had accepted his gift. “Turn it around.”

And Keith turned the stone around. On the surface was something written with a white pen. It was a date next to a little heart. 12/23, the 23rd December, today’s date, but the year wasn’t the current one – it was two years in the future.

“So you don’t forget.”

The boy tried to keep his eyes on the stone but they both saw that he kept glancing at his uncle.

At Lance.

Keith’s soul started its journey to leave his body but he desperately tried to ground himself and tried to send some reassuring calm vibes to his boyfriend. This was happening right now. Things got set into motion and now it was up to Lance to react in whatever way he deemed right.

“Sylvio.” The little boy looked up to Lance. “That’s a nice present...for my best friend.”

Keith heard how much he struggled to keep his voice steady. He was working up to something and Keith had an idea of what this was about. He didn’t know if Lance wanted him to go or to stay so he just didn’t move. Tried to be invisible.

But Lance didn’t let him be invisible. He took Keith’s hand that was holding the stone and opened it carefully, revealing the stone with the date.

“Nadia and I were just walking back and I, I heard what this date is about. It’s a wedding date.”

Sylvio nodded slowly.

“Do you, do you _want_ him to get married? I mean, you would like that to happen?”

Keith watched Sylvio. He was a bit nervous, probably caused by Lance’s nervousness that he wasn’t able to hide.

Sylvio nodded again, a bit more confident than before.

Keith thought about how cold Lance’s hands had to be right now despite it being almost too warm inside the room.

“You picked a good stone.” He took a moment to stare at his feet, then he looked up to his nephew again. “Can I get one too?”

Sylvio’s eyes widened.

“With the same date?” he whispered with anticipation.

Suddenly Lance’s anxiety fell off, Keith could feel it, the room’s energy did a 180 degrees turn.

“Yes, please. And with the same heart, please.”

Sylvio grinned at him, excitedly shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“You’re boyfriends,” he said. The words came out shyly but he radiated happiness that had the ability to throw both of the young men off their feet.

Lance’s smile was radiant.

“Yes.” He looked at Keith and took his hand. “Yes, we are.”

~~

Lance couldn’t stop smiling about Sylvio’s reaction. The boy had hopped on the bed to sit between them, cuddling with his uncle, asking questions about Arcadia Bay and rechecking the stories Keith had told him earlier. Before it was time for them to go down for dinner, Lance asked Sylvio to not tell the others about him and Keith being boyfriends. If he wanted to talk to anyone about them, he should go to Rachel.

Keith wasn’t quite comfortable to make Sylvio a bearer of their secret. He shouldn’t carry that burden, even if he might not realize that it was one. Even if it was only for a day, hopefully. But he also couldn’t come up with another solution – except Lance decided to move up his coming out to today. Unlikely though.

Dinner was weird because it was the opposite to the day before.

Luis and Mary were unusual uncommunicative, only talking in Spanish, but they others didn’t seem to mind. Lance was in a particularly good mood, almost a bit over-the-top, even for him being Lance, and was the center of their dinner-universe. Lisa, Luis’ wife, was busy caring for Nadia who had fallen over some steps earlier. She was alright but a bit whiny. Miguel, well, the old man was quiet as usual since the conversational topics mostly revolved around things only the younger generations shared, like TV shows, video games or how to play Space Explorer.

Lisa and Nadia were the first ones to leave the table, quickly followed by Luis and then Mary who started cleaning the already clean kitchen. Although Miguel was still at the table, Keith felt comfortable. Safe even. He was careful though to not let his guards down. Feelings of safety often tended to deceive him. Half an hour later Luis’ voice sounded from the top of the second floor, calling for Sylvio to get to bed. He said goodbye to everyone, kissing them on their cheeks.

Even Keith.

Keith’s heart skipped a beat by that display of affection. To get treated like the rest of the family. He still carried the stone in his pocket.

“He likes Keith a lot,” Rachel said with a smile and Keith looked up to figure out who she was talking to. Miguel nodded. She’d said it to her father. It was weird she was talking about him while he was present. “When we were shopping, he wouldn’t stop talking about him. Keith said this, Keith said that, he was all over me. He’s definitely a big fan of him.”

“As if it’s hard to like Keith,” Lance stated matter-of-factly and dipped a piece of bread in a salsa dip. “Most likable person ever,” he mumbled into his bread.

Both Keith and Rachel eyed him strangely with a side glance to Miguel. Lance didn’t notice anything, he had set himself the goal to finish the dip with the leftover piece of bread.

“Keith.”

Keith looked back at Miguel.

Who had just said his name.

And stood up.

And was on his way to leave the room, motioning him to follow him.

“Come with me, please.”

Keith stared at both Lance and Rachel as he slowly rose from the table to follow the oldest McClain.

“Wait, I--” Lance began to say, very confused about whatever was happening right now but Rachel hold him back. A few seconds later Keith was out of the door, following Miguel leading the way into the little office behind the reception.

Maybe it was about to happen. Maybe Keith was about to get some talk involving sentences like “don’t touch my son” or “we were always nice to you and that’s how you show your gratitude” or “pack your things and leave if you can’t be normal”. It wouldn't be the first time but that didn't make it any better.

He felt physically sick when Lance’s dad asked him to close the door behind him. He felt trapped. Would it help to turn back time right now? In case it got ugly? So he could pack his things and leave the hotel before he ruined this family's happiness? Before something happened that hurt Lance? Or should he wait to hear what Miguel had to say?

Keith felt the well-known power rushing through his body, the power to reverse time.

He was ready.

And decided to let him talk.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest, the talk between keithy and miguel should have happened in the chapter y'all just read but hey, it's me, i couldn't stick to my own plot-plan if my life depended on it - IT'S NOT MY FAULT ok, it's the, um, character's fault. i can't control an eight-year-old.
> 
> i know i said it before but for real: i don't know when i will update again because i will go to london soon! (convention and musicals, is there anything better? i don't think so.) 
> 
> I SET UP A NEW TWITTER ACCOUNT come say hi and tag along when i freak out about writing fanfiction. >> [@worstmission](https://twitter.com/worstmission)


	6. Take It From An Old Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance's father talks to Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *laughs nervously*  
> yeah i said i wasn't going to finish the next chapter any time soon but mamma mia here we go again, my my how can i resist ya. this chapter is a bit different but important to me so i hope you're still with me. it's not all sunshine though.  
> no additional tags.

###  **Take It From An Old Man**

**23rd December, later that evening.**

 

Keith was very anxious to leave Lance and Rachel behind at the dinner table but politeness and curiosity had led him out of the room into Miguel’s little office behind the reception.

Lance’s father wanted to talk to him.

His boyfriend’s father.

Who didn’t know about him and Lance being head over heels for each other for the last couple of months. At least Keith hoped so. But as much as they had tried to avoid showing their mutual affection, it had already failed twice. First with Rachel, then with Sylvio. He sent up a prayer to the universe. In his mind he already saw himself getting thrown out of the hotel, out of this family, out of Lance’s life. He closed the door behind him. Blood rushed through his ears. The room had no window and made him feel slightly claustrophobic. There were a small desk and a computer, some shelves with black folders belonging to the hotel business.

“Sit,” Miguel asked Keith and the young man took the seat in front of the desk, the old man behind it. If Keith didn’t know it better he’d say Mr. McClain was more anxious than him but that couldn't be. He still had no idea why he was here, what he wanted to talk to him about but he prepared for the worst. Because it had always been the worst with grown-ups.

Miguel collected himself before he started talking.

“I am sorry about your father.”

Keith’s facial expression turned to stone. That was an unexpected prelude to something he was still convinced to follow after. Give the boy some comforting words, tell him you understand him but then goodbye. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about his father, to get pitied by others.

“He was a nice man when I met him.”

“What?” Keith breathed out, not being able to keep his face as stoic as before.

“I wanted to talk to you about your family.”

His fear of Lance’s dad having The Talk about his sexual orientation immediately got replaced by something else. Excitement? Another kind of fear? Curiosity? His body became solid like a stone again but not as protection from others but to protect himself from what might escape him. There had been no one in his life to talk to about his parents, no one had known them. He wasn’t used to it. Thinking about his mother yesterday had already left him vulnerable. He didn’t know what to except now, not from Miguel, not from himself.

“You knew my father?” Keith asked.

Miguel nodded.

“It’s a long story. Do you know why my wife and I moved from Cuba to Oregon when we were young?”

“Not really,” Keith admitted. “Because of work?”

“Yes. You see, I was working in a hotel here, far up on the peninsula. I was very good at my job, wearing a nice uniform, and was in charge of wealthier guests.” Keith thought there was something very warm in Miguel’s eyes when he talked about his past. Pride and nostalgia that somehow hadn’t turned sour in later years.

“This is where I met your grandfather.”

Keith’s mouth gaped open. What.

“Yes, I also knew your grandfather. Kredon Galra. He liked Varadero and came here two or three times a year, always visiting the same hotel.” He smiled at the shape the memory took in his head. “We talked a lot and after two years we became good friends. I was in my late twenties and he was fifty, he could have been my father.”

There was a strange glisten in Miguel’s eyes.

“And I could have been his son.”

Keith didn’t know how to feel. It was already too much to process and he knew it wasn’t even the top of the iceberg that was yet to come. He had a grandfather. Not just on a piece of paper but a person someone had an actual connection to.

“I lost my parents when I was very young, almost as old as you have been when your mother died,” Miguel kept talking. He might be a quiet man but he wasn’t shy when he wanted to say something. His eyes kept glancing at Keith but they didn’t manage to hold their gaze long enough, always drifting away. Keith didn’t mind. Not everyone was able to make steady eye contact while talking.

“And Kredon was like a second father to me. Years later the hotel had to overcome a big change. Renovation, a new concept. They didn’t need me anymore. I was given my notice. It was a hard time.” He slowly shook his head. “Luis was only a small boy and Maria was pregnant with Rachel. Her parents didn’t have much money, they couldn’t help us. I didn’t know what to do, I worked in a bodega but the money wasn’t much. Kredon came again to visit the hotel but I was gone. But he found me.” He paused for a moment, his eyes briefly scanning Keith. “I was...ashamed, working in the little shop. Not the grand hotel with the uniform. But he liked me. And I liked him. And he offered me a job in one of his companies.”

“In, in Arcadia Bay?”

“Yes. We didn’t wait long. A week later I accompanied him to Oregon to look for an apartment and started working. Two months later Maria and Luis followed.”

“That must have been...hard.”

Miguel nodded and Keith wondered how it was possible to fit a whole life story in this simple gesture. To leave country and home, to leave a wife and a child to build a new foundation in another country, in a little town thousands of miles away. The fear, the struggle, only to give his family the best he was able to. To take the opportunity Kredon – his grandfather – had offered them. That was brave.

“He helped us to find a house and helped me with a loan. For the first years I worked in a factory the foundation owned. At first it was hard, everything was new and different, and the language...I knew English but not well enough.”

He tapped his fingers on the table and smiled.

“But we settled in. Arcadia Bay became our home. It took longer for Maria, she missed her parents. Then Rachel was born and we were all very happy. Our children were healthy. We had money, more money than in Cuba.”

Keith had accepted his role as a silent listener. Miguel didn’t need any “really?” or “interesting!” comments to tell him his story.

“Some years later Marco was born, our troublemaker,” he said fondly, “and then, then our little girl.”

Veronica.

“It was the year your mother moved to Arcadia Bay. And I had changed my job, got promoted. Kredon would meet me every month and we would have dinner, often at our home. Maria cooked for us, he loved Cuban food. And we talked, listened to old music he showed me.”

The mention of Keith’s mother made him tense.

“Maria and Krolia became friends as you already know. She started working in the, what is it called, the diner?”

“The Two Whales?” Keith breathed.

“Yes. That’s where they met.”

Keith hadn’t known that. He’d assumed his mother had always been working in the accounting department of a local fishing company until her sickness had been too bad for her to keep working.

“She changed her job later but her friendship with Maria stayed.”

Miguel struggled with the next sentence.

“Krolia, your mother, she was, very alone. Lonely. We invited her to us for holidays and on most Sundays for dinner. Once a month Kredon joined as well and we had a nice group, played card games. And one day Kredon asked me if he could bring along his son. And I said, why not.”

The sudden silence was deafening in Keith’s ears. Miguel seemed to wait for a reaction, a comment if he should go on or not.

“Oh,” Keith said, not knowing what else to say.

“Like I said, Zarkon was a decent man when I got to know him. He came over for the next couple of dinners. We were almost friends. He liked your mom. And your mom, well, she liked him, too.”

“But,” Keith interrupted him cautiously, “wasn’t he married?”

Miguel sighed.

“Yes, yes he was. But it wasn't a good marriage. That was all I knew at that time. I didn’t ask him. It was not my place to judge. I still worked for the foundation, he was my boss like his father. Sometimes it was only him and Krolia we had over for dinner, we met more often with them. Your mother was very good at card games. A natural. And then they got closer. And for some months your mother was very happy.” He smiled and something warm seemed to radiate from him, an honest smile with much fondness. “Maria and I were very happy, too. To see her laugh like that. She had always been a special woman but seeing her like that, it was...” He closed both his hands to fists only to quickly open them again. “A firework. She was a firework.”

He opened a drawer next to his desk and got something out, a piece of paper. No, a picture. He looked at it for a moment and then gave it Keith.

It was a photo from 20 years ago. It was taken in the living room of Lance’s old home in Arcadia Bay. It showed four people sitting at a table, drinks and snacks everywhere, a deck of cards in the middle, everyone was holding some cards in their hands. Mary squinted her eyes at the cards she was holding, Miguel seemed to laugh about something she had said. Krolia glanced shyly at Zarkon. And Zarkon smiled in the camera. He was so much younger, Keith thought. He didn't know if he had ever seen a picture with Zarkon smiling. But here he did. He was smiling. And his mother right next to him.

Those were his parents.

The realization hit him hard in his chest.

It was the first picture he saw of them together, right next to each other.

Keith hiccuped and put a hand on his mouth. His eyes watered, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking it:

Mom and Dad.

Those were his Mom and Dad. His parents.

Being happy. Together. Maybe even in love.

He felt some tears running down his cheeks.

With a shaky hand, he put the photo back on the desk. Miguel didn’t say anything about his tears and Keith appreciated it. Slowly he wiped the wet drops away, still glancing at the picture. Miguel continued.

“And then Krolia told us she was pregnant. With you. And she was even happier and couldn’t wait to meet you.”

There was so much in Keith, so many different feelings and emotions, it was all too much. On the outside he seemed to appear calm, only constantly wiping away tears, but he didn’t cry hard. Just non-stop little tears, like a body reaction he wasn't able to control any longer.

He hadn’t known anything of this story. That his mother had been happy, truly happy, when she’d met his father. He’d always thought that love hadn't been involved in his making, that he'd been the biggest mistake one could have made, no matter how many times his mother had told him otherwise. He’d just guessed so, with a father missing. How could he have been wanted when one part of him had left him before he was even born?

“And...my...my father?” he dared to ask though he already knew the answer.

Miguel looked away, a somber expression on his face.

“He liked your mother very much. But when he learned she was pregnant...”

“He left her, right? To be with Haggar again. And her son.”

“Yes. Meanwhile they had sorted out their own marriage problems. He went back to her and left Krolia. He wanted to give her money but she didn’t want anything from him.”

Keith swallowed.

“It was a shock for all of us. Zarkon, he had been a happy man with her. But his wish for power and glory was stronger. If he had acknowledged you, it would have come with a price. You’d be his heir one day. So Haggar made him choose. You or her.”

“Yeah, that must’ve been easy,” Keith said bitterly.

Miguel gave him an empathetic nod.

“For him it was. It was hard on your mother. But gladly not for long. Then you were born and her happiness not only got back but was more than before. No one had ever made her smile the way you did. Not Zarkon, not anybody else. You were her whole universe.”

His words made Keith's heart ache and he fought against more tears welling up in his eyes. “And after Maria held you in her arms for the first time – and you were a very small baby – she looked at me and said _Miguel._ Just _Miguel._ And I knew that look in her eyes, I had seen it before. And next summer...”

He looked at Keith, waiting.

“Lance was born,” Keith finished the sentence.

“Yes. And you two became inseparable.”

Miguel smiled broadly and although Keith tried to press his lips together to cover his emotions he couldn’t stop himself from smiling back at Lance’s mention.

Then Keith saw him struggling with the next words.

“Zarkon stopped coming to our dinners but Kredon was always there, once a month, punctual as usual. Krolia knew that Lotor wasn’t Zarkon's son. He had told her so when he was still with her and thought about leaving his wife. And I had in mind to tell your grandfather about you. So one day you would get the chance to inherit the foundation. But for that to happen Zarkon had to raise you. You had to become part of his life. And we, my wife and I, we promised your mother to keep you away from him. And the years passed by and we understood why. Zarkon changed a lot. He...wasn’t the same man I had over for dinner on Sundays.”

He had some trouble taking a deep breath and ended up having a violent coughing fit. After a second of hesitation, Keith was by his side, carefully putting a hand on Miguel’s back.

“Are you okay? Should I get Mary?”

Miguel shook his head. The coughing started to decrease. Keith was still scared the old man might die right next to him in this room. Miguel took a tissue to wipe his mouth. His breathing steadied itself and Keith sat back down in his chair.

“After Krolia died, I was conflicted, you know? Should I tell Kredon now or not. And then I saw...” His right hand started shaking and he tried to stop it by pressing his other hand against it. “I realized what pain Zarkon would give you. He didn’t...he...”

“He didn’t want me.”

The sadness in Miguel’s eyes was deep enough for both of them.

“No, he didn’t,” he confirmed quietly. “Zarkon, he had become more violent. Aggressive. And with your mother passed away he thought no one knew about you. But we did. Zarkon and Haggar cared a lot about the foundation and became more powerful and influential. So we were worried about you. What if someone found out about you? You were the only one who could take away his power. And you hadn't been influenced by him like Lotor had been. So I decided to keep you safe. Close to us in Arcadia Bay. And Maria and I, we thought about taking you in with us.”

His eyes found Keith’s and a smile appeared on his lips when he saw the surprise on the young man’s face.

“Yes, it’s true. Lance was very, um...” He squinted an eye to search for the right word. “Persistent. He didn’t want to let you go and we didn’t either. But,” he shrugged and rubbed a finger and his thumb together.

Keith nodded, showing he understood. They couldn’t have afforded to feed another hungry mouth. Internally he wanted to shake the old man’s shoulders just to hear it again. The McClains had actually considered becoming his foster parents? Or even, if he allowed to spin it even further, to adopt him?

“It was hard to look for foster parents, most of them too far away, Portland mostly. You stayed with us for two months, then I asked Kredon for help. To find you a new home.”

“You...asked my…,” Keith swallowed, the word hard to come across his lips, “you asked my grandfather for help?”

“Yes. I told him about you. In fact he had already met you before.” He reached into the drawer again and took out a small folder.

“I never broke my promise to Krolia. I never told him about you. But I think he knew. And also thought it was best to keep you away from his son.”

He took a deep breath.

“Kredon paid for your mother’s medical treatments. He wouldn’t have done it if...if he hadn’t known. Not in that way.”

He opened the folder and took out a picture.

“That was a week after your mother died,” he said and gave Keith the photo. “I don’t know if you remember this.”

There was an old man on it, probably around seventy. Kredon. He had white hair and was dressed very formally with a white shirt and dark blazer. He sat on a couch in the McClain’s living room. Next to him sat Keith, 9 years young. Kredon pointed at a picture in a big book on Keith’s lap. The little boy was mesmerized and it showed in his face.

The twenty-year-old Keith stared at this picture for a good while, collecting pieces in his mind to form the memory that belonged to it.

“This is...I remember this a little.”

Miguel waited.

“I thought this was a colleague of yours, I think. I’m not sure. But I remember.”

He looked at Miguel in bewilderment.

“He gave me my first book about astronomy. I still have it. I loved the pictures. It was...my favorite book. And I always thought my--”

He stopped himself from talking. Miguel didn’t need to know that he had imagined his mother to be somewhere up there in a sparkling colorful galaxy. The weeks after his mother’s death had been a blur. The man – his grandfather, as he had just learned – was just another blurry spot in his memory. He’d spoken to him. Not much, just a few words. And he had given him this book and they had looked at some photos together. Stars, planets, galaxies, nebulas. At Keith had found solace in it, later, when he was alone at night and couldn’t sleep. And later astronomy had become one of his favorite things he always shared with Lance.

“Why now, why did you tell me now?” he asked very quietly.

“You’re grown-up. You don’t need to be protected anymore.”

Keith looked at him, almost silently probing him. Miguel quickly looked away. So there was something else.

“Is that all?” Keith asked boldly.

Miguel sighed.

“No."

He took a deep breath.

"I know you are...upset about your parentage. When people try to appease you by telling horrible stories about Zarkon. You don’t like it and it gets to you. Not only because it hurts you but also because it hurts the memory of your mother. You want to hate him for what he’s done but you also want to be loyal to your mother. To understand why she had been with him. That is why you don’t like it when people hate on your father. She chose him, as brutal as it now is. But twenty years ago, she was in love with him. It’s not an easy situation, Keith. It’s natural to be conflicted about it.”

“I don’t care about that at all,” Keith said stubbornly.

“No, you care. You care very much.”

Keith furrowed his brows.

“I was there when Luis talked to you yesterday,” Miguel added.

“Oh.”

He had almost forgotten that his father had been a topic as well...with everything that had followed after.

“Just one more negative comment on your father and you...”

Keith waited. Miguel tilted his head, his hand started shaking again but this time he ignored it. A smirk appeared on his face.

“You would probably have yelled at everyone on that table and would regret it now.”

Keith huffed a laugh.

“I don't think so.”

Miguel shrugged friendly.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” the old man said.

Yeah, it didn’t matter anymore. Keith regarded him closely. Was there something else? He couldn’t tell. They fell silent for some seconds and Keith figured that everything had been said. At least for now.

“I wanted you to know that there is also something good on your father’s side. Kredon supported a lot of social projects, like you do now. He was one of the sponsors for the supervised living projects you were a part of. Yes, I still read Arcadia Bay’s newspapers. On the computer.” He smiled at Keith. “And I read some articles about you.”

Keith shuffled his feet.

“You remind me of him, your grandfather. Work-wise. Helping people and the town. You are more like him than Zarkon could ever be. And you remind me of my brother.” The last sentence was spoken very quietly and was more directed to himself than towards Keith. Keith didn’t know anything about him, he hadn’t even been aware that Lance’s father had a brother. He hadn’t met him. Miguel managed to give him a proper look into the eyes. “I don’t know if knowing all this will make it harder for you. About your family. But if not me who will tell you?”

There was a brief silence.

“Thank you for telling me about all this,” Keith said finally. “That...means a lot to me.” And it really did. Without any doubt it would take him some time to process everything he had just heard. There was extra weight on his shoulders he wasn’t sure how to carry yet.

“You’re welcome,” Miguel said. Then he pointed at the two pictures on the desk. “Keep them.”

“Oh, I couldn’t--”

“Please. They’re yours.”

Slowly Keith reached out to the photos and took them up. Pieces of his past. His family. He glanced at his father again. The only one of them still alive. Maybe one day...He shook his head. Not a decision he had to make right now.

Miguel waited for him.

“Thank you,” Keith repeated, holding the pictures like a treasure in his hand to avoid getting fingerprints on them. Miguel gave him an envelope to put them into. They both got up simultaneously and walked towards the door. Before Keith could open it, he stopped and turned around to the old man.

“Um,” he began. He wanted to say something else but the words got stuck in his throat. Miguel’s patient look reminded him of Lance’s patience for him whenever he needed more time to express his feelings. The familiarity calmed him and he felt being able to talk again. “Thank you for everything you did for me and my mom. I am...very grateful that you and your wife have always been there for me. Can you...please tell her that? Even with all that had happened...even with your family...and Lance moving to Cuba...and my time with my foster parents...It turned out well. Despite...everything. There's someone in my life, his name is Shiro...he was like Kredon was to you. He still is. So I know what that means. He is...the most important person in my life."

A part of his brain was aware that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from adding the next three words because the next three words just belonged there like the moon and the stars belonged to the night sky. Shiro was the most important person in his life, it was true, the most important person--

"Next to Lance."

He felt his eyes widen in surprise and shock. He quickly ran his hand through his hair to distract himself from dying internally. Why couldn't he just shut up for once, why was it so hard now when it mattered?

"Um, so, um," he stammered, cursing himself for having such a bodily reaction in this moment. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, Miguel was still looking at him.  "Thank you. For everything," Keith said, now much calmer.

Now it was Miguel who had teary eyes. He put one heavy hand on Keith’s shoulder, keeping it there for a few seconds. Then he smiled, softly patted his shoulder and nodded.

Nothing more.

They left the room. Miguel went into the kitchen and Keith back to the dinner table. The room was empty but the door to the poolside was open. He glanced outside. Lance and Rachel were sitting at the side of the pool with their legs hanging into the water.

At the sight of Lance he released his breath until his lungs were empty and the need for air forced him to breathe again. He took a few more deep breaths, just looking at his boyfriend. He had to tell him. He wanted to tell him. About everything he had just learned. But he was so tired. That conversation had drained him completely. That Miguel hadn’t once mentioned Keith being gay wasn’t even important to him in this hour. For a brief moment he considered going to bed, just falling down on the mattress and closing his eyes for a long long time.

He couldn’t do that.

He tried to relax his face. Breathe in, breathe out. Then he walked up to the two siblings at the pool.

“Hey,” he said and sat down beside Lance.

“Thank God, you’re still alive,” Lance howled and clutched his arms around Keith’s neck in the most dramatic fashion.

“Of course.” Carefully he shoved the arms away from him. He couldn’t deal with that kind of closeness right now.

“What did you talk about?” Lance asked, only flinching once at Keith’s reaction.

“Um, about my family.”

Rachel was still sitting on Lance’s other side, looking at them both. She was also curious, he could tell. Thankfully she got the hint from Keith’s hesitation and got up.

“I leave you two alone. Sleep well, lovebirds.”

Lance kept looking at him, wary at Keith’s reserved behavior.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Keith nodded.

“Yeah. It’s just...” He shook his head. “Too much input. I need to...let it sink in, I guess.”

“Okay,” Lance said. He tilted his head and smiled at him like it wasn’t a big deal. Like it was the most natural thing in this world to give Keith time and space to think. With his feet he wiggled in the pool water and stared up into the sky, just existing next to his boyfriend. Keith couldn’t deal with it. He looked at him for a few more seconds. If he hadn’t been so tired, he would have kissed him right there, making them fall into the pool together, kissing him under water until they ran out of air.

“What?” Lance asked when he caught him staring.

“Can we go to the beach?”

“Um, sure. But it’s probably very dark.”

“Yeah.”

Lance wiggled his eyebrows but Keith just returned his advance with an extra tired look.

“Sorry,” Lance said, got up and offered his hand to Keith. He took it.

They didn’t talk on their way to the beach. It was indeed very dark, the light of the nearby hotels barely reached the sand. Keith led him down to the place they had spent the morning and sat down, Lance next to him.

The shallow waves of the ocean were the loudest sound around them. In the far distance there was faint music from a hotel but that was it. No people around them, they were all alone. Keith lay back down on his back. The sand was still warm and Lance lay down next to him, their shoulders touching. The night sky was full of stars. So close by the ocean, there wasn’t much light pollution, just like in Arcadia Bay. Different ocean, different part of the earth. Only the constellations of the stars were pretty much the same.

“There’s Cassiopeia,” Lance said as if he had read Keith's mind.

“I have a grandfather.”

Lance turned around to him, Keith kept staring at the sky – a sky he first really had looked up to after he was given the astronomy book.

“Your father knew him. He helped your family to move to Oregon. Miguel was friends with him. They played cards, my mother was there, too. Then Zarkon came over and met my mom and...they were happy, Lance. They were happy, my mom and...dad. Even if it was only for...a blink of an eye, I suppose.”

Only when Lance pushed his arm under his head and hold him tight he noticed that he had started crying again.

“I don’t know why I’m crying, sorry, I’m sorry,” Keith said frantically and kept wiping away the tears until Lance took his hand.

“Shht, it’s fine, okay? It’s okay to cry.”

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t...Zarkon is awful, he abandoned mom and he wanted to kill me, Lance. My father killed me! I shouldn’t be crying, I really shouldn’t.”

Nevertheless the tears kept rolling and he pulled his hand away from Lance.

“God, why can’t I stop...”

“Keith, please. Look at me.”

“No, it’s just. No.”

He rolled to the other side, his eyes facing away from Lance. He could feel the sand, the uneven ground and stones painfully poking in his side but he didn’t care. Why did he cry about his father? It wasn’t right, it just wasn’t--

An icy feeling started to spread through his mind, reaching out to his heart. He had to blink rapidly and tried to shake it off. For a few seconds he couldn’t tell where he was, who he was with, what existed and what not; an indescribable feeling of purest confusion and dread. He desperately tried to cling to something, to latch himself onto a memory to help him through this but his mind wasn’t able to focus on anything. It felt like a fall into a bottomless hole, no ground in sight, just endless darkness and flashes of memories passing by too quickly to recognize them.

“Okay,” he heard Lance’s soft voice. There was a touch on his arm, a hand soothingly stroking him. He felt the tears on his face - he was still crying - but Lance’s hand and voice saying “it’s okay” every now and then helped him to focus. Lance. He was with Lance. On the beach. This was happening. This was real.

Still feeling dizzy he decided to turn around and sat up. Lance followed immediately and did the same, eyeing Keith cautiously.

“You have sand in your hair,” Lance said and slowly ran his fingers through a strand of Keith’s hair. His eyes locked with Keith’s. Without any hesitation Keith leaned forward to kiss him.

“Keith,” Lance said warily and stopped him with a touch against his chest, “you’re still crying.”

“I’m not.”

“You...are,” Lance said and gently wiped a tear off Keith’s cheek. “See? And you’re shaking. And...your eyes...”

“Please,” Keith said simply. “Can we just...kiss?” He looked devastated. “For a while?”

Lance waited a moment. Keith wasn’t able to hold his gaze, his eyes flickering wildly around.

“Can we go upstairs?" Lance asked instead. "Would that be okay for you?”

Keith hugged his knees and watched the waves in front of them. A minute passed without a word being said.

“Okay.”

~~

The bed was warm with Lance holding him in his arms and Keith’s body relaxed bit by bit. Lance was an active hugger, he didn’t hold someone motionless, but kept changing the pressure of his embrace, often combined with gentle strokes and humming noises of contentment.

And Keith felt real again. But drained. Absolutely drained from everything Miguel had told him. He started sorting through the new information, whispering little things to Lance who would comment or hum.

“There’s more I need to tell you,” Keith whispered after he had repeated everything Miguel had said. His eyes were already closed, his mind on its way to falling asleep. He’d talked so much and now every feeling was gone, he felt empty, but in a relieved kind of way. He wasn’t scared to talk to Lance anymore. He wanted to tell him about the power he still had. No more secrets. But his mind rebelled against it. He tried to open his eyes but his eyelids were so heavy, so so heavy, and it was so warm next to Lance, sleep, he just wanted to sleep.

“We have all the time, babe,” Lance said and kissed Keith's forehead.

“No, I have to--” he mumbled and snuggled his nose against Lance's neck. “You need to know.”

“Tomorrow. We have so much time to talk tomorrow. Sleep now. I’m right here. Everything will be fine.”

Keith obliged gladly and drifted into a deep sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing the talk with keith and miguel made me feel like a had a therapy session, i was pretty much as drained as our boy. i hope he will get some rest and lance doesn't wake him up by being extra cuddly. and lol, in the middle of my proof-reading process the s8 trailer dropped, so in case there are more typos or weird grammar mistakes or confusing things left, ehh, blame it on the trailer. (and english not being my first language...)
> 
> so i am officially in travel mode now and will see you in probably 2.5 weeks. seriously now..^^ sorry for leaving you with a not-so-happy-go-lucky chapter but just remember that veronica and her fiancee will arrive the next day and lance plans to come out that evening! and i'm sure keith will feel a lot better in the morning :)


	7. It Won't Be Long Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Veronica and her girl (who i kept unnecessarily secret, i am sorry, i don't even know why i did this) and have some family scenes. I have a weak spot for the McClain sisters. Oh and prepare yourself for the beginning of a confrontation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...my friends. voltron is over and i think every single person in this fandom needs some happiness right now so i actually added some fluffy scenes (also the last chapter was a bit rough and i felt awful to let you all hanging there.) but hey london was lovely, we saw two musicals (EDIT: THREE! THREE MUSICALS), went to the shadowhunters convention (lmao what a glorious mess that was) and came up with the next klance fanfic idea, whoop. now enjoy :)
> 
> content notes: really brief mention of someone getting killed in a shooting, no details; cliffhanger in the end during a heated conversation, might be upsetting; the use the word 'queer' is meant to be in a reclaiming and empowering way (i hope that's clear for all of the story)

###  **It Won't Be Long Now**

**24th December, Christmas Eve, Part 1**

When Keith opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Lance’s face above him, breaking into a smile. Blue kind eyes that always had some excitement in them, no matter how small or big the occasion was. Keith blinked the sleep away and tried to sit up, briefly wondering what his boyfriend was excited about in this early hour of the morning. His body felt heavy, exhausted and tired, as if he had just run a marathon across country. Twice. The thoughts of last night came back: The talk with Miguel about his family and how his parents once had been in love, about his grandfather who had been friends with Lance’s dad. No wonder he felt so weak and drained although the night’s rest had calmed him a lot.

He’d woken up one time in the middle of the night only to find Lance still wrapping his arms around him and it reminded Keith that everything would be fine at one point.

Everything.

He still had to process his past and it would probably take some time but he could do it. With Lance by his side, with Shiro and Adam and his other friends. He had briefly wondered if he should wake him up to tell him about the superpower that was still within him. The night before he had almost done it, he had almost told him about the probably biggest thing that was still standing between them. But Lance had looked so peaceful in his sleep and he had taken it as a welcome excuse to postpone it once again. He’d do it, he really would.

Later.

There were still some days left in this year for him to keep his own promise and tell Lance before New Year.

“What time is--” Keith started to ask but Lance put a finger on his lips and shook his head. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Keith's lips, then got up and took something off the ground.

“Happy Christmas Eve Day!" With these words he put a tray full of food on Keith’s lap. There was toast, omelets, jam, some cookies, grapes and a little tea light burning next to the plate. The big mug of coffee had spilled over a bit and drops of the black liquid got soaked up by a nearby paper napkin.

Keith tried to wipe up the rest of the spilled coffee when he saw a written message on the now slightly brown napkin. It said “Keith, I love you – Lance”. He quickly pulled the napkin away and put it on the dry side of the tray. Something warm melted in his heart.

He turned around to Lance who had settled back next to him in bed.

“Breakfast in bed? What’s that for?” Keith asked. Lance was almost appalled by this question as he pointed at the napkin. They looked at each other.

“That’s why. And I thought you needed some cuddles and a nice breakfast in bed after last night.” The sincerity in Lance's word was almost too much for Keith. This week had turned out quite different than he had expected. Things he had expected: various meltdowns from Lance regarding his imminent coming-out with Keith by his side to calm him. Now somehow it was Lance who constantly had to be there for Keith. 

“Um, thanks for being with me yesterday,” Keith said quietly and felt the need to apologize. “Sorry for being such a mess about it. And by _it_ I mean kind of everything I guess.”

“Hey.” Lance put his arm around Keith’s shoulder, his fingers absentmindedly playing with Keith’s black hair. “I’m always with you. And we’ll share the mess like we've always done. That's our thing.”

They were quiet for a moment. Keith stared at the message written on the napkin.

“Lance.”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“No,” Keith said and shook his head, “no, I...I love you so much, Lance.” He took a deep breath. He wasn’t good at telling Lance all the details of how he felt about him. Telling him he loved him, yes, that wasn’t the problem, but all the details…All the little things. It was always the little things, wasn’t it? They made him vulnerable, showed his weaknesses, gave the things most important to him a name. He took Lance’s hand. “Since you’re back you’re always there for me,” he said with a hitched voice, his words jerking out only slowly. “Literally in life and death. And with the foundation and the stress, you’re always there to make everything easier. And you are so patient with me when I have my...moments. And all I do is making your life harder. And now you made me breakfast and...What do I ever do for you?”

“You ground me,” Lance said without missing a beat.

“I what?”

“You ground me,” he repeated, “you help me focus." He put a hand in Keith's neck. "And you don't make my life harder. Being with you is as easy as breathing. You make me feel loved with all my flaws and, you know, insecurities." He cuckled nervously. "And I have quite a few. You’re like this force of nature and being with you makes me feel safe. There is so much that you do for me, Keith, honestly.”

Keith’s mouth opened in surprise, wanting to protest, wanting to say ‘that can’t be’ but the softness in Lance’s eyes was too pure to contradict him.

“And I feel safe being with you,” he said instead because it was true and one of the most important feelings to him.

They leaned their heads together.

“Always good talking with you, Kogane,” Lance whispered.

“Same to you, McClain. Now please hold the tray.”

“Why?”

“I just woke up and really need to pee.”

Lance threw his head back in his neck and laughed.

“You need to work on your romance skills.”

~~

They spent all morning in Lance’s room, being lazy and in love together, zapping through Cuba’s TV world, video-chatting with Pidge, Hunk and Shay. Bless technology. Only Rachel knocked a few times to give them updates about the rest of the family and the preparations for Christmas. She had told the others that she and Keith were studying business related things and Lance was working on a Christmas present and that seemed to be enough for the rest of the family to not disturb them. For a few minutes Keith went back into his own room to call Shiro and to talk about last night. He gave him some needed words of reassurance and the promise to talk further about everything when he got home, also suggesting Keith might consider therapy to deal with everything. This idea was a bit overwhelming for Keith but Shiro had told him he didn’t have to decide right on spot and Keith was once again grateful that his friend had become such a reliable constant in his life.

Then there was a new idea he had to run by with Adam who wasn’t happy to hear him talking about the foundation during his vacation but then again he was glad to hear him. Although they had known each other for a while now, during the last months Adam had become someone Keith could turn to if he needed a perspective from someone who wasn’t as emotionally involved in things as him and Shiro – which didn’t mean Adam didn’t care about him, no, quite the contrary, but Adam always had a cool head in stressful situations and could assess new possibilities in a more neutral way. The perfect executive secretary for the foundation and a very dear friend.

When he went back to Lance’s room, he found his boyfriend on the bed staring at the ceiling. Of course. There was this huge thing lingering on Lance’s mind.

It was Christmas Eve. The day when Veronica and her fiancee were about to arrive. The day Lance wanted to come out to his family and introduce Keith as his boyfriend. And the closer the day had come the quieter Lance had become about this topic. A month ago he had hold a speech in Keith’s kitchen about what he wanted to tell his parents and a fire had burnt in his eyes. (It had ended with Lance flipping Keith around, bending him back like in that famous sailor-nurse-photograph and then proceeded to kiss him passionately. This failed disastrously after some short seconds when he realized that he held Keith in a weird angle and wasn’t able to support his weight any longer; they crashed to the ground and had a laughing fit.) They were still talking about Lance’s coming out on a daily basis and Lance shared his worries as open as he was able to but the fire in his eyes was almost out. Only when he was in a good mood it flickered back and burnt bright and calmed Keith more than it probably should. This wasn’t about him, he kept telling himself. Although.

It was also about him. It was about both of them.

“About tonight,” Keith said slowly and snuggled back to Lance in bed, “how do you feel?”

Lance shrugged and sank deeper into the mattress. “I don’t know. Scared. Horrified. The usual.” He closed his eyes. "Actually by now those are just random words. I feel...nothing anymore."

"Nothing?"

"Yeah...I'm numb from all the times I freaked out about it. But ask me again in the evening. I bet it will change."

“Veronica will be there. Rachel knows, even Sylvio.”

Lance looked up to him and once again Keith felt overwhelmed by the look in Lance’s eyes. Eyes only looking at him, eyes making him the center of the universe.

“And you’re there,” Lance said and ran his fingertips over Keith’s cheek.

“Of course. You can do this, Lance,” Keith said and leaned into the touch.

“Yeah...”

His boyfriend turned away his gaze and dropped his hand.

“What?” Keith asked.

“It’s just,” Lance sighed, “I try not to have any expectations because I honestly don’t know how they’ll react. Veronica already did the groundwork years ago when she came out and it was horrible from what I’ve heard. And yeah, I know they’re somewhat accepting now but I don’t know, Keith. I don’t know.”

Keith bit his tongue to not mention the weird behavior from Luis and Mary the day before. If it helped Lance to tell himself they were accepting, then he wouldn’t take this idea away from him, not now that the time had almost come. He needed all the courage he was able to gather, even if it was just wishful thinking. And maybe they were all wrong in the end. At least Lance’s father seemed to be different than he had expected.

Then again Lance was the youngest McClain, not including his nephew and niece, and everyone was protective of him. Would that change things? Make it easier or harder? He couldn't tell.

He skidded down to lie next to Lance, quietly wondering if his boyfriend would still be with him in the morning in case things went out of hand at dinner. He shook his head at himself for having these thoughts again. Lance wouldn't leave him, the family liked him, he wouldn't get kicked out, he told himself like a mantra.

“It will be fine, I’m sure, Lancey.”

~~

The atmosphere downstairs was full of anticipation for the youngest McClain daughter to arrive and for tonight’s dinner with the whole family (except for Marco). Mary was busy in the kitchen already, Miguel tended to some important hotel business, Luis and Lisa helped both of them, and Rachel seemed to be everywhere at the same time, talking to guests, adding some last decorations, giving instructions to the hotel employees. The guests were about to have a fancy dinner tonight in the shared restaurant of the hotel complex so at least the McClains didn't have to worry about this kind of thing and had the breakfast room for tonight’s dinner all for themselves.

“Mom?” Lance asked when he entered the kitchen. Keith lingered at the door frame, not wanting to invade their privacy. Also he was still unsure how exactly to feel about Lance’s mom and change of attitude towards him. It made him feel wary and cautious for starters and he loathed that feeling which reminded him too much of all the times someone had pushed him away and he hadn’t been able to foresee it.

“Oh, it smells so nice in here! Keith and I are going to the airport. Do you need anything? From the supermarket? Anything missing that I can pick up for you?”

Keith noticed the hint of desperate love in Lance’s voice, the wish to appeal his mother, to be liked by her forever and always. It hurt him to see Lance like this, acting like he wanted to do everything perfect before tonight, before he might cause an uproar in his family like Veronica once had done.

Mary turned around, she had some flour on her cheeks and in her hair.

“Oh, I don’t need anything but a hug from my son,” she said and for a moment Keith thought she was the same lovely mom she’d seen at the airport when she held Lance in a tight embrace. Another ping of pain went through his heart when he thought about Mary’s behavior the day before. How she and Luis had tried to send some supervision with them, trying to keep them apart now that everyone knew Keith was gay. What would they do when they learned that Lance was bi himself? He tried to swallow his anger because Lance’s face lit up by hugging his mother. He deserved the world, Keith thought. He deserved to be loved by every single being in this universe.

Then Mary turned to Keith.

“And a hug from my other son,” she said. Keith needed a moment to process that she was talking to him. Lance grinned at him.

The small woman held her arms open. Keith observed her warm smile when he slowly walked towards her but he couldn’t find anything fake in it. Not that he’d trust his own observations anymore but as much as Lance he wished everything to be alright and for a moment he allowed himself to get lost in the warm embrace.

When she withdrew, she put a hand on Keith’s cheek and looked at him in a worried but loving way that he’d only known from his own mother and Shiro. And in this moment he knew that Miguel had talked to her about their conversation the night before.

“We’re so glad we got you back,” she said.

“I’m glad to be back,” he replied. It was weird because he didn’t know if one or both of them had just lied. Or none of them? He couldn’t tell. He was glad to be back, sure, but...the circumstances stressed him more and more.

~~

“Do you think your mother pities me?” Keith asked on the way to the airport. They listened to some music while Lance was driving the car and the unexpected hug from Mary was still on his mind.

“What? No. I mean, she worries probably because that’s what parents do, especially my mom. But pity? No, look at you, you’re handsome and rich.”

Keith stared at his hands in his lap.

“I don’t know. I don’t want her to pretend she likes me just because she knew my mother and all.”

“Keith. Listen." He turned down the volume of the radio. "She knows you since the day you were born. She doesn’t call you ‘her other son’ to screw with your mind. That’s still my mom we’re talking about, okay?" His voice wavered a bit. "She likes you, loves you even. And that has nothing to do with pity or your mother but because you’re just you. And that’s enough.”

“Maybe when I was younger. But maybe that changed because when she saw me the last time she didn’t know I was g--”

Oh shit, Keith cursed at himself and stopped mid-word.

Lance exhaled sharply and shook his head, staring over the steering wheel at the road ahead.

“Wow, Keith. Thanks for the encouragement,” he said emotionless.

“Sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Yeah, but you see why I’m worried, huh? I still don’t think she’s homophobic, I mean not...not really.” The last words were so quiet they almost got lost in the noise of the car.

“But you’re her son, Lance! She won’t stop loving you.”

“You’re literally ‘her other son’, dude.”

“Stop calling me dude, that’s weird, we’re dating.”

“Okay, Mr. Future McClain,” Lance said with a smirk and the mood in the car made a 180-degree turn. Keith shuffled deeper into his seat and bit his lip to prevent the blush on his face to spread – which failed. There it was again, the talk about marriage. God, why did it make him so weak to talk about that subject?

“Aww, you’re blushing,” Lance laughed, “that’s so cute, you barely do that anymore.”

“I’m keeping my name,” Keith tried to growl but it came out higher-pitched than he wanted it to be.

Lance tsked. “If you insist.”

Keith stared at Lance next to him. He gathered a bit of courage and opened his mouth again.

“That makes you Mr. Lance Kogane then,” he said boldly. “Better start practicing your new signature.”

It gave Keith some satisfaction to see a nice shade of red on Lance’s face spreading up to his ears and making him speechless for some long seconds.

“You do realize you just missed to turn right to the airport, don’t you? There was this huge sign with a plane on it.” Keith said with fake worry in his face and poked him into his shoulder until Lance woke up from his stupor.

“Shut up,” he chuckled slightly embarrassed and glanced at Keith who was so amused about this situation that he winked at him to throw him off even more. “Stop that, Kogane, I have to drive!”

“Then don’t look at me!”

"Great, now I don't know where we are."

"Just do a u-turn over there."

"I'll do a fuck-u-turn if you don't stop talking."

"Sounds promising, you can show me that tonight."

“KEITH! Goddammit.”

~~

They arrived in the arrival terminal only ten minutes later than intended which was caused by a) the detour they had to take and b) the furious kissing session Lance insisted on in the parking lot so Keith could make it up to him for distracting him from driving.

According to the screen’s information the plane from New York via Miami had landed on time. They waited in front of the slide doors with other people and taxi drivers.

“You’re nervous,” Keith commented on Lance’s constant pacing next to him.

“Yeah, but in a good way.”

“Me too. It’s been six years.”

They smiled at each other.

“I still can’t believe you told each other you’re gay before you told me.”

“I told you all about it in my note but it’s hardly my fault when little Lance is incapable to find it.”

“You’re right.” For a moment Lance’s expression became somber. “I just wished I had known sooner. To let you know that it wouldn’t have changed anything between us.”

Keith tilted his head.

“But I wanted things to change between us,” he said. "In case you haven't noticed by now."

"Hmm, I might have, I might have...Was I worth the waiting?” Lance asked with a smile, fluttered his eyes and made a kissing mouth.

“You’re so full of yourself sometimes,” Keith laughed and pushed Lance’s face away.

Every time the slid door opened and people walked out, Lance stretched his neck to get a glimpse of the security area and conveyor belts, always pushing himself up on Keith’s shoulder. This went on until Keith asked if Lance wanted to sit on his shoulders – which Lance did actually consider for a moment before he realized that Keith had joked.

“I think I just saw them,” he exclaimed and shook Keith's shoulder.

The door opened again and there they were.

When Veronica saw Lance waving from the other side of the barrier, she dropped her suitcase and ran over to him. A blonde woman behind her sighed and took up the luggage.

“LANCE!” Veronica yelled and hugged her little brother, almost throwing him off his feet. Keith smiled at this picture. All three of them together again, that was wholesome. She still had her wild brown hair down to her neck and wore glasses. When they were younger, the three of them had spent much time together since Veronica had only been three years older than Lance. If Lance and Keith had been an adventurous duo, they only got topped by the almost dangerously foolish trio. The mix of Lance’s ridiculous ideas, Veronica’s intelligence to come up with plans and Keith’s hotheaded courage to actually execute them was a dangerous thing. Keith couldn’t remember how many hours of his life he had spent running away from people they had pranked with Lance and Veronica on his side laughing and panting.

Veronica and Keith had grown closer in the summer he had confessed her he was in love with Lance – and she had told him she liked girls. A lot of things had changed this summer for both of them. Veronica had always been ambitious but she suddenly became even more strict when it came to school and her education, almost as if she thought she had to compensate for being queer with being the smartest in class. When the three of them had been alone she had been almost as goofy as Lance and Keith had admired that she was able to pull off both sides of her personality that well: being professional and smart and also goofy and reckless.

“Oh God, Keith!” Veronica said and turned to him, her eyes sparkly and wild.

“NO, STOP!” Lance yelled almost in a panic and put his hands between her and Keith. “Wait.” Suddenly he got a very formal attitude.

“Veronica?” He pointed his hand at her and then at Keith. “This is my _boyfriend_. His name is _Keith_. You might already know him. Keith, this is my sister Veronica. You, um, might already know her.”

“My my, Keith, it’s my pleasure to meet my brother’s boyfriend.” She eyed him from head to toes and back up. “I can’t believe you made this old rascal an honest man.”

Finally she pulled Keith into a hug and both of them couldn’t stop grinning. Although it’s been six long years, he felt more at ease with meeting her again than it had been with meeting Lance again.

“Congrats on the engagement,” he said.

“Thanks. And I am so happy for you,” she whispered in his ear. “Thanks for making him gay.”

“He’s bi and I didn’t do anything.”

She leaned away. “Keith, my boy, take the joke.”

They grinned at each other with a side glance to Lance.

“Okay. You’re welcome.”

“Are you talking about me? You’re talking about me!”

“Nope.”

“No, we didn’t.”

“So, you’re Keith,” another voice said and Keith turned around. A young woman in Veronica’s age with long blonde hair in two pigtails and a curious smile on her face stood in front of him. She wore a shiny Christmas sweater and a set of reindeer horns and looked like she was the opposite of Veronica (who only wore some simple dark clothes). So that was Veronica’s fiancee. Keith briefly wondered how the two of them got together and how they fit each other. Sure, outer appearances didn't mean much but he couldn't wrap his mind around the two of them being engaged. It looked as if two different worlds had clashed together.

“Hi,” she said with a bright smile and held out her hand for Keith to shake it. “I’m Romelle.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said. And wow, she was indeed beautiful. He had already seen pictures but in real life, she was something else. He glanced at Veronica who smiled sheepishly at him and for a moment they were back at being thirteen and fifteen, crying about being different from anybody else, crying about being alone forever, about not being able to be with the people they fall in love with.

Look at us now, Veronica’s grin said and Keith walked up to her and softly bumped his arm against her to tell her he understood.

“So now that the gays are complete, this Christmas can begin,” she said and Keith decided he liked her. “I brought us some cookies from Schmackary’s and a new bikini.”

They stared at her.

“I mean the cookies are for us all but the bikini is for me, obviously.” She made fists with her hands, threw them up in the air and giggled. “I’m so excited to go swimming! It’s my first real vacation for over a year!”

“If it’s the beaches’ sand you want then you will have them,” Veronica said and kissed her gently.

“That’s so cheesy,” Lance said and earned a playful smack against the back of his head from Veronica.

“And I enjoy her being cheesy immensely, Lance,” Romelle said, “I had to work really hard to bring out that side in her. She was way too serious when we first met.”

“It was a stressful time,” Veronica defended herself, “I just moved into my new apartment with this awful roommate and got the job as an air traffic controller on JFK. The training was hard and I was--”

“Shht,” Romelle interrupted her girlfriend, “anyway, she didn’t even realize I was hitting on her in that bar and her boss had to point it out to her. She was so embarrassed, hahaha. Oh God, I need to tell you about the first time she asked me out, I will never let her forget that.”

Veronica buried her head in her hands. “Can you please not--”

“I wanna hear everything,” Keith quickly said and earned a glare from Veronica.

“Wow, Keith, after all that we’ve been through?”

Keith just shrugged with a playful smile on his lips.

“Do you want me to tell Lance how you gushed about him when we were younger?”

Within a second Keith's smile was wiped away from his face and his eyes widened in horror.

“Ohhhh,” Lance exclaimed, his finger wildly pointing between his sister and his boyfriend. “Do tell. I wanna know all the details!”

“You know, Keith was a very lovesick puppy and when you had your birthday party he--”

“VERONICA!”

She stopped talking and bit her lip.

“What?! WHAT?” Lance demanded to know.

“Well, now I wanna know, too,” Romelle added to the conversation and threw her arm around Veronica’s shoulder. None of them cared that they were still standing in the middle of the terminal with people passing by, angrily staring at them for blocking the way.

“Please, can I tell them?” Veronica begged. “It’s been six years, Keith. And it’s cute.”

Keith rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat.

“Go ahead, I guess.”

“Okay,” she started and pushed her glasses up on her nose, “so it was Lance’s birthday party and I was kind of supervising the kids. I did that a lot, by the way. Keith had already told me about his crush on Lance. And when I was alone in the kitchen for a minute, Keith entered and asked me if I could make them play Seven Minutes In Heaven or Truth Or Dare and manipulate the game it so that he was alone with Lance or make them both kiss.”

Romelle giggled.

“I said I wouldn’t do that which left him a bit crushed but I felt a lot for little Keith.”

Meanwhile Keith had turned away from them, his face slightly flushed, when he felt a hand on his arm.

“That. Is. So. Adorable.” Lance said and turned him back around. He put his hands in Keith’s neck and looked at him. “I would totally have made out with you.”

Keith huffed.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, we can play Seven Minutes In Heaven later in my room? Maybe even seventeen? Seventy?” Lance pulled Keith closer to him. “I give you all the minutes. Hours even.”

“Hmm, I’d like that,” Keith mumbled, completely forgetting about their surroundings when their noses touched.

“This is so fucking weird,” a voice said and they looked back at the girls. Veronica eyed them both fondly and confused. “You’re actually a couple.”

“What, did you think I lied?” Lance chuckled.

“No, but it feels so unreal. You have no idea how much I rooted for you even though I was convinced that this won’t ever happen, especially after you two lost contact and, well, I always thought Lance was straight. And now this,” she pointed at them and smiled, “happened. This is what I call a happy end.”

“We haven’t even started yet,” Lance said and planted a kiss on Keith’s cheek.

“Then let’s go,” Romelle said, clapped in her hands and lead the way out of the terminal. “I wanna go to the beach! Please!”

~~

“Can I drive?” Romelle asked when Lance closed the trunk of the car. “I haven’t driven in ages because I don’t have a car because, d’uh, New York, but then again I sometimes wish I had one because the MTA is the pure evil on Earth and I had the weirdest Uber driver experiences you can possibly imagine, you don’t even wanna know, trust me. So? Can I drive?”

She fluttered her eyes at Lance.

“Please?”

“Um, I guess?” he said and handed her the keys with a side glance to his sister.

“What?” Veronica asked with raised eyebrows.

“Nothing!”

“I swear I can drive!” Romelle promised and hopped into the car. The others followed.

“Oh, it’s with a stick,” she said to Veronica who immediately had called shotgun. “Haven’t been driving this in...quite a while.”

“Um, should I drive?” Lance asked cautiously.

“Nope,” Romelle said vigorously. “I just need to get used to it again.”

“She can drive, Lance,” Veronica added with a smirk. Romelle started the engine and...it made a strangled sound and died.

“Huh.”

“You need to press the clutch and then--”

“I KNOW, Lance, I know, wait,” Romelle whispered jitterly.

Lance mouthed ‘we’re gonna die’ to Veronica and she responded by flipping him off. Keith turned his face away so Romelle wasn’t able to see him grinning in case she looked into the rearview mirror.

After a bumpy start, it took her only two minutes to get back into driving mode and she loudly enjoyed every second of it with Cuba's landscape passing by. Lance and Keith started to relax in the backseat, only Veronica didn’t seem to have been worried about Romelle’s driving ability at all.

“I love the feeling of freedom so much, we should make a road trip someday,” she said.

“Where to?” Veronica asked.

“Through Europe! I wanna see Scandinavia! Finland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark! It’s where my ancestors are from,” she added for the boys in the back. “But it’s pretty hard to do long trips with my job, I don’t have that many days off.”

Keith hummed. “Um, Lance told me you’re a musical actress?” He didn’t know much about Veronica’s girlfriend yet and was very curious what Veronica made her fall in love with this woman.

“Oh yes, on Broadway, fancy, huh?”

Veronica turned around.

“She is amazing. She’s the lead actress and already won an award. And I bet there will be more.”

“Ah, I don’t think so,” Romelle said but smiled.

“I’ve seen her show already three times. If you’re ever in New York, we need to get tickets!”

“Which show?” Keith asked.

“It’s called Beautiful, The Carole King musical. It’s about, well, Carole King’s life. You know who that is, right?”

Lance and Keith shared a look and shrugged.

“Um.”

“Actually, no.”

Romelle gasped loudly.

“You don’t know who...wow. She's a famous singer-songwriter. You will know her. I’m gonna play you some songs later. We just released the cast recording last week.”

“You know the intro song of Gilmore Girls?” Veronica asked.

“Of course.”

“No?”

Now Lance was the one to gasp.

“Wait, you’ve never watched Gilmore Girls? So I will never know if you’re a Dean, Jess or Logan guy?”

Keith stared at him with an irritated expression on his face.

“Who?”

Lance closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I can’t believe you--”

“Guys,” Veronica interrupted them, “what I wanted to say is that the theme song is by Carole King.”

Then Romelle started singing.

“If you’re out on the road, feeling lonely and so cold. All you have to do is--”

“CALL MY NAME!”

“CALL MY NAME!” both Veronica and Lance sang way too loud.

“And I’ll be there on the next train,” Romelle continued with a giggle in her voice.

The three of them sang the refrain of the song and Keith remembered that he had heard it some time ago, maybe when he skipped through the TV channels. Lance had taken his hand and dramatically sang it right at Keith.

“Where you lead, I will follow, anywhere that you tell me to, if you need, you need me to be with you, I will follow where you lead.”

Keith grinned at him fondly and pulled him closer for a kiss.

Someone whimpered in the front.

“Veronica, stop staring, this is awkward,” Lance said, his lips still close to Keith’s.

“Sorry, it’s just – my heart is so full.”

“Mine too,” Keith whispered and kissed Lance.

~~

Keith observed very closely the arrival of Romelle and Veronica at the McClain’s hotel and the way they were greeted. Romelle had only met the McClain family three times so far but she hugged everyone like she had known them forever. Everyone seemed to be nice and welcoming. Miguel hugged Veronica the longest of them all, called her his 'little girl’; only when he shook Romelle's hand, there was something hesitant at first that Keith easily could have overlooked if he hadn't been staring like he did; Luis was a bit weird and acted funnier than normal but Keith was already used to it by now; Lisa had to hold back the children a bit because they were drawn to the young woman with the beautiful long blonde hair like moths to a flame and didn't want to let her go, especially Nadia. Seeing Rachel hugging Veronica and Romelle made Keith weirdly emotional now that he knew what a hard time they’d been through after Veronica's coming out. He wondered how much effort it had been for both of them to work through whatever had stood between them. Nothing of that all was visible now, except some tears in Veronica’s eyes when she ran her hand through Rachel’s hair and whispered “don’t you wanna cut it?” and Rachel laughed, also with teary eyes, “you know I won’t.”

The hot midday sun was still burning and they came together in a shady part of the pool area, having cool drinks or coffee and some light snacks. There was always someone missing from the table because there was still much to do, especially with the guests around asking questions about the festivities. Lance clung to Veronica but this time Keith couldn’t be mad about it. He understood he wanted to be close to his sister on this important day, to get some comfort from a family member who’s already been through the process of coming out. After some idle conversation Lance stood up and put briefly a hand on Keith’s shoulder before he and Veronica excused themselves for a while because they had some gift-wrapping to do. (Or more: to talk in private.) This brief touch on Keith’s shoulder itself was remarkable already with both Luis and Mary at the table but neither of them said anything or reacted in any way. Only Keith’s heart started racing but he tried to stay calm for the sake of everything. Maybe that was already a gesture for Lance to ease himself into the situation this evening.

Only a minute had passed after the two of them were gone when Romelle, who had changed her Christmas sweater for a light shirt, leaned over the table and looked at Mary.

“Mary, Miguel is not here right now so I wanted to ask you a question,” she said with some determination in her voice.

“Yes, my dear?”

“Veronica and I are getting married in summer.”

“Yes,” Mary said and her eyes fluttered in light confusion. “I know.”

“Veronica probably doesn’t want to admit it but she needs her father to lead her down the aisle. Or however we plan the wedding, we don’t know yet. But she needs him to do that kind of father-daughter-thing. A dance and all.”

“I- I, I understand,” Mary stammered, her eyes flickering to Luis beside her who just looked dumbfounded at the blonde woman. Even Rachel next to her was taken aback by this very direct demand.

“She probably wants to ask him in the next few days and I was wondering if you could maybe talk to him about it first.” Romelle folded her hands together like in prayer but her eyes were more forceful than begging. “So that he’s prepared. That would be really nice.” She added a smile in the end like an afterthought.

Mary put a hand on her own cheek, her eyes scanning Romelle in confusion. “But wouldn’t that spoil the surprise when she asks him?”

Romelle shook her head.

“Do you think he’ll say yes if she asks him right now, in this minute?”

Mary fell quiet.

“To be quite honest with you,” Romelle continued, “all I care about is your daughter’s happiness and if it means to spoil a surprise but the outcome will be a good one, I’m willing to do that. So?”

“I don’t know,” Mary said and changed a look with Luis who shrugged next to her.

“I think this is a good idea, mom,” Rachel said cautiously.

Screw this, Keith thought and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, me too,” Keith said but kept looking at the table in front of him. He knew he went out on a limb by adding to this family conversation but he owed Veronica so much, she deserved a wonderful wedding.

“Please, Mary, think about it,” Romelle pleaded now. “It would mean the world to her, I know that. And I think you know that too.”

Mary sighed and looked back at the young woman.

“Okay. I talk to him tomorrow morning.”

“Thank you so much, Mary, you are a gem!”

The outgoing carefree Romelle Keith had got to know in the last few hours came back to life. He was impressed by how much she cared about Veronica’s happiness and secret wishes and what she was willing to do. He had indeed misjudged her at first, mistaken her for a happy-go-lucky and probably shallow person. How embarrassing, Keith thought. He didn’t know if he was able to put himself in a position like this for Lance, risking a fight with his mother, even though he loved him more than anything in this world.

They picked up the conversation where they had left it off before Romelle's request and soon the mood changed for a better thanks to her and Rachel having a blast talking about their favorite plot twists in movies. Keith didn’t remember how that topic had popped up but he enjoyed listening to them without actually having to talk.

Mary and Luis left after a while but soon Nadia wobbled towards them.

“Hey cutie,” Romelle said, picked her up and put her on her lap. “How are you, little human?”

“Your hair is sooooo long,” the young girl said with bright eyes. Her fingers tried to brush through it but her excitement made her giddy and Romelle winced when Nadia accidentally pulled on it.

“Okay, what about this? We go inside and you can brush my hair and make me a new pigtail, hm?” She squinted her eyes at Nadia and made their noses touch.

Nadia giggled and hugged her, ready to be carried inside.

“Guess I’ll see you later,” Romelle cheered and the two of them went inside.

“So.”

“So.”

“That leaves us here,” Rachel said and took a sip from her coffee. “Are you two ready for tonight?”

“I am for sure. Not sure about Lance though,” Keith admitted.

“Listen, Keith,” she said and put a hand on his shoulder, “he will do this. I know. He’s awfully stubborn when it comes to you. I don’t think you realize this but even I did by now. And I'm not that close to Lance. You know, Lance and I, we haven't talked about his coming out, I mean, after I asked him in the car a few days ago. I don't know what he feels, what he thinks, what he worries about although I wish I did but,” she sighed, “we’re not that close. But that’s fine, I guess. He’s just more connected to Veronica and I get it.”

“Rachel.”

“Yeah?”

“I think Lance is lucky to have you as a sister. And Veronica is lucky too.”

“Keith,” she said quietly and averted her eyes, “I’m not a good person.”

“What, why? Because ages ago you said some mean things or whatever? People change. All the things you’ve done for Lance alone in the last few days, this is more support than someone like me could have ever dreamed about. And Lance knows this. Maybe when tonight's over there will be a time when you two can talk together. You’re like the most supportive person in this family...you fucking pushed me. You’re like a lioness.”

Rachel looked up with a concerned face but started to grin when she met Keith’s also smiling face.

“Yeah, still sorry about that.” She scratched her neck. “I...I always feel like I have to make up for everything I’ve done...and also to my mom for...the way I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ah, nothing.”

Keith didn’t push any further. He had also never been close to Rachel and didn’t dare to cross a line. They had probably talked more in the last few days than all the time the McClains had still lived in Arcadia Bay; he didn't want to ruin this new relationship he had learned to value so much within this short amount of time.

“Um, I know you’re probably sick of talking about business things with all the exams coming up but...”

“What is it?”

Keith squinted his eyes at her with a question on his face.

“I’m trying to learn more about running businesses in general. I don't want to rely on other people that much anymore. And I wanted to ask you if you might tell me something about the hotel? How does it work and all? And how do you want to change it? Just like, some little things.”

Rachel’s eyes brightened at the mention of the hotel. She pushed herself up from the chair and nodded with excitement.

“Absolutely! Oh, I’ll show you the bookkeeping, the reception and my list with ideas! I really need some input from someone else and you'd be perfect! Let’s get going.”

~~

A few hours later Romelle got her wish granted and the two couples and Rachel finally walked along the beach of Varadero. It was warm on this Christmas Eve afternoon and Romelle wore a colorful dress and splashed with her feet through the waves. Keith didn't speak much but looked at the people around him. This could be his family next to Adam and Shiro. He could be part of it. To some extent he already was and it filled his heart with both pain and happiness. He didn't want to lose them. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever.

“What did you do to papá?” Veronica asked Lance and linked arms with him.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never seen him like that around me and Romelle,” she said quietly. “He used to be so tense but now he was...almost relaxed.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t do anything.”

“Um,” Rachel chimed in, “I’m not sure either but I think he’s working through some stuff.”

They all looked at her with a question mark on their faces.

“What do you mean?”

Rachel shrugged. “I’ve seen him spending much time looking at old pictures and stuff. He cried a lot lately, especially since...”

“Since when?”

Rachel looked at Veronica with a painful face. 

“Since you told us about your engagement.”

“Fuck this, seriously,” Veronica said angrily.

“No, sis, no,” Rachel tried to calm her and took her hand, “not like that, more the other way around. I don’t know what is haunting him or what issues he has but I think deep down he wants to be better. To you.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Well, I wanted to be better.”

Veronica stopped walking and the rest of the group came to a halt as well.

“Rachel,” she said softly, “we’ve been through this so many times.”

“I know. And I think dad wants to start going through with this too. I think it has something to do with his brother, I heard him and mom mentioning him when...he was a bit sad the other day.”

Keith cocked his ears. There he was again, the brother he didn’t know anything about. 'You remind me of my brother', Miguel had said to him the day before and Keith didn't know what it had meant.

“What about his brother?” he asked and everyone looked at him, even Romelle had joined the conversation. Rachel tilted his head, obviously demanding a reason why he barged into the private conversation between the sisters.

He swallowed down the pain that accumulated in his heart when he remembered the whole conversation with Miguel.

“Your dad talked to me last night about my family and he--”

“What?” Lance asked and Keith realized that he hadn’t told him that detail of the conversation yet because he hadn’t thought it was important.

“He said I reminded him of his brother.”

Silence fell for a moment.

“Sorry, I only just remembered,” he added quietly for Lance.

“The only thing I know about his brother is that he died when dad was a young teenager. He basically raised him after his parents had passed away,” Rachel explained.

“Maybe that gave him some closure?”

Their heads turned towards Romelle.

“What?” she asked. “He sees Keith who reminds him of his dead brother but sees how successful and happy Keith is. It’s like something of his brother lives on, even if it’s in his almost foster-son. That’s a positive thing!”

Everyone was deadly quiet until Veronica started speaking.

“Honey, you’re crying,” she said carefully and tried to lead her away from the others. Romelle refused.

“So what?” she said roughly and wiped away the tears, “closure hurts because you think you forget the person who’s gone. But they’re never gone. They’re always in your heart and you spread the impact they made on you all your life to others. Everyone is immortal. Now has anyone a tissue? This dress doesn’t have pockets.”

Rachel fumbled a paper tissue out of the small bag she was carrying.

“Here.”

“Thanks.” Romelle blew her nose. “Don’t worry about me. I know people are always shocked when I cry like this. I lost my younger brother in a shooting last year and I promised I will never shut up about him. So you have to deal with me crying, that’s just how it is.”

Keith was in awe. He realized it was probably inappropriate to feel that way in this moment but he was astonished how this young woman didn’t give a fuck about how people dealt with her grieving.

Veronica smiled at her in a way that told him she had seen her girlfriend reacting that way already a couple of times and didn't need to be protected. Nevertheless she wrapped her arm around her waist for some comfort and Romelle stepped closer to her. Keith's gaze automatically wandered to Lance and their eyes found each other. Some kind of electricity buzzed through Keith's body when the corner of Lance's mouth lift up to a barely visible smile. This situation burned itself into Keith's mind but he couldn't decipher what kind of impact it had made to him. Maybe at a later point.

“Yeah, maybe Keith did fix something in him,” Veronica said and interrupted Keith's thoughts when she picked up the conversation like it was nothing. Romelle didn’t look like she wanted to talk about her brother, she only wanted everyone to know that fact about her. "Maybe Keith is really our prince in shining armor coming to save the day," Veronica said.

"You mean: the dad," Lance added and everyone laughed. Keith didn't feel like laughing but humor had always been a coping mechanism for Lance and Veronica, so he understood.

“You know...I want to ask him to lead me to the altar. Maybe...maybe he’ll say yes. Romelle was brave enough to talk to mom so he can start thinking about it.” The blonde woman squeezed her hand. 

“Of course he will say yes,” Lance said. “And if he won’t, I will!”

Veronica kissed him on his cheek.

“You’re national treasure, baby brother.”

“International, if you please!” Rachel said.

“Actually, intergalactic,” Keith said, hugged him from behind and kissed him on his cheek.

~~

The afternoon went by and soon it was 5 pm and Keith was trying to find Lance after he had taken a shower to wash off the beach’s sand. He hadn’t been in his room or in Veroncia’s so he wandered through the hotel to search for him until he heard some noise in the kitchen.

“Hey,” he said when he saw Lance standing in front of the oven wearing an apron and some oven mitts. His hair was mussy and his cheeks were glowing from the heat in the small room.

“Heya Keith.” Carefully he took out a baking sheet.

Keith crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

“You look very kissable,” he said with a smug smile on his face and his heart did some hiccups when Lance stared at him with big eyes and cookies in his hands. Then Lance’s eyes nervously flickered somewhere to his right side.

There was a deep chuckle, a cupboard got closed and revealed Luis behind it. Keith swallowed. He hadn’t seen him. Oh dear.

“Don’t hit on my brother, Keith. I bet you don’t wanna get in trouble with your boyfriend,” he teased and laughed again. Despite the grin on his face, there was something very serious in his eyes, something that said ‘don’t you dare’, something almost aggressive.

Keith hadn’t thought about using his power for a considerable long time now but in this moment he felt the urge to either bury himself in the ground or reverse it. That wish became stronger when he saw Lance still staring in his direction, his eyes unfocused and his glove-covered hands slightly shaking with the cookie sheet in them. Oh no, there it was again, a bad flashback. Keith tried to shake off his own thoughts and was next to Lance in a matter of seconds, wrapping his own hands around a dish towel to take the hot baking sheet out of Lance’s hands.

“Are you okay?” Keith mumbled next to him, praying that Luis would leave. Lance didn’t say anything so Keith led him to a chair and helped him sit down. Carefully he removed the apron and the gloves. He didn’t care what Luis was thinking, he seemed to be busy with filling some glasses with lemonade anyway.

“I was joking, Lance,” Luis said with a grunt, obviously mistaking the missing reaction with a lack of humor. “Don’t be so serious.”

Keith closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Don’t freak out now, Keith. Slowly he turned around to face Lance’s older brother.

“Your joke wasn’t funny, Luis.”

Luis raised an eyebrow but Keith didn’t have eyes for him anymore. He softly touched the skin next to Lance’s eyes with the fingertips of one hand, carefully studying the rapid movement of his pupils.

“It’s okay, Lance, I’m here, everything’s fine,” he whispered, the fingers of his other hand softly wrapping around Lance's wrist.

“What is wrong with him?” Luis asked and stepped closer. “Lance?” There was clear panic in his voice and that was something Keith couldn't have right now. “Should I call the ambulance? Oh God--”

“No, no, he will be fine,” Keith quickly interrupted him. “It happens sometimes when he's stressed. No need to worry. You can give me a glass of water. Please.”

Luis got to work and Keith kept looking at his boyfriend. Slowly his eye movements got calmer; there was a moment of recognition when Lance got back. When he focused his eyes on Keith for the first time, Keith sighed with relief.

“You’re back”, he whispered and softly caressed Lance’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” Lance said with a strangled voice, his eyes were still flickering from side to side but it meant that it was almost over.

“Here’s some water.”

Lance looked up. A more than worried Luis stood next to him, in his shaky hand a glass of cold water.

“Thanks, Luis,” Keith said for Lance, took the glass and helped Lance to take a sip.

“I’m tired,” Lance mumbled and his head fell forward on Keith’s shoulder. Without having to communicate with each other both Luis and Keith helped Lance up the stairs into his room and bed.

“He just needs some sleep and then he will feel better,” Keith said and covered him with a light bed sheet. “You don’t have to worry.”

"You said it's caused by stress?"

"Yeah, he has it for a while now. He blacks out, like some kind of fit. It doesn't last long but he's often tired after that."

"Does he take any medicine? What does the doctor say?"

"Um. No meds and I don't know what it's exactly called. But he's fine, really." He couldn't possibly come up with a better description of the side effects of reversing time.

“Alright," Luis said hesitantly and couldn't hide that he wasn't entirely happy with Keith's explanation. They looked at Lance curled up in his bed. "Let’s go then. Give the boy some rest.”

Keith shook his head and was about to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I’m staying with him.”

“I don’t think so,” Luis said and pulled Keith out of the room. He did it without much pressure but there was a hidden strength behind his fingers he most certainly was about to use if Keith didn’t comply. The door closed and the two men stood in front of each other. Keith had waited for this conversation for some days now and he wondered if this time he wasn’t mistaken what this conversation could possibly be about.

“Listen, Keith, I like you but...”

Yup, Keith thought, that’s the conversation.

“...you gotta stop sending all these...wrong signals.”

Keith furrowed his brows and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“What do you mean?”

Nothing was better than starting a fight by playing dumb at first, a hotheaded voice in his mind said. And he was fully prepared to get into a fight with Lance’s brother, he had been prepared since the dreadful first dinner. Another more responsible voice in his head told him that this was probably the worst idea he had this week so far. He settled on letting Luis talk first.

Luis scratched his nose nervously.

“You know what I mean.”

“No, actually I don’t, Luis.”

“I know you two are close friends for a long time now but, listen man, I don’t like seeing my little brother confused.”

“Confused? How?”

“I mean, with you being, you know, gay.”

Wow, Keith thought bitterly.

“I’m not confused, I am gay.”

“I mean Lance.”

“What?”

“It’s like, and I’m not the only one who sees this, Keith, so don’t play me for a fool now. You confuse him because...it’s like you’re hitting on him, flirting with him. Making love eyes and all.”

Keith’s mouth fell open. The next question fell off his lips too fast to evaluate the possible consequences.

“And why would that be so bad?”

His heart beat fast but he kept his arms close to his chest, keeping his emotions in check. Kind of.

“You know exactly why. Come on, man.”

“LUIS?” someone shouted from downstairs.

“COMING. I gotta help my wife run some errands now. So please, Keith. Think about it.”

Keith was at loss of words when Luis smiled at him in a both sad and sympathetic way and turned around to walk towards the staircase.

“Luis, wait,” he shouted and ran after him. “Please.” Great, now he was begging. “Why would it be so bad?” His voice was low and lost and cracking and he hated himself for it.

Luis took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, helplessly looking around as if he hoped for someone to appear next to them.

“I can’t believe I’m the one who has to talk to you,” he sighed. “But I guess I have to. Okay, truth to be told this is not a topic I am very comfortable with. I don’t know why, you know, a man would love a man or a woman a woman and all that.”

What a surprise, not, Keith thought, and he his body felt began to tense more. Quickly he crossed his arms again and tried to steady his breathing. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest any second now.

“It’s weird to me and my wife really tries to explain everything to me. I guess I’m a lost cause sometimes,” he chuckled which was on one hand weirdly inappropriate but then again oddly fitting to this situation. At least he was trying to understand things, Keith thought.

“So I don’t mind you being, you know, gay. That’s your business. But I care about my brother. We all do.”

“I still don’t know what this is about.”

“I’m saying this now as clear as possible because I just want the best for Lance and I'm sure you do too, okay?" He looked quickly looked around, checking if someone was around them, then he turned back to Keith with the most serious expression he had ever seen on Luis' face. "You have to stop acting like you want something from him. I didn’t take you for someone who does that kind of thing, I thought you’d be better and,” he took another deep breath, “I actually think it’s best if you leave a few days earlier. I know you have the money to book a different flight. It would give Lance some time to rest. And after the thing you pulled just now I think that’s for the best for everyone, even you.” He put a heavy hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Alright?”

When Keith found himself unable to answer or react in any way Luis turned around again and started walking. With all his might Keith ignored the cracks in his heart on the verge of breaking into a million pieces and ran after him again, now positioning himself right in front of Luis.

“Why am I not good enough?” he asked out of breath from the panic that had manifested in him. It was the most painful question he had ever asked, a question he had never known an answer to and suddenly there was someone who seemed to know it, the answer to why Keith was never good enough for anybody, why he always got pushed away and got left alone. But this time this question was more serious than ever because it revolved around Keith's future with Lance. This was Lance's family telling him he wasn't good enough for his son.

“Why?" he asked again. "At least have the decency to tell me why I'm not good enough for Lance."

"Isn't it obvious?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooff....  
> i asked my friend on twitter whether to end it with a cliffhanger or not and you can blame her for choosing the cliffhanger. i am already sorry but i probably won't have any time to write until new year cause from now on i'll be surrounded by people 24/7 for the rest of the year...ummm. if the cliffhanger upsets you in some way, i can text you the first draft with the rest of the scene.  
> i'm @worstmission on twitter though i tend to forget i have that account but i check in daily. or just worstmissionever on tumblr. have a lovely rest of the year and if you have a stressful time for whatever reason i hope you find some comfort in good things, like fanfictions - sure enough they help me all the time to deal with life. also feel free to write me whenever you want to, i'm a gryffindor with strong hufflepuff tendencies and according to a buzzfeed quiz i should pilot the red lion. also did you know someone called anne MCCLAIN is currently on the international space station? this is your best fun fact of the week.


	8. Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is the summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "what is happening, no musical song as chapter title?"  
> NOPE. i know, i feel weird as well.  
> happy new year everyone, hope you're doing well :) let's go back to varadero, cuba. i missed them all and i am excited about this chapter.

###  **Lance**

**24th December, Christmas Eve, Part 2.**

Lance woke up to a knock on his door. He needed some seconds to be awake enough to realize a) where he was and b) how he had got here. Question a) was easy to answer: he was in bed in his hotel room. Question b) was more difficult to answer. The kitchen. That was the last place he remembered. He’d been busy making cookies when Keith had entered and...oh God.

He had flirted with him. He had said something like...yeah, Lance remembered now.

“You look kissable.”

They had been Keith’s exact words, obviously not having seen Luis standing on the other side behind the open door of a cupboard. Then Lance had blacked out. It had been the well-known feeling of losing grip of existence, swimming in black nothingness with glimpses of memories he didn’t know whether they were real or not. It had happened so often by now it shouldn't scare him that much anymore but it did. It was always scary.

Then Keith had been at his side, soothing him until he had gotten back, like he always did. Piece by piece the memories came back to him. Keith and Luis had led him back to his room, tucked him into bed and left him alone to rest.

Luis had to be worried, Lance thought. He hoped he hadn’t told their mother about it and freaked her out, too. That was honestly the last thing he needed today.

Lance kicked away the bed sheet and sat up, glancing at the clock on the desk. Shortly after 6 pm. He hadn’t slept more than an hour. He still felt groggy and weak but he could tell that the dizziness of his thoughts was solely blamed on the nap and not anymore on the time-reverse-fit. (They really should come up with a proper name for that. Or a funny abbreviation.)

He took his phone that someone had put on the shelf next to his bed and sent a short message to Keith, telling him he was awake now, feeling better and was about to take a shower before dinner. His boyfriend was probably also worried. He wondered what kind of explanation Keith had given Luis to explain what had happened to him. Hopefully it had been convincing.

Lance grunted. They hadn’t really thought this through.

Speaking of Keith: before he had fallen asleep, he had heard voices shouting in the hallway in front of his room. One of them had been Keith. Lance closed his eyes, trying to summon the exact words he had heard, but there was nothing. He couldn’t tell. Maybe Keith would explain to him later what that argument had been about. He was too tired to worry about it now.

Christmas dinner was happening at 7 pm so he turned on some upbeat pop music on his phone and started his Christmas-dinner-where-I-will-come-out-to-my-family-and-introduce-Keith-as-my-boyfriend routine in the bathroom - which wasn’t much different to any other routine he did before a special event except his anxiety was filling out the bathroom like steam after a long hot shower. He had managed to push away most of his fear, even to a point where he almost felt numb, but a part of his mind always knew that it had been a big lie. The anxiety was _always_ buzzing beneath his skin and he had tried to hide this fact from Keith as good as possible.

45 minutes later he was ready and stared at himself in the mirror. He’d chosen a nice and more formal outfit even though his family didn’t make a big deal about Christmas. In the last few years everyone had worn casual clothes during the Christmas days, shorts even or tank tops. It hadn’t mattered. Lance sighed. Luis would probably make fun of his jeans, his dark blue (but very light) sweater and sneakers. The temperature was 77 degrees Fahrenheit, about 25 degrees Celsius, and until tonight Lance had only worn shorts and shirts.

Whatever. It made him feel more comfortable. His body was covered with fabric and gave him a sense of protection...or something to hide in. He looked closely at his face in the mirror.

“So, that’s it,” he said to himself, watching his mouth and eyes move. “Okay, this is weird.” He closed his eyes for a moment and thought about sitting downstairs at the table with his family around him. Immediately the sickness in his stomach got stronger. The last days here in Varadero with Keith had been exhausting to him. Exhausting because all he had thought about was how to come out to his family and, in very scared moments...if he should do it after all. Maybe he should just…

No.

The Lance in the mirror shook his head.

“No, you’re doing this,” he said. “Vero knows, Romelle knows, Rachel knows. Even Sylvio knows. I have to do it for Sylvio. He can’t...”

He shook his head.

“I promised myself to do that and I want to. I need to. Keith needs me to do it, too.”

The feeling of guilt towards Keith was stronger than ever. Keith didn’t deserve a coward like him; Keith deserved someone who screamed “I love this guy” from the top of his lungs at everyone in this world, including his parents. It wasn’t a secret to him that Keith had a hard time with Lance’s avoidance dance when it came to his coming out. Sure, they talked about it in general every day but not in detail. And Lance knew how much it got on Keith’s nerves – that he couldn’t find himself to be able to just...get over with it. But he also knew that his boyfriend understood or at least tried his best to.

If that situation itself hadn't been stressful enough his father had dropped the whole emotional info-bomb on Keith that made him fall to the ground in every sense. Although he had appeared to be more stable this morning, Lance knew it wasn't over yet. It would take a lot of time and strength for him to work through it. But Lance would be with him, like he had told him over and over again. And maybe Keith would start to open up to him with all the little things he hadn't told him yet.

Of some things Lance knew. Of course he did. But not because Keith had told him but because Lance...he just _knew_. But he wished he'd tell him. He didn't have to fight on his own, keeping every thought that bothered him to himself. A concept still hard to grasp for Keith but Lance did what he thought was the right thing: giving him time and space but also telling him and showing him that he was always there for him.

Sometimes Lance wondered if Keith was aware of  _how well_ he knew him. He shook his head again. The coming out, that’s what this night was about. It was important to both of them. They had to deal with everything else later.

He took a deep breath and let all air out of his lungs until his body ached for oxygen and he breathed normally again; it was something he had copied from Keith. It calmed him a bit and felt like a fresh start. He focused his eyes on the ones in the mirror again.

“I am in love with Keith. That’s what matters in the end. They won’t leave me, my family loves me. It will be alright. They love Keith. They love me. It will be fine. Everything will be fine. If I cry it will be okay. Crying is okay. Keith is here, Vero is here, Rachel is here. I’ll be okay.”

His words were just whispers someone who looked like him told him like mantras quietly in the mirror.

“Screw this, we survived deaths, how hard can it be to tell my family I love Keith?” The Lance in the mirror looked angry for a moment, then the face relaxed and he chuckled.

“This is so ridiculous. They always say I am ridiculous. But that’s okay. I’m okay. Or...will be.”

There was a knock on the door and Lance’s heart made a jump, powering up the anxiety in his body. He stepped away from the mirror.

“Come in.”

Keith entered the room with some hesitation.

“I said come in,” Lance repeated and smiled at his boyfriend. He was sure his smile had to look tense but his body couldn’t relax anymore. “You look nice,” Lance said because Keith looked nice.

He wore a dark red shirt, black light trousers and his hair looked even fluffier than usual. Lance wanted to run his hand through it – and then elope with him to the other side of the earth to avoid everything that was about to happen this evening.

“You too.” Keith stepped towards him and took his hands.

“I know,” Lance said quietly and looked at their interlocked fingers, “cold hands.”

Keith didn’t say a thing but smiled warmly at him, then he stepped closer to embrace Lance. For a long time neither of them said a word but stayed in a hug that started out firm and tight until both of them relaxed more and more.

When they were only lazily clinging to each other, Keith spoke again.

“Are you ready, Lancey?”

After some long silent seconds, Lance answered.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

~~

The table was set when they entered the breakfast room, only now it didn’t feel like a hotel breakfast room at all. Someone, probably Luis, had moved the Christmas Tree from the lobby into the room, there were decorations and tinsel on the walls. The big table was full of fancy plates, silverware, napkins with pictures on it, some salads and other appetizers. In the background some English Christmas music was playing.

Lance had never seen decorations like this in his family home in years.

“They did this just for you,” he said to Keith and grinned. A faint blush appeared on Keith’s face as he mumbled something to dismiss it. The two of them were only alone for a couple of seconds before the rest of the family appeared in the room. Mary and Miguel carried some more food and put it on the table and Lisa helped the children to sit down. The room started to get loud, a constant conversation ongoing. This is what family dinners had always been like: there was never silence. There was always someone talking, more often several people having different conversations. Family was loud.

Rachel entered the room wearing her favorite white dress again and playfully nudged Lance’s shoulder.

The newfound bond to his older sister had surprised Lance. It was very thin but had the ability to grow stronger and he welcomed it. And it surprised him how much time Keith had already spent with Rachel. He hadn’t expected that. Rachel had always been different, had always been far away and hadn’t been interested in the rest of the family. At least that was what he had always thought. But then she had even moved back to Cuba instead of staying in Portland. And after Veronica’s coming out she had tried harder to be a part of the family. Sometimes he felt there was a lot more to Rachel he didn’t know about and it made him sad. She was family after all. And he loved her. But even though having lived together in one household for years, he didn’t know much about her.

“You alright?” Rachel asked and brought Lance back to reality. Her eyes looked like his in the mirror, worried and tense. But there was also encouragement in them.

He nodded slowly.

“I guess.”

She smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder before they took their seats at the table. They had added two chairs for Romelle and Veronica. Lance was sitting between Keith and Veronica - who entered the room in a hurry with her fiancee by her side.

“Sorry, we lost track of time,” she said out of breath and glanced at the clock at the wall. It was 7.05 pm. “We were downtown and got, um, stuck. In traffic."

Lance raised his eyebrows at his sister who made a grimace at him. Sure, stuck in traffic. He looked at Keith, checking if he thought the same and according to the grin on his face, yes, he did. Somehow this little thing helped Lance to get rid of a tiny piece of anxiety. There were two people in love like him and Keith and they were okay.

It would be okay, he told himself for the hundredth time this day alone.

Luis sat down last but didn’t offer any kind of explanation why he had arrived ten minutes later. Lance thought about the loud voices in the hallway two hours ago. The other voice had been Luis, he was sure know. He had forgotten to ask Keith about it, damn. He made a mental note to ask him later. There was nothing to be done about it now. Hopefully it hadn’t been something bad. Keith would have told him if it had been bad, wouldn't he? Lance pulled himself together and smiled at Luis. He wanted everyone on this table to be happy. Happy enough to have the strength to bear with the...the thing...he was about to tell them later.

Luis looked at him and mouthed “are you okay?” over the several conversations that had already started. No one held a speech before dinner, everyone had just begun eating the food on the table.

Lance nodded and gave him a thumbs up. It had to be scary for him to see Lance collapse like that in the kitchen before but he couldn’t think about it any further. There was a different task at hand, a mission he had to complete.

Dinner went by quicker than he had hoped. Soon the main course had started and he wished he had been able to enjoy the food more but eating was difficult when one felt sick as fuck.

It was hard for him to follow the conversations and take part in them but he tried his best. Luis kept looking at him weirdly and he hated it. Lance added to the list in his head to tell Luis that he didn’t need to worry about his health. Apparently Keith hadn't been convincing enough but he couldn't blame him. It had been a fucked up situation and he had only tried to do what he thought was best for Lance: making sure he was alright. And Lance was thankful for just that.

Miguel was quiet as usual but also unusually happy. Veronica had been right: he had changed a bit. The look on his face was something special. Mary seemed to have noticed too because she looked at him the same way Miguel looked at everyone sitting around the table: like he couldn’t believe it. Like he was a silent spectator of something good happening.

The faint echo of a future pain sounded through Lance’s body. He was about to destroy it all in some minutes. Gosh, he was really a bad person, wasn’t he?

Romelle, Lisa and the children were playing a game together where the children had to cover their eyes for a moment so that Romelle or Lisa could change something on the table in front of them and then they had to tell them what it was. The four of them giggled quite a lot which added something very light to the atmosphere at the table.

Meanwhile Veronica and Keith talked about some childhood memories.

“So you seriously can’t remember?”

“No, I can’t,” Keith claimed again. Veronica pressed her lips together with a wicked glint in her eyes.

“I was a supergirl and you and Lance were dressed as astronauts.”

“Space explorers!” Keith corrected.

“Oh so you do remember!” Veronica yelled and slammed her hand on the table.

“I remember our outfits, that’s all.” Veronica’s eyes probed him until he looked down at his plate. “Well, maybe I remember a bit.”

Lance tried to join the conversation.

“Remember what?” he asked.

“Keith seemed to have _forgot_ _ten_ ,” she said with air quotes, “what that one Halloween was like.”

“Oh,” Lance said and giggled, “you mean that Halloween when Keith was dressed as the grumpiest space explorer ever?”

Veronica laughed out loud while Keith tried to stare Lance down.

“I wasn’t grumpy.”

Vero and Lance locked eyes with each other.

“Yeah, he was.”

“Definitely.”

“He can’t deny it.”

“We have photographic proof.”

“Oh yes, we have.”

“Come on, Keith, remeeeeember.”

Keith dropped his head and his chin touched his chest in defeat.

“Alright, alright,” he grunted, “maybe I was a bit..." He looked up and squinted his eyes. "Moody?”

“MOODY,” both Veronica and Lance howled in high-pitched voices.

“ _Moody_ , I can’t even,” Lance laughed. “Moody.” He poked Keith in his shoulder. “You weren’t moody, you were a pain in the ass.”

“I wasn’t!” he snapped back but without any bite.

“Yeah, you were,” Lance said and smiled broadly at him until Keith’s stern face crumbled and he smiled back.

“I was young?” he tried as a defense.

“And feisty.”

“And adorable,” Veronica said, giving Lance a little wink.

“Hey, I’d be upset too if I had dropped my bag of hard-earned candy in a pond.” Lance put a soothing hand on Keith’s shoulder but couldn’t get rid of the smile on his face. He didn't want to tease Keith that much in public but he couldn't help himself.

“Thank you, Lance,” Keith growled.

“Why did you drop it?” Rachel asked curiously. She’d been the only one at the table who hadn’t been engaged in a conversation but apparently had listened to them all the time.

Keith opened his mouth to speak but Lance was quicker.

“Well, we were dressed as space explorers so obviously we played space explorers on our way back home. We did a small detour in some, um, forbidden territory. Things got a bit...intense,” he said with a side glance to Veronica, “when--”

“I scared them, alright?” Veronica interrupted him by bursting out into laughter. “They were imagining to do some science stuff near that one pond in a neighbor’s garden who hated us sneaking in so I jumped out of the bushes between them, pretending to be the neighbor, and--”

“Keithy here,” Lance said and shook Keith’s shoulder with the hand that was still resting on it, “he was a bit, hmm, jumpy.”

Keith rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.

“I kinda screamed and threw my bag full of candy into the pond,” he said flatly.

This time the whole table broke out into laughter.

Lance looked around. The others had listened as well. His mother, his father, Luis, Lisa, the children and Romelle. They all chuckled, laughed, smiled and grinned. He looked back at Keith. He was blushing but smiled widely, his eyes flickered to Lance, unsure how long it was appropriate to look at each other. Quickly Lance looked away, down at the table, while his hand was reaching out for Keith’s hand resting in his lap without anyone else to see. He felt Keith’s eyes briefly on him when he took his hand and pulled it closer to him until their hands with interlocked fingers hang between them and their seats. Lance was happy. In this moment he was oh so very happy. Because everyone else was happy too. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Holding Keith's hand with his family all around him, even if they couldn't see it. Keith had always been family. But he was so much more to him. 

They would understand.

He was sure. 

“I couldn’t get Keith to smile on the picture we took when you were back home,” Mary said and Lance focused his concentration back on the conversation.

“Oh God, you remember it, too?” Keith asked under his breath.

"How could I forget?" she laughed. "Luis tried to make you laugh by making funny faces."

"You had a face of stone," Luis chimed in and chuckled.

Miguel said nothing but winked at Keith in amusement. Lance kept looking at his family. He loved them all so much. Everyone at this table.

“So I heard there was a picture of that fateful day?” Romelle asked. “I feel left out, I wanna see that picture.”

"Me too," Lisa said and the children nodded excitedly, especially Sylvio.

Rachel chuckled but there was something sad in her voice.

“Definitely. I wanna see grumpy Keith.” True, she had already been living in Portland at that time.

“I’m gonna show you later,” Lance promised and squeezed Keith’s hand. The others kept the conversation going about shared memories from the past.

“Do you--” Keith started to whisper to Lance but stopped mid-sentence.

“Hm?”

Lance looked back at Keith. His eyes lingered on Lance’s chin.

“Keith?”

Keith gazed up at him and bit his lips.

“Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I was...I'm bit tired, is all.”

“Bad tired?”

Keith’s eyes flickered back at Lance’s chin and Lance had the urge to scrub it. Maybe he had a crumble of something there?

“I’ll tell you later,” Keith said slowly. He let go of Lance's hand and used his free fingers to softly push away Lance's other hand that was busy fumbling at his chin. "Don't do that."

“Okeh.”

There was no use in pressuring Keith about what was wrong, not in this setting. Overall the atmosphere at the table was still light, uplifting and happy. And a minute later Keith was smiling again. Well, he tried. He knew just like Lance what was coming now; it was only natural if he was nervous too.

“I’m gonna serve dessert now,” Mary said and got up, Luis followed her into the kitchen.

Lance's heart skipped a beat.

This was it.

His cue.

He had promised himself to do this before dessert. He let his eyes gaze around the people at the table, the people close to him. His father seemed to be deep in thoughts. Lisa had Nadia sitting in her lap with Sylvio tiredly resting his head against her arm. Romelle seemed to have a staring contest with Rachel, whatever that was about. Veronica gave Lance a calming smile, well-knowing how he had to feel in this moment. And Keith on his other side seemed to be intrigued by Romelle’s and Rachel’s staring contest as well.

His mother and Luis came back with some cake and other sweets.

“Here you go,” Mary said and everyone took some food and started digging in. Everyone except Lance.

His hands were extraordinary cold and his heart beat so fast he could almost feel it in his throat. There was a tingling in all of his body. He was super aware of his body and existence, super-conscious even, but at the same time, nothing felt real, not even a bit. His breath was shallow as he tried to start talking.

Just do it, he told himself. Just do it now and it will be over soon.

“Um, hello everyone,” Lance said and looked up.

“Hello mijo,” his mother said, slightly irritated. The others eyed him curiously.

Well of-fucking-course, who said in the middle of a dinner suddenly ‘hello everyone’? Lance McClain did, what a stupid thing.

Quickly he coughed and tried to sit up straight – which he immediately thought was the funniest thing ever because he was sitting up straight to tell them he was most certainly not straight. He covered his mouth to hide a burst of nervous laugther. Great, now he was feeling funny and had the urge to laugh about every tiny thing. God, had there always been little butterflies on the tablecloth? It’s Christmas and not Butterflymas….And that’s not even funny but he had to bite his lips to suppress a giggle. He tried to pull himself together.

He couldn’t and didn’t want to look at Keith or Veronica next to him so he let his eyes flicker between the rest his family.

“Um, that was a nice dinner, mom. Your cooking was amazing, as usual.” He knew his voice was very likely sounding weird and tense but he needed to start out slow.

“Thank you, Luis and Lisa helped,” she said with a kind smile to both of them.

“Um, cool.”

Gosh, Lance wanted to hide. Under the table and then drill a hole into the ground and dig a tunnel to Arcadia Bay, hiding under Hunk’s bed for the rest of Earth’s existence. That’d be nice, that’d be really...urgh.

Talk.

“Um, and it’s nice that we’re all together here, tonight, on Christmas Eve.”

He looked around and dang, why did he get the feeling that only half of them were listening to him? Romelle didn’t look at him, Rachel was busy staring at the table and Keith? He seemed to do some intense thinking in his head according to the look on his face. So much for having his back.

Screw them all. He would do this no matter how bloody it was about to get.

“So actually I have something to tell you all and--”

He stopped.

There was a telephone ringing, the hotel’s landline at the reception.

“Who calls at this time?” Mary asked and looked at the clock. “It’s Christmas Eve, 10 pm.”

“Might be important,” Rachel said and got up.

“No, Rachel, don’t--”

“It's fine, I get it.”

An uncomfortable silence spread across the table as if someone just had died. Well, Lance most certainly did feel like dying. Of course, in the middle of his freaking coming out the phone rang. No one talked which was even worse. ‘I have something to tell you all’. He had already started it, his downfall, the downfall of his family, of his parents. Jeez.

The only thing missing now was the time-reverse-sickness coming to get him. That’d be peachy. But thankfully he felt alright – at least in that way. No mind tricks tonight, he thought. He had already got his fair share this afternoon.

The phone conversation seemed to take ages and Lance did his best to avoid direct eye contact with anyone. Then finally Rachel got back.

“Okay, don’t freak out but the police just called.”

Everyone’s eyes were on her. She was still standing in the door frame and motioned everyone to be quiet.

“Near your house,” she said to her parents, ”there were some break-ins this evening and they wanted to check in with everyone living in this area.”

“We didn’t see anything, we were here the whole time,” Mary said with irritation.

“Yeah, I told them but they want to make sure no one broke into your house as well. They said they were very, um, careful with not leaving any traces. Just a quick check, that's all they wanna do. And ask if you have seen something suspicious the last weeks.”

Miguel sighed and got up from his chair.

“I go,” he said.

“I’ll drive you,” Luis offered in a heartbeat.

“I go too,” Mary said. “You wouldn’t even know if they had stolen something, Miguel.”

Miguel huffed and took her hand.

“Venga,” he said.

“I’m sure it won’t take long,” Luis added and followed his parents outside.

No one talked until they heard the door slam shut.

Lance stared at Rachel until she looked right back at him. She was now standing in front of the large table, her fingertips nervously tipping against the surface.

“I’m sorry,” she said to him. She didn’t only look like she was truly sorry but also sad and exhausted, like she couldn’t believe this just had happened.

“Yeah,” Lance breathed and looked down. He was confused as well. He didn’t care that Lisa was still at the table. His moment was gone. He felt bitter. Lost. Hopeless. Tired.

That was it.

His moment of being brave was gone forever. The brief time window had closed. 

He would fly back home and never tell his parents about Keith, right?

He closed his eyes.

No, of course not.

He’d tell them later then. Tomorrow. Breakfast. Lunch. Coffee time. Dinner. He just..needed to...be a bit flexible. He could do that, of course he could. He tried to take a deep breath. It'd work out, only a bit different, that was all.

“Hey Lance,” Rachel said.

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen?”

“I’m not in the mood to--”

“Lance, please. It’s important.”

He sighed. Rachel looked like she was truly pleading and he couldn’t have that. She was his sister, she shouldn’t have to plead.

“Alright, coming,” he said and got up. On his way outside he realized that he hadn’t even looked at Keith or Veronica. Way to go, Lance, you preoccupied, selfish little-- no. Not helpful.

He turned around. Veronica looked as sorry as he felt. Keith seemed to be almost upset. Of course he was. Even Romelle looked worried. Just great, Lance.

“So did you manage to make Keith smile again?” Rachel asked when the two of them had entered the kitchen and closed the door behind them.

“What are you talking about?” Lance asked. Keith? Smile? What?

“That Halloween, when he was all grumpy.”

“Oh, yeah.” He ruffled his hands through his hair, messing it up because that was how he felt: like a mess. “I shared my candy with him.”

“That’s nice.”

“It has nothing to do with being nice, he’s my best friend. I love him. I’d give him anything,” Lance said, a strong hint of anger in his voice. Wow, where did this come from?

Rachel seemed to be taken aback as well and took half a step back.

“I know that, Lance.”

“Yeah, but not everyone on that fucking table knows because you had to pick up the damn phone!”

The moment the words had left his mouth he regretted them. He hated to be snappy at others when he was upset, to talk without thinking it through.

“No, fuck, sorry, it’s your hotel, I shouldn’t--”

Rachel stepped forward and put her hands on Lance’s shoulders.

“Lance. Stop. Breathe.” She smiled weakly at him. “I said breathe. And relax for fuck’s sake.” She softly shook his shoulders. “Relax.”

Lance took a deep breath and exhaled. He watched her doing the same.

“Good. Oof, I needed that too. Anyway. First of all no need to be sorry, okay? You are right. I shouldn’t have picked up the phone, it’s Christmas Eve.” She bit her lip. “I’m really sorry about that. Like, immensely. About everything. I'm so fucking sorry.”

“Don't beat yourself up. It was important after all,” Lance admitted and sighed, giving her the same weak smile. “Um, anyway. What do you want to talk about?” He leaned against the kitchen counter, his arms folded before his chest.

“Um.” Suddenly Rachel looked very unsure. “I just...wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Lance tilted his head.

“That’s all? You were kinda freaky. And said it was important.”

Rachel’s eyes flickered through the room, to the door back to the others and to Lance.

“Um. Maybe it’s not important.” She looked back to the door, obviously thinking about leaving. “Maybe--”

“Rachel.”

She turned back to him.

“Whatever it is, you can talk to me.”

“I said it’s not important, it’s--”

“No,” Lance said and shook his head. “It is important to you. We wouldn’t be standing here right now if it wasn’t important.”

For a moment he thought he had a conversation with Keith. When something was bothering Keith and he wanted to talk about it but also didn’t want to bother anyone. Or when he thought he could deal with it alone. In times like that Lance had to use a soft form of pressure to make him talk, just to show him he cares. But this time it was his sister in front of him who hesitantly walked up to him and leaned against the counter next to him, mirroring his pose with folded arms.

Lance just waited, checking out the kitchen, trying not to pressure her any further.

“Well, there are a lot of things on my mind right now,” Rachel finally said, her voice a bit shaky. “Very confusing evening.”

Lance hummed in agreement.

“Um. I know I kinda blow your coming out and all--”

“No, Rach, you didn’t, okay? The police did.”

“Yeah...”

“So? What’s up?”

She looked at him, slightly shy.

“When, when did you realize you were bi?”

Lance’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God, are you bi?” he burst out.

“No, no Lance, I’m not,” she said with half a smile. She didn’t add anything else so Lance answered as best as he could.

“When I met Keith again in September I pretty soon realized that I felt different towards him but...it took me some weeks to, um, acknowledge it. To accept it? I thought it couldn’t be true. It was so weird. I never had feelings for a guy before. At least I thought so. In hindsight I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter to me, you know? I’m like that right now. I love Keith.”

“That sounds so easy.”

“It wasn’t though. I had a friend I could talk to, they know about stuff like that and made me feel...I don’t know, comfortable, I guess. Accepted even though I felt confused.”

“...they?”

“One person. They’re non-binary and use the pronoun ‘they/them’. The name’s Pidge.”

“Oh.” Rachel looked at her feet. He knew that look from himself.

“Hey, I didn’t know much about different genders or sexuality, attraction et cetera before I met them. I knew about gay, lesbian, bi and a bit about transgender people but that was it.”

Rachel looked back up at him.

“Pretty weird going through life not knowing how diverse people are," he continued. "I didn’t even know that ace and aro non-binary people exist. Basically I didn’t know someone like Pidge exists.”

It was shameful to say it out loud but it was the truth. Nevertheless he led his gaze away from Rachel, looking at the other side of the kitchen.

“Do you know how fucked up that is? I don’t know why they don’t teach these basics in school. No, they make you suffer and make you think something is wrong with you – put that wrong in air quotes, I’m too lazy to unfold my arms – anyway, it’s heartbreaking. I don’t know if coming out to you all would have been an option if Pidge hadn’t been there in the beginning and made sure I was doing fine. And my other friend Hunk, I mean he’s straight and all but he always knows the right thing to say. Pretty rare those people. He knows when I need a kick in my ass and when I need a hug.”

At the thought of his friends, his heart ached a bit. He missed them a lot. Especially tonight.

“Wow, sorry, I rambled.”

Rachel smiled.

“You do that sometimes.”

Lance chuckled at the words.

“So I’ve been told.”

“Hm. So, you believe in all that?”

“In what?”

“Like...asexuality, aromance. You think this is real?”

Lance eyed her carefully, letting his arms drop to the side of his body.

“What, do you think it’s fake?”

“No, I don’t think that. Do you though?”

“No, of course not?” he almost spat out. “What the fuck, Rachel? I thought--”

“Because I think I am like that.”

Silence.

Rachel stared at the floor.

“Wait. You think you’re aro or ace?”

Lance tried to catch Rachel’s gaze but when it failed he slowly came closer to her side and bumped their shoulders together.

“Yeah,” she finally whispered. “I'm not attracted to people romantically or, you know, sexually. I don't think I've ever been, at least not like everyone else seems to be. Not like Vero, not like...not like you and Keith. Is that weird?” She turned her head around and looked at him and Lance asked himself why he hadn’t noticed before that they both had the same eyes and almost the same face. Although she was thirteen years older than him she looked so much younger. Had Lance looked like that when he had told Pidge he thought he was bi? Vulnerable, unsure, scared? So much younger? Probably. Most definitely.

“No. No, it’s not weird.” He let his head fall down on her shoulder. They’ve never been touchy-feely with each other but he kinda wished now they were. Because he really wanted to hug her. Then he felt her head leaning against his head. “It’s not weird, Rachel,” he repeated. “It’s pretty fucking dope is what is it.”

He hold his breath for a second.

“Well, non-fucking dope, actually.”

“Lance!” Rachel exclaimed and turned around to him, arms still folded across in front of her. Lance bit his lip.

“Too soon?”

They looked at each other with tension...then Rachel burst out into laughter. She laughed until she had to cover her mouth to calm down. Lance smiled at her. He was still anxious about the situation but laughing was good, wasn’t it? So they were both people who had to laugh in nervous situations, who would have thought? She leaned back against the counter next to him, still smiling.

Suddenly the door opened and Veronica's head appeared in the gap.

“Hey. Um. We’re getting tired and all. The police called again. Apparently it had been a false alarm. It was a different area, not even close to our house. I called Luis to come back. Are you done? ”

“Yeah, we’re--”

“No, we’re not done,” Lance interrupted Rachel vigorously. “You go to bed or whatever, Vero.”

“So, what about...” Veronica asked without finishing the sentence.

Right. That was supposed to be _his_ night. For a couple of minutes he’d actually forgotten about it. Lance shrugged. 

“Tomorrow then.”

“Alright. I tell Keith."

Lance nodded.

Ah, fuck. Keith. He had to be a mess. Running after him wouldn't change the disastrous evening so staying with Rachel a few minutes more wouldn't change anything - except maybe to make her feel better. 

The door closed and Lance faced his sister. A minute ago she had laughed but now she looked pale.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just...a weird evening. A bit much.”

“Rachel, you’re not weird. You’re being you and that’s good.” He wished he had better words to tell her, more wise words or anything useful.

“Thanks, Lance.” She lit up a bit again. “Um, I don't really like to talk about that all so...”

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“Thanks. I mean,” she wobbled her head from one side to the other, “you can tell Keith. I know couples talk and you two share...a lot. So. I mean you don’t have to but you can. I wouldn’t mind. I like him.”

Lance smiled.

“Yeah, he likes you too.”

They were silent for a moment.

“I guess we can...” Rachel said and nodded towards the door.

“Yeah, sure. Unless you want to talk a bit more? I’m not in a rush.”

“I appreciate it but I’m just tired and want to read my book.”

Lance grinned.

“Okay. But you can always talk to me about stuff like that. This isn’t weird or whatever.”

Rachel ruffled his hair and this time Lance didn’t mind.

“Thanks.”

~~

As soon as he entered his room Keith got up from the bed and walked up to him. For a moment Lance stared at his formal outfit that looked way too good on him. His hair was still fluffy and Lance wanted to run his fingers through it.

“Hey, sorry I--” was all Lance could say before he felt one hand of Keith on his lower back, pulling him closer, the other in the back of his neck, also pulling him closer, and Keith’s lips on his, making Lance stay. Lance didn’t have time to feel ambushed because they hadn’t kissed for hours, hadn’t been close for half the day and Keith in his arms was pretty much his number one priority on the list of all things in existence. Keith was the reason he was pushing through this vacation, the reason he didn't stop fighting against his own fear, the reason he felt stronger every day despite every minor or major screw up the last few days had brought them.

Keith‘s little attack caused the butterflies in Lance‘s stomach to come out of their hiding place. After being together for almost three months the butterflies weren't there every single second anymore but that wasn't bad: They slowly got replaced by a deeper feeling, a more permanent and constant feeling, something like a pulsing light in his chest radiating warmth and safety whenever Keith was around or he thought about him. But feeling the little butterflies again in such rush, making the biggest fuzz in his stomach like it was their first kiss all over again, was more than pleasant.

„Gosh, Keith,“ Lance breathed against Keith‘s lips between kisses but whatever else lay on his lips got quickly kissed away. How could this one human make him feel so much? „You‘re not in a talking mood, are you?“ he asked when Keith planted kisses on his neck. „I‘m sorry but I am. I just talked to-- gnnghh -- never...mind...“ It was hopeless with Keith making his body and brain useless for anything else than touching and kissing him.

After an intense minute that brought them dangerously close to the bed, Keith pulled back and Lance took that second of clarity to think.

“I have to do something before you make me forget.”

Keith leaned back a bit more, leaving Lance kissing thin air and making him frown.

“What- what did you just say?” he asked anxiously.

Lance grimaced.

“Your kissing makes me forget about stuff and I need to do something.” He pressed another kiss on Keith’s lips before he kneeled down beside his suitcase and looked for something.

“Got it.” He turned to Keith. “I’ll be back in a tic. Then we can continue this.” He winked at him and left the room in a hurry.

He didn’t have far to go because Rachel’s room was just opposite of theirs. A few knocks later the door opened. Rachel had already changed her white dress for a gray shirt and sweatpants. Lance squeezed inside and shut the door behind him.

“What is wrong, Lance?” Rachel asked worriedly even though Lance was smiling at her.

“Nothing is wrong, hold out your hand.”

“What?”

“Just do it!”

She held out her hand to him. Lance opened his hand and revealed a rainbow-colored ribbon. Rachel’s eyes widened but she didn’t protest. There was a faint smile on her lips so Lance tied the ribbon around her wrist.

“I got this from Pidge when I came out to her. So. Yeah.“ He scratched his neck. „Welcome to the club and, um, thank you for, um, telling me about you, Rachel.“

Rachel pulled back her hand and traced the ribbon with a finger.

„I thought people don‘t want ace and aro people in the club unless they--“

„Well, then those people are wrong. There is no ‚unless‘. You‘re queer and we‘re in the club and the music is damn fine. And unlike Keith you can actually dance so if Keith is in that club you belong there too. Gosh, please teach him how to dance, he's a hopeless case."

Rachel tilted her head, her fingers still fidgeting at the ribbon. 

"So...that's it?"

"What?"

She looked up at him with furrowed brows.

"You're just..." She snapped her fingers. "Okay with that? With me? And how I am?"

"Um, yeah?" He smiled. "Yeah, I am."

Rachel shook her head in disbelief. She looked like something big fell off her chest and Lance didn't want to comment on her glassy eyes.

“You‘re the best brother in the universe, you know that?“ she said quietly and when she squeezed his hand, he felt her cold fingers. They were more alike than he had thought.

„That happens when you have the coolest sisters.“

They grinned at each other.

„Can I hug you? I feel like hugging you.“

Rachel nodded and Lance threw his arms around her.

„No, no, this is a long hug,“ Lance said when Rachel was about to withdraw after less than 2 seconds. „I mean if it‘s okay for you?“

„Yeah," she whispered and Lance could feel her hot breath on his neck.

"You're not crying, are you? Because if you do, I will cry too."

"I'm not."

He wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or not but he closed his eyes for a moment to fight against some tears. This reminded him so much of his own coming out to Pidge and all the emotions came rushing back. 

„You know, Rachel," he whispered some moments later, "the evening didn't turn out the way I planned but I wouldn't want it any other way.“

And he meant it.

~~

When Lance got back into his room - feeling happy with a big smile on his face - he found Keith sitting on the edge of the bed, and he was ready to tell him about the conversation he just had with Rachel. All happiness evaporated inside him when he saw the expression on Keith‘s face. He looked stern, stressed, upset, sad, angry...Lance knew that look. It was the look Keith had on his face when he was mad at himself. When he claimed he had fucked something up.

„Keith?“ Lance said cautiously and his boyfriend looked up.

„Lance. We need to talk.“

„I can see that.“

He sat down next to Keith on the bed and gave him some time. Whatever it was, he needed time to say it. Keith always did.

„Okay so...something happened,” he said after a surprisingly short while.

„Something bad?“

„Something bad.“

There was a long silence and after a while, Lance realized that Keith didn't seem to be able to escape from his stupor by himself.

„Just say it, man,“ Lance whispered. „I won‘t be mad.“

„I turned back time," Keith said without any further hesitation.

They looked at each other.

Keith‘s scared and guilty eyes met with Lance‘s worried and anxious eyes.

„Yeah,“ Lance sighed and looked down at the floor. „I figured.“

„You figured?“

Lance felt his heart drop into a dark hole. It wasn't the right time to tell Keith that he had suspected it for a while now: that Keith was still able to use this power. He wasn't mad, not really. Disappointed maybe. But that was a conversation for the future.

„I was 90% sure. Doesn't matter," he said instead and looked back at him. "What happened? You said something bad happened? Did someone die or what?“

„Yeah,“ Keith said quietly and Lance held his breath. „Someone died.“

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you didn't think i forgot about keith's superpower, did ya. boom. but what happened that night? [x-files music softly playing in distance]  
> no, it wasn't aliens.  
> writing this chapter was intense. i paced through my room, i clasped my hands over my mouth, i run on coffee and adrenaline alone. cause i knew what was about to happen and i couldn't talk to anyone about it, lol. i'm seriously living my fanfics by feeling EVERYTHING.  
> you can guess what the next chapter will be about and what it will be called, right?
> 
> PLEASE. check out the art my friend created like magic out of thin air during inktober. i turned it "canon" in my fanfic, lol. the halloween picture of keith, lance and veronica >>[I know you want to see it](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpm0783hY4I/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet)


	9. Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lance: i didn't have my coming out as planned, wtf  
> keith: yo someone died, i turned back time, lemme tell you everything in a 15k long chapter  
> author: *sobs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we're back. like, in time, lol, because this chapter is all about keith's point of view and basically the mirror version to the last chapter.
> 
> i hope you're gonna enjoy this long bit - it was a little adventure to write it, that's for sure :)  
> also: quick reminder that this is the sequel to "if i had my time again" and i will recapture some events of that story (which i already did all the time so it's nothing new actually but i felt like mentioning it again, especially at this point).
> 
> most importantly: thank you so much for all of your comments, kudos and feedback here and on twitter, it means a lot!!! you are the best!! i didn't expect to write a story where people actually come up with theories, like, are y'all even real?!??! <33 i'm just overwhelmed at this point [insert gif of an excited golden retriever puppy] - you're pretty awesome and i wanna hug or high-five you all (if you're chill with that of course)
> 
> content warnings!  
> \- temporary death and temporary potentially life-threatening injuries, loss of consciousness, homophobia, food;  
> if you need details before reading or just wanna say hi you can always reach out to me on tumblr [(worstmissionever)](https://worstmissionever.tumblr.com/) or twitter [(@worstmission)](https://twitter.com/worstmission) and yes it seems to be a good idea to change my ao3 username here but i don't think that will happen any time soon, whoops!

###  **Keith**

**24th** **December, Christmas Eve, Part 3**

Earlier this afternoon.

Keith leaned against the wall in the hallway, his heart pounding strongly in his chest. He ran his fingers through his hair and pressed his hand against his forehead. The flow of adrenaline pumping through his veins slowly got weaker and got replaced by a feeling of sheer dread as he recaptured the last few minutes.

He’d been in a heated conversation with Luis about Lance and he’d almost lost it. Well, to some extent he did lose it. Luis had told him to stay away from Lance and not in a friendly way: he’d told him to fly back to Oregon as soon as possible. Although Luis had phrased it as a suggestion, the pressure behind had been clear.

And then Keith had done something incredibly stupid: first, he had demanded to know why it would have been a problem if he had flirted with Lance and second, even more stupid, he had asked Luis why he wasn’t good enough for Lance.

Luis had answered both of his questions with the single most hurtful sentence:

“Isn’t it obvious?”

He didn’t know what would have happened if Lisa hadn’t shown up on the staircase, reminding Luis again to run some last errands before dinner.

Luis had stopped talking.

Keith hadn’t. He hadn’t even looked at Lisa. Instead, he had breathed through the hurt and the flash of panic and had taken a step forward that had brought him way too close to Luis.

“Tell me.”

Luis, who was even taller than Lance and way more buff, had stared down at him but Keith had never cared about his physical disadvantages before and wasn't about to start now. Lotor had been way taller than him and he’d broken his nose. And he had worked for the gang Blade of Marmora because Kolivan had known he wouldn’t back down from a fight if necessary. In his youth, Keith had always been the one to give an already tense situation the last push to escalation. His anger had been his shield. Better to attack first than to get attacked. Shiro had tried his best to make Keith aware of the hothead he tended to be and the consequences this behavior brought along. But since Lance was back in his life, his anger tried to force him back into old habits – well, fear dressed as anger. He couldn’t lose Lance, he wouldn’t lose Lance.

“I said tell me.”

“I’m not doing this with you now, Keith.”

Keith would walk through fire to save Lance. In one way he already did: a few months ago when Lance had been kidnapped and Keith had to turn back time to save him.

Turning back time for a few seconds or even a minute had never been a problem from the moment on he had discovered this incredible power inside of him. But on that particular day, he had managed to turn back time for about 30 minutes to get to Lance and to prevent worse things from happening. He’d been in Adam’s cabin near the lighthouse after Lance had stormed out disappointed, angry and shocked, having learned that Keith had turned back time to...fix situations between them both without letting Lance know. Situations that Keith had thought he’d fucked up, situations that made Keith fear he’d been on his way to lose Lance again.

Lance hadn’t taken it well, not at all.

But anyway. Later that night his and Lance’s power had blurred together to save each other. He and Lance had tried to understand the timelines of their fight with Haggar and Acxa, trying to recapture how many times each one of them had got hurt or died but it wasn’t possible. Later in the hospital, the doctor had told Lance that he had a slight concussion but in hindsight, they both knew that it was also the first hint of the side effects of that event.

They came face to face with the much bigger side effect a few days later. In the end they had saved each other in the barn where Lance had been held captive but almost destroyed Arcadia Bay by mingling their powers – or maybe even wide parts of the world. Maybe even the universe itself? The unnatural, aggressive and entangled use of their powers had brought a tornado to life in front of Oregon’s coast, threatening the lives of the ones they loved.

And Keith? Keith had been willing to die. For Lance, for his chosen family, his friends. Weeks before the tornado Keith had been supposed to die in the restroom of a diner if it hadn't been for Lance who suddenly had appeared back in his life in this fateful minute and turned back time without even thinking about it. Undoing everything that had led up to the tornado - meaning Lance letting Keith die - had been the idea to save everyone else. 

Keith had taken Lance’s hand and they combined their powers one last time in a desperate attempt to reverse everything. But the universe had a different plan. It hadn’t brought them back to the diner to let Keith die. No. The universe fixed it. It not only saved Arcadia Bay but also let them both live, verifying a promise they once had given each other: to be and stay together the next time they would meet. And the universe made it happen.

As if this had been the original plan from the beginning.

So back in Varadero, Cuba, in the hallway on the second floor, Christmas Eve, when Keith invaded Luis’ personal space to get an answer to the question why he wasn’t good enough for Lance, the anger lit up again like a beacon fire. Because they’d been through a lot together, they had got into fights because Keith believed he wasn’t good enough for Lance and Lance had brushed it off, had discussed about it endlessly, had made him a list including doodles to describe how Keith was perfect in every way and Keith felt bad, oh so bad, for the lengths Lance had to go through to make him feel safe. But it had worked, at least to some extent. Only here in Varadero with Lance's family around them, his fears had gotten back. And Luis glancing down at him had made him wanna fight.

“Tell me,” he had repeated, this time with enough sass in his voice to make Luis lean down to him. Keith had felt the breath on his ear.

“I’m not gonna talk about infidelity in front of my son.”

After hissing these sharp words he had headed to the staircase. Sylvio had appeared next to his mother and Luis had picked him up.

“Hola Keith,” the little boy had said and waved at him. Luis had given him one last look – it hadn’t been a good one – and Keith was too upset to even breath for some seconds.

But this is when he had finally known what this had been about.

Infidelity.

Of course.

He’d told them all he had a boyfriend in Arcadia Bay on his first day at dinner. And now he had to deal with the consequences.

Shit. 

So this is where Keith had been ever since: leaning against the wall, thinking about a way to fix all this while he gave his heart a chance to calm down and his brain the opportunity to function more logically again.

With longing eyes he gazed in the direction of Lance’s room. As much as he wanted to curl up next to him in bed, pretending nothing like this had just happened, he knew Lance needed some healthy sleep and not a worried boyfriend making questionable decisions based on strong emotions.

He decided to look for Veronica or Rachel. Actually, more for Rachel, if he was honest to himself. Rachel would kick his ass if he'd screwed up something regarding Lance’s coming out and maybe she was the company he needed the most to get through the rest of the vacation. If he was lucky she needed help with some hotel business things. He really could use something and someone to take off his mind about everything for a little while. Tonight’s dinner was destined to be stressful, no matter how things would turn out.

When Keith hadn’t found her in her room, in the lobby or office he peeked inside the kitchen: a place he usually avoided without Lance being around. The chances to run into Lance’s parents, Luis or Lisa was highest in this small room.

As Keith had guessed the kitchen wasn’t empty. Mary was busy preparing dinner, faintly humming along to a Spanish song on the radio. The smell of freshly baked bread was in the air and a wave of heat hit him in his face when he opened the door a bit more.

She hadn’t seen him yet and Keith was tempted by the idea of simply leaving to avoid a conversation but he knew that he couldn’t run from it forever. Oh God, did she also think he had been flirting with Lance while having a non-existing boyfriend?

“Hola Mary,” he said before he could change his mind and the small woman turned around to face him.

“Hola Keith.” His presence seemed to confuse her. She raised her eyebrows and waited for him to say something, patiently drying her hands on a kitchen towel. Keith didn’t judge her. He’d be startled as well, coming face to face with the cheating boyfriend who was hitting on his childhood friend in his parents’ hotel in Cuba on Christmas Eve.

“Um, I was...looking for Rachel.”

Mary nodded in such a slow and thoughtful way that Keith expected she’d tell him a riddle he had to solve to get an answer from her.

“I’m not quite sure where she is.”

“Oh. Alright, thank you anyway.” He was about to turn around when he heard Mary taking an audible breath as if she had inhaled a question she needed to ask. Maybe it was the riddle, he thought with bitter humor. He stopped and looked at her until she had overcome some hesitation.

“Where is Lance?”

Okay, easy.

“Asleep. He had a headache.”

Mary hummed in acknowledgment. Her curt and dismissive replies didn’t increase Keith’s self-confidence but he stood his ground.

“Keith, can I ask you something?”

Keith’s heart skipped a beat and he swore he could already feel cold sweat on his body. So there was a question on her mind after all.

“Um. Of course.” What else was he supposed to say anyway? He took a few shallow breaths through his mouth and prayed that she wouldn’t address his relationship with Lance. He had no idea how to dodge those questions without getting into a mess as it had been with Luis.

Mary took her time to put away the towel, probably making some time to gather her own thoughts. Then she looked back at him and her eyes were the ones of a worried and troubled mother.

“Lance, is he okay?”

Keith’s mouth gaped open for a second and he hurried to get back a calm and neutral face.

“Yes, of course, he’s just a bit tired.”

“That’s good but...I mean in general. Is he happy?”

Keith thought that was a weird question to ask him but Mary continued.

“He used to talk to me about everything and lately I feel--.” She sighed and smiled sadly. “I was wondering if there was something wrong, maybe in college? I know you two are best friends and I don’t expect you to tell me anything. Whenever he was in trouble or had something on his mind he’d often come to me and...maybe...”

“Why-- why would you think he is in trouble?” Keith asked and wished he wasn’t so conscious about his appearance. His body told him to cross his arms before his chest but his mind told him not to appear defensive so he awkwardly held his one elbow with his other hand.

“He blocks me out of a lot of things lately. It’s not unusual though, I have five children and it had happened with four of them the same way,” she said and tried to laugh it off. “One day they just, you know, don’t need their mother that much anymore. I just hoped it would have been different with Lance. Or taken longer. He’s my youngest after all.”

Keith didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t a topic he was particularly comfortable with. It seemed to be way too intimate for the two of them.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” Mary apologized as if she had realized the same. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You’re his closest friend and I--”

“No, it’s...it’s fine,” he quickly said. “Lance is okay, he is happy, as far as I can tell. I mean, I _can_ tell and he _is_. He really is, um, doing fine.”

Mary smiled.

“The last few months were a bit stressful though because, well, mostly because of me.”

“With Zarkon and all.”

“Yeah. He helped me a lot.”

Keith bit his lip. Lance hadn’t told his family about how deep he had been dragged into the whole Zarkon-Haggar-Acxar-mess and Adam had made sure the police didn’t release any information about Lance’s involvement to the press. For all the newspapers assumed, it had been Keith who had been kidnapped and not Lance.

“He is a good boy,” Mary said and Keith didn’t mind that she didn't even try to hide her pride. He felt the same. “Always helping people.”

“Yes, he does.” They smiled at each other, talking about someone they deeply cared about and it showed in their faces. Maybe later that night she would be able to understand his feelings for Lance even better, Keith dared to hope.

“Oh, and Keith...”

“Yes?”

“Is he seeing anyone?”

The question hit him unprepared and out of nowhere. Keith swallowed hard when he saw Mary’s knowing face. Her eyes were glistening and she smirked as she closely observed Keith’s reaction. Damn.

“Oh, I see.” She pressed the palms of her hands together and chuckled delightfully. “Don’t worry, you didn’t give it away. I already knew. A mother always knows. He is like Veronica when she, well, when she and Romelle got together.” She smiled fondly. “I see it in his eyes and in the way he smiles when he thinks nobody is watching.”

“It’s really not my place to--”

“I know, I know, you don't have to tell me,” she said and waved her hand to interrupt him. “I just wished--” This time she stopped herself from talking. She looked sad. Keith waited patiently. “I miss my boy and our talks. That's all.”

Keith nodded.

“Try the cellar,” Mary suddenly said, her voice back to normal and her face composed as usual.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Rachel,” she explained and opened the oven to check the bread inside, “sometimes she’s down there sorting through things of my parents. Miguel has a hard time getting rid of old things.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you. I'm gonna take a look.”

He gave her a thankful smile and left.

Wow, that had been intense but at least he hadn’t got any bad vibes from her. The good thing: she didn't think Keith was flirting with Lance. The bad thing: she thought Lance was dating someone else.

Confusing times.

Keith walked through the lobby, passed the reception until he stood in front of an ajar cellar door. Slowly he opened it wider and peaked down. He’d already spent a good amount of time down there when he was looking for Christmas ornaments two days ago and Lance had ditched him to spend time with Luis. A faint light illuminated the room down below, not bright enough to shed light on every step.

“Rachel?” he called down.

“Yes? Keith, is that you?”

Rachel appeared at the lower end of the staircase.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, Lance is asleep and I was--”

“I’m helping Pa getting rid of some stuff, do you wanna join us?”

Keith was thankful for the warning that they weren’t alone.

“Sure.” He didn’t mind being around Miguel, quite the contrary actually. He felt strangely drawn to him, the same applied to Rachel. Although he hadn’t spent much time with them when he was younger, they almost felt like allies now.

Carefully he walked down the steep and narrow stairs, taking one step at a time. The wooden boards creaked and bent under his feet. It looked just like in a horror movie and Keith expected a hand to appear between the gaps to drag him down.

“Be careful with the handrail, it’s--”

“Loose, I know, I’ve been down here before,” he said and kept watching his feet until he stepped off the stairs and next to Rachel.

“Abuela once broke her hip here.”

“I can’t really say that it surprises me. You should really let it fix.”

Rachel shrugged.

“Don’t have any money for things like that. And guests won’t come down here anyway so it’s not a priority.”

Keith nodded and stared at the floor. Money had turned into a topic that made him uncomfortable.

“But you come down here, so you should make it a priority. What?” he asked when a shit-eating grin appeared on Rachel’s face.

“Ah, nothing,” she said and shrugged, “it’s cute how you care about my safety.”

“I just don’t want to be stuck here with you for eternity when the staircase breaks down.”

Rachel laughed and flicked her fingers against his arm. Keith felt a warmth in his face and grinned at her. That was nice. He didn’t know why but they had clicked together. Being around Rachel was comfortable and Keith hoped the feeling was mutual. He’d liked to be friends with her someday.

“Keith!”

Miguel appeared next to them and waggled a piece of paper in his hand. “Look!” he said.

Rachel folded her arms across her chest and smiled.

“Pa got sidetracked. He always does when we are trying to clean up.”

Miguel shoved the whatever-it-was under Keith’s nose. It was a black and white picture.

“That’s me wearing my hotel uniform.”

On the picture Miguel was more than 30 years younger, standing in a grand hotel lobby wearing a uniform, a hat and dark gloves. He looked oh so very proud. It was obvious that he hadn’t tried to beam into the camera but the small smile couldn’t be hidden.

“That’s a nice picture,” Keith said, “and a really, um, nice uniform.”

“Yes! Yes! I told you!”

Miguel’s excitement continued as he was already showing it to his daughter while rapidly saying something in Spanish. In this minute he reminded Keith of Lance. He couldn’t understand much, just some words, but it sounded like he was rambling about his former job. Rachel smiled and nodded kindly. She’d probably already heard the story but she didn’t let it show. Keith wondered if Miguel was the reason she wanted to get into the hotel business in the first place. It was important to him and she radiated the same passion for the hotel business as he unmistakably did.

Meanwhile Keith looked around. The cellar was a bit dusty, dark and probably a health hazard but it also felt like there were still secrets to unlock down here. Maybe old pictures of him and Lance? Their old space explorer uniforms? Suddenly a particular shelf caught his attention again – the one labeled “Xmas”.

“Rachel?”

“Yes?”

“Would you-- do you think, um.” He squinted his eyes. “The breakfast room isn’t decorated.”

“I know. We don’t celebrate Christmas that much.”

Keith pressed his lips together, a question lingering on his mind.

“Can I decorate it? If that’s okay?” he added hastily when two pairs of eyes were on him. “I’ve got nothing else to do and, I don’t know, it might look nice?”

“Oh, I’m sure Lance would be absolutely thrilled about it.” Rachel winked.

Miguel laughed and nodded. He slowly walked to the shelf, careful to support himself by holding onto another cupboard.

“Let me see,” he said and opened a random box. More tinsel and some CDs in jewel cases. “If you think you can find anything useful!” He smirked. “Lance used to like a good Christmas decoration.”

“Okay, thanks,” Keith mumbled, a light brush on his face, and started by looking for festive tablecloths.

~~

During his last walk between the cellar and the breakfast room, careful not to break his legs on the bloody staircase, Keith received a text from Lance telling him he was awake, feeling fine and about to take a shower. Keith exhaled with relief. He would never get used to Lance being out of it due to the side effects.

Keith put the small light chain he was carrying in the middle of the table. The last thing he did was dragging the Christmas Tree into the room. It was hard but he managed it without knocking it over. Then he looked around. Everything was ready, the table, the walls with decorations, the tree. So much tinsel everywhere, reflecting the light of the Christmas Tree and shining in different colors. He had even borrowed the old kitchen radio to play some old Christmas music CDs.

Now it was time to change into something more formal and meet Lance.

~~

Lance’s eyes grew big when he entered the breakfast room with Keith by his side, absolutely enchanted to see how the room had changed.

“They did this just for you,” he said to Keith in the most honest and heartfelt way. A warm smile spread on his face and the visible love in his eyes made Keith blush.

“You’re such a dork,” he mumbled under his breath and hoped Lance didn’t catch it.

The main course of dinner went by without any complications although Keith thought it lasted forever and three days. Lance was lost in his mind for most of the time and Keith could tell how hard he fought against his anxiety. Meanwhile he did his best to keep up a conversation with Lance’s sisters or Romelle. Even Veronica’s little story about him on Halloween was tolerable. Heck, okay, actually it was very funny to get reminded of it even though it had been a bit awkward. At least it made Lance smile for a few minutes. And when everyone at the table broke out into laughter, Keith shot a glance at Lance – Lance who was beyond happy, who was grinning with his teeth showing, whose eyes gazed at everyone of his family and then settled on Keith.

Their eyes locked for a long moment and Keith wanted to look into those beautiful blue diamonds of eyes forever. Suddenly Lance averted his eyes and Keith thought it was for the best. He had done enough harm already, he shouldn’t stare at Lance like a lovesick puppy until the situation had been cleared.

His hand had been resting in his lap when he felt Lance reaching out to him. His cold fingers wrapped around Keith’s and pulled his hand closer to his until their joined hands were lazily hanging between their chairs. Keith was happy. He knew Lance was about to do it soon now, having the Big Talk. No more secrets after that. Everything would change but Keith was looking forward to it, was optimistic even. The conversation was still about the picture taken on Halloween and everyone seemed to be in a very good mood.

“Definitely. I wanna see grumpy Keith,” Rachel said when he turned his attention back to the conversation.

“I’m gonna show you later,” Lance promised and squeezed Keith’s hand.

Here we go, Keith thought while the others were still sharing fond memories of Arcadia Bay.

“Do you wanna do this as planned?” Keith whispered to Lance, leaning slightly towards him. Lance eyed him briefly as if he had forgotten about their talk, then he nodded. Keith tried his best to give him the most encouraging smile ever. They had thought about different ways for Lance to tell his family about them and they had settled for the option they both liked best.

“I’m gonna serve dessert now,” Mary said and got up, Luis followed her into the kitchen.

Keith glanced at Lance again who was studying his family sitting at the table. He was probably freaking out internally, Keith thought. Miguel had his eyes closed. Lisa was cradling a tired Nadia in her lap and Sylvio was almost falling asleep. Romelle and Veronica winked at Lance. Rachel picked lazily in some leftover food on her plate.

Then Mary and Luis came back with some cake and other sweets.

“Here you go,” Mary said and although everyone was already stuffed, they all dug in. When Lance didn’t acknowledge the existence of his favorite cake in front of him, Keith knew that the time had come. He squeezed Lance’s hand once again, reminding him that he was next to him all the time.

“Um, hello everyone,” Lance said and looked up.

“Hello mijo,” his mother said, eyeing him strangely. Everyone’s curious eyes were on him.

Lance coughed and straightened his back, then he tilted his head and covered his mouth. Keith took a deep breath to calm his nerves. One of them being a nervous wreck was more than enough. Thankfully Lance seemed to get a grip and got serious again.

“Um, that was a nice dinner, mom. Your cooking was amazing, as usual.” Okay, Lance’s voice was obviously very tense but at least he had started talking.

“Thank you, Luis and Lisa helped,” she said with a kind smile to both of them.

“Um, cool.”

There was a slightly uncomfortable stretch before Lance continued.

“Um, and it’s nice that we’re all together here, tonight, on Christmas Eve.”

Everyone smiled at him but no one said a word, they were all waiting. Even Luis was watching without making an unnecessary comment. No wonder: Lance being serious-weird made them all tense. Keith squeezed his hand again under the table, nudging him to continue.

“And since we’re all here I have something to tell you all and--”

He stopped. And swallowed. And Keith prayed that Lance wasn’t gonna lose his cool now. Then he felt Lance’s fingers loosen around his hand only to take a firmer grip a second later. Keith’s heart beat so fast he thought it was jumping out of his chest when Lance pulled up their holding hands and laid them on the table between them.

Though it was part of their plan and Keith had tried to prepare himself mentally for this moment he was too scared to look at anyone for a few seconds. He couldn’t see Veronica on Lance’s other side but he made eye contact with Rachel. She seemed to be relaxed and blinked at him reassuringly when she caught his gaze.

It was eerily quiet around the table. The Christmas music in the background had been a bad idea, Keith realized. It made the situation more unreal. Then Lance finally said something else.

“I’m dating someone.”

Keith would have almost laughed about this vague sentence since they were holding hands right in front of his whole family. There was no way they didn’t see it.

“Lance,” a voice said with a warning tone. Keith looked up. Luis. Of course. Keith cursed himself. He should have cleared things up a few hours ago and regretted it deeply.

Mary’s posture was stiff, her eyes widened in shock as she stared at Lance. Keith wondered if she had even noticed their hands but then her eyes focused on Keith, then briefly on their interlocked fingers. Was she disappointed? He couldn’t tell, everything was hidden behind her surprised face. Miguel’s face was basically expressionless. Keith’s eyes flickered at him only briefly but damn, this man was hard to read.

It all happened in less than 10 seconds and Keith waited impatiently for Lance to rip off the rest of the coming out band-aid.

“I’m dating Keith.”

There was no going back now but Keith didn’t feel relief because Luis was the first one to speak. He didn’t give Lance a chance to add something, to explain anything or even a moment to breathe.

“Okay Keith, this is insane,” he said strictly and Keith could tell that everyone at the table was confused that he addressed him and not Lance. “Have you forgotten our talk a few hours ago? Did you even give it a second thought? Do you even care about him? You can’t possibly be okay with that kind of arrangement, Lance.”

“What?” Lance asked, his voice higher than usual because these sentences hadn’t been in his mental script of Things His Family Could Ask During My Coming Out.

“No, Luis, no,” Keith tried to calm him down, “it was a misunderstanding.”

“What is going on?” Lance asked. “What are you talking about?”

“He thought I had a boyfriend back home and was flirting with you,” Keith explained. “The one I mentioned a few days ago. Luis and I, we tried to talk about this today but I didn’t want to tell him about us.”

“Fuck, Keith,” Lance hissed nervously, clearly losing his cool in this second, “why didn’t you just tell him?”

“Lance,” Keith pleaded with the calmest voice he was able to muster while trying to ignore the very curious audience around them, “I promised you I wouldn’t do that. I’ve done enough already.”

Lance furrowed his brows and was ready to reply when Luis threw his hands up in the air.

“Okay, what is going on?” he said and was getting exasperated. “I thought Keith already had a boyfriend. So you’re like in a threesome now?”

Both Mary and Lisa gasped. Lance turned pale.

“Lance? Is this true?” Veronica asked. “I’m not here to judge but did I miss something here?”

“Oh God, Keith already said it was a misunderstanding.” Rachel tried to help out but Keith interrupted her. It was his responsibility to set things straight after all.

“When Luis asked me questions about girls on our first evening I told him I had a boyfriend.” His voice was shaking, everyone could hear it, and he hated himself. “I’m sorry I made him up, I was just--” Keith stopped. Suddenly he felt sick. He tried to breathe in as much air as he was able to, hoping the sickness would go away.

“So are you fucking my brother now or not?”

Anger and something else rushed through his body. Keith was about to get up and shout something very regrettable but also justifiable at Luis but a splinter of a second before he could move, his eyes flickered to Miguel who had raised his hand up in the air. Keith saw it coming and that was probably why it felt like some kind of signal he had been waiting for. Like everyone else, he was startled when Miguel slammed his hand hard on the table. The salt shaker rolled over, white crystals spilled on the tablecloth and the situation changed once again. He almost let go of Lance’s hand.

Silence, the most uncomfortable silence.

No one said a word. Not even Miguel. He looked exhausted. Keith didn’t know where to look so he stared at his hand holding Lance’s. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his boyfriend’s face crimsoned from embarrassment and suppressed anger.

“We are dating,” Lance repeated. His voice was hollow and emotionless as if these three words were just an essential fact to him. It wasn’t the greatest feeling for neither Keith nor Lance, not at all. Then Luis spoke again, very quiet and slowly, but it made the situation even tenser.

“Why…are you...people always so complicated and...make a drama...about everything?”

“Luis! This is--” Lisa said shocked but was drowned out by the young women sitting opposite of her.

“Excuse me?” Veronica’s agitated voice shouted through the room.

“What the fuck?” Romelle exclaimed next to her.

“Making up boyfriends so, what, to prove a point?” He was still talking to Keith.

“It was a mistake, Luis, you pushed me and kept asking about girls all the time and--”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

“Hey,” Veronica said with anger, “if you weren’t such an asshole and a bit more tolerant, open and sympathetic to other people you wouldn’t think everyone was straight by default.”

Before Luis could reply and to everyone’s surprise, Lisa cleared her throat.

“You already knew he was gay, Luis.” Her voice was low but audible to everyone.

“What?” Keith stared back at Luis, a wildfire burning in his eyes.

“He, he read it online in an article about you. You said it in an interview. In fact, everyone knew. Mary, Miguel, Luis and I.”

No one said a word. Mary looked down in shame.

“I’m sorry,” Lisa said and pressed her lips together.

“Then why...” Keith asked with a sinking heart. “Why?” His voice was thick of both tension and desperation.

Luis made a grimace and looked away, bothered and annoyed and embarrassed about being called out like that. At least he didn’t give Lisa any shit, Keith thought and kept trying to catch Luis’ eyes. If it wasn’t about him being gay so for what other reason would Luis treat him like that?

“Oh.” He knew. “Is this...about the foundation?”

Now Luis looked up and shrugged like he couldn’t have been bothered.

“It is, isn’t it?” Keith persisted.

“It wasn’t exactly fair, you know?” Luis began but stopped. His eyes searched for help in the faces of his family members but they all avoided his gaze. “Dad worked for them, I worked for them until your father kicked us out and left us with nothing.”

“Luis!” Miguel said sternly.

“What? It’s true. You should have got the company, not _him_.” He pointed at Keith.

“I was a _factory worker_. You don’t know what you are talking about!”

“A bigger redundancy payment then! You did all the booking for years! You were friends with Kredon!”

Miguel shook his head and cut him off with some Spanish words but Veronica and Rachel started talking insistently at him, accusing him of being envious and calling him out on his ugly behavior for the next few minutes. At first Luis was eager in defending himself but got exhausted very quickly.

“Then why did you want to send Rachel with us to the beach if it wasn’t about me being gay?” Keith asked out of the blue and the others’ voices broke off.

“You know why,” Luis said quietly and rolled his eyes. “It might surprise you but I actually care about my brother. I thought you used him.” Keith’s look at Mary didn’t go unnoticed by Luis and he continued. “I didn’t tell mamá. She just thought Rachel was too lonely.”

Rachel’s eyes flickered between her mother and Luis.

“I am what now?”

“Honey,” Mary said cautiously as if she was talking to a spooked cat, “you’re over thirty and don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Told you,” Luis added as if he had proven a point.

“I don’t want a boyfriend! I don’t want to date anyone, Mom!” She pressed the palms of her hands on the table. “How many times have I already told you?”

“But you’re such a beautiful woman, maybe one--”

“Mom!” she yelled. “Complimenting me doesn’t change about how I feel or what I want. We talked about this so many times, I can’t do this any longer. I don’t wanna have a life like you. Or the others here, sorry. I don’t wanna have a partner. Or get married. Or have kids. I don't even want a cat!”

Mary’s eyes got watery.

“I just wanna be me, that’s all. Is that really too much to ask?”

“But if the right one comes?”

“Madre!” She looked at her with piercing eyes. “Would you just...shut up for once in your life?”

Mary hiccuped and covered her mouth with her hand, utterly appalled by Rachel’s reaction.

Eerie silence once again.

“Fuck,” Romelle said and summed up the whole situation with one word.

“But...I thought I will get grandchildren one day,” Mary said and Keith couldn’t believe she was still hanging onto this topic at this moment. “I’m over sixty already.”

“So this is about grandchildren now?” Veronica asked heatedly. “Oh fuck this, you do realize you already have two though, don't you?” She pointed at Sylvio and Nadia. “They’re sitting right there listening to you talking shit.”

“Vero, we could--” Romelle said but Veronica made an aggressive gesture and she stopped talking.

“Of course,” Mary said quickly and briefly looked at the little children. “And I love them. But I won’t get any from you and not from Rachel and that is... Please,” she begged at Rachel as if she believed her sad eyes could instantly make Rachel say it all had been a joke and of course she was already three months pregnant and in love with a handsome man.

Meanwhile Lisa’s eyes burned into her. In the quiet seconds that followed Lisa stood up. She cradled Nadia in her arms and held out a hand that Sylvio immediately clung to. He looked scared and Keith wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, that he didn’t need to be afraid but right now Keith himself didn’t believe it.

“Lisa, please--” Luis said with a broken voice and for a moment Keith thought he was about to get up as well but then Lisa shook her head. She stopped at the far end of the table and turned around to Keith and Lance.

“For what it’s worth: I am happy for you two.” She gave Luis one long hard stare. “And so is Sylvio.” She looked at Mary. "He's your grandson, in case you have forgotten." Then she left.

“Mom,” Veronica said with a stern voice, “can we get back to what Lance was telling us?” Keith was thankful that she still had the nerve to steer the conversation back into the original direction.

For the first time since Lance had said “I’m dating Keith” Mary looked at his son. She looked hurt and disappointed. Keith was still holding hands with Lance but he barely felt his fingers anymore. Everything started to become numb inside him. Lance had to feel similar and he wished they could just make a run for it and come back to fight another day.

“So Lance is gay, big deal everyone,” Luis said ironically. “Congratulations, sorry I forgot to bring any balloons.”

“You are a laughable person, Luis,” Veronica hissed. “It is a big deal.”

“You’re making everything so dramatic,” he retorted. “Like, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean your life is more complicated than of us other people. Gay people are accepted, you can even get married in most of the states.”

Romelle’s voice was shaking when she stood up from her chair.

“You don’t get to tell me about acceptance and tolerance, you piece of crap. You have no idea what I’ve been through, or, or other people that don’t happen to be cis-hetero guys like you.”

The sound of several people sharply drawing breath was the only reason why it wasn’t completely silent. Keith realized the Christmas music CD had stopped playing at some point.

“You know what,” Luis said and pointed angrily at Romelle and then at himself, “I don’t need to get called words tonight just because of my opinion.”

“Well, your _opinion_ ,” she said in air quotes, “sucks.”

He got up and briskly walked out of the room without looking at anyone.

“Hope your wife will give you more shit later!” Romelle called after him. “So you--” Veronica put a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry,” Romelle said quietly to her, “but I can’t do this. I need fresh air.” She stood up. “And I’m sorry, Lance, Keith. You deserve better. Please excuse me.” She opened the glass door to the poolside and left. Veronica squeezed Lance’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and nodded.

“Sorry,” Veronica said and followed her fiancee.

Now there were only Mary, Miguel, Rachel, Keith and Lance sitting at the table.

“Mom?”

Lance’s chocked voice cut through the silence.

Mary looked at him again, her sad eyes briefly focusing on Keith’s and Lance’s joined hands.

“I know. No grandchildren from you either.”

“I, I don’t-- … Mom. I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. Do you know what this means?”

It hurt Keith to see how Lance was still trying to stick to his step-by-step coming out with explanations, prepared for any kind of questions to explain his feelings or words they might not know.  

Mary nodded although it was barely visible. “Is this...serious?”

“Keith and I are dating for almost three months now.”

“Three months already?” Mary whispered, visibly taken aback. She lowered her gaze to stare at her hands in her lap. “You never mentioned it, not once when you called.”

Lance’s fingers twitched in Keith’s hand.

“I was...I wasn’t ready yet.” His eyes were fixed on the table, looking at nothing and everything. “And I wanted to tell you in person.”

“I see.”

A long minute passed. Keith noticed that Rachel made some attempts to say something but seemed to change her mind before she started talking. Yeah, same, Keith thought. He wouldn’t know what to say either.

“Excuse me,” Mary suddenly said and got up from her chair. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Mom, please don’t go,” Lance begged. For a brief moment their eyes met. “I love him, Mom.” And for the first time Keith's heart ached painfully at Lance's declaration of love instead of doing the opposite.

“I just…,” Mary started as an explanation but her words faded into nothing. She shook her head and walked out of the room into the kitchen, door closed behind her.

Rachel looked at Miguel, expecting him to follow, but he didn’t move.

“I go check on her,” she said. On her way out she ran her fingertips over Lance’s and Keith’s backs as an apology for leaving, too.

Now only Keith and Lance were left at the table.

Along with Miguel.

“I’m sorry,” Keith said quietly. He felt horrible. It had been his fault that everything had gone downhill, hadn't it? If he hadn’t lied to Luis, maybe things would have been different.

Or just different bad.

Lance was quiet, his eyes drilling holes into the table. He looked ashamed, guilty and Keith wanted to set the world on fire if it meant to make everything undone that just had happened. Should he try to turn back time? But he had promised Lance to never do it again and this wasn't a matter of life and death. But still he was conflicted.

Even now Lance was still trying to pull himself together, desperate in trying to keep his face composed as best as he could. No tears, no open sadness.

When Miguel stood up, Lance huffed out some air he had been holding in his lungs like the last fraction of hope. This was it, Keith thought, and Lance probably too. Everyone was leaving. But Miguel didn’t walk out of the room, no, he walked around the table while stabilizing himself on the chairs he passed by until he stood next to Lance. Lance barely raised his head but his eyes slowly looked up at his father as if God himself had come down to Earth to judge him. Keith was afraid of whatever was about to happen, especially when Lance let go of his hand and pushed back his chair to stand up as well. He looked absolutely shattered and small, even though he was about the same height as his father.

Miguel tilted his head and scanned Lance’s face who was avoiding eye contact. Then Miguel put one finger on Lance’s chin and gave it a nudge to make him look at him.

Their eyes connected. Miguel looked angry and Keith was this close to jump up and interfere but then…

Miguel put a hand on Lance’s shoulder before he pulled Lance into a hug. He wrapped his arms around his son and closed his eyes, patting the back of his head soothingly. The barrier inside Lance holding back his emotions broke away. A moment later Keith heard him sobbing. His body was shaking violently while his father's arms tried to hold him still. Lance's forehead was pressed into his Miguel's shoulder and he hid his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccuped between sobs, “I didn’t -- want to -- upset anyone.”

Miguel squeezed him one more time and withdrew from the embrace. The anger was still visible in his face but another expression had been added: determination.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” Miguel said with tears in his eyes. “I’m scared, too. But it will be okay, you will see.”

Scared of what, Keith wanted to know but didn’t ask. Miguel’s eyes looked over Lance’s shoulder and found Keith. He gave him a little nod.

“I’ll be right back.” With these words Miguel left the room in the direction of the lobby.

Keith reacted immediately, got up as well and cradled Lance’s wet face in his hands.

“Lance,” he said and checked his eyes. He was still crying, constantly wiping away tears and snot but he was able to focus on Keith.

“I’m fine,” Lance said lamely. After a second he stilled. “I mean I have no side effects. But I’m not fine.”

“You did well though.” Keith wrapped his arms around Lance’s hips and brought their faces close together. “You told them. That was incredibly brave.”

“It was a disaster. I am a disaster.” Keith hugged him and Lance rested his chin on Keith’s shoulder. “Sorry I got angry at you there for a moment.”

“I should have warned you about my conversation with Luis.”

“Luis shouldn’t have been an asshole in the first place.”

They turned around. Rachel was standing in the doorway. According to her eyes she had cried as well.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” she apologized. “I didn’t know where to...never mind.”

“Wait,” Lance said and stopped her from leaving. “Is Mom okay?”

Rachel shrugged and held her arms in a protective way in front of her body.

“No?” she said and absentmindedly scratched her elbow. “She cried a lot and was dramatic as fuck.”

Lance stared at her for a beat, then:

“Dramatic crying? My gosh, maybe she’s gay.”

Keith burst out into laughter and did his mighty best to press a hand against his mouth to calm down because he felt like it was super inappropriate to laugh. Then again it was such a Lance thing to do and to say in this situation. To take the last amount of energy he was able to summon and transform it into a joke to take the tension out of them all. Lance’s eyes lit up when he saw Keith cracking up at his joke; there was even a small smile on his face.

Rachel walked up to them and put a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“That would be pretty sad because I really wanted more siblings.”

They laughed again. It wasn’t from the bottom of their bellies because the painful situation was still too close but it was a relief nevertheless.

The relief lasted approximately five seconds.

A loud noise made their heads turn around. The sound of something cracking and breaking echoed through the lobby, followed by multiple bumping sounds in short intervals. The blood in their veins freeze and they ran into the lobby from where they had suspected the origin of the awful sounds.

“Hello?” Rachel shouted and looked around. “Hola?”

Another sound was heard, like something solid falling down on a concrete floor and breaking into several pieces. Rachel ran to the cellar, Keith and Lance followed.

“What is going on?” Mary asked as she entered the lobby but they ignored her. The door to the cellar was wide open. The weak light illuminated the floor down below. Several boards of the old staircase were gone; some hanging loosely from the staircase - or from what remained - and some had fallen down, lyring broken on the ground. The handrail was gone as well, probably lying on the floor where they couldn’t see it.

“Oh God,” Lance breathed and Keith saw why. He couldn’t see the whole body from where they were standing but these were unmistakably Miguel’s legs, motionless on the ground.

“Miguel?” Mary exclaimed behind them. “MIGUEL!!??”

He didn’t answer. There were Luis’ and Lisa’s voices in the lobby as well.

“Call the ambulance!” Rachel shouted at someone. “Pa fell down the stairs.” Carefully she put her foot on the first board that hadn’t broken off yet. Lance held her back.

“You will break your neck.”

“Don’t!” she said and shrugged him off. Keith shot a glance behind them. Mary was crying into Lisa’s shoulder, Luis was making sweeping hand gestures while talking on the reception’s phone, looking very distressed. Lance was on the edge of absolute panic.

Rachel took another step on the second board. There was nothing to hold on to except the wall on one side. The next three boards were gone. She looked down. They all thought the same: it was still too high to jump down without at least breaking one's ankles – or worse.

“Maybe I can jump over the hole."

Keith could tell the exact second it went wrong. She lost grip on the board before she had even finished the sentence and tumbled forward, her foot slipping into the wide hole in the staircase where once had been several boards. Keith didn’t even think about it: he followed her on the half-broken steps, accompanied by Lance’s shouts of panic, and tried to pull her back.

It was too late.

She couldn’t pull up her foot anymore, graviting pulling her down and made her body follow. Keith was right behind her but all he was able to grasp was her lower arm.

It wasn’t enough. She dragged him down with her and there was a thud when their bodies hit the cracked boards lying on the floor. Everything hurt and Keith was sure he had broken something. He couldn't move one leg. Somehow he managed to roll on his side to check for Rachel.

Lance screamed from up above but Keith couldn’t make out his exact words. At first he thought Rachel’s fall hadn’t been that bad. She was lying close to him on her back and there didn’t seem to be any blood around her. Then he looked closer.

Rachel’s eyes were open.

But she didn’t blink.

And before his mind could understand what just had happened he felt something rushing through him, taking control, and--

 

**Everything went white.**

 

“Maybe I can jump over--”

It was too late to change anything. He knew the second he was back, it was already too late. Too late to drag her back or to stop her from falling. So he did the only thing he could think of:

Keith went right after her and hold onto her, gave them some momentum to turn them around and bring them over the sharp boards covering the ground. Anything to avoid landing with her face or neck on sharp wood. He heard Lance’s scream when they hit the floor.

“I’m alright,” Keith yelped as soon as he was able to breathe again and rubbed the side of his body. Lance shouted some rude words of both love and hate down to him that Keith didn’t have the strength to appreciate them enough. For a moment he brought his attention to his body. No broken bones, he guessed. There would be bruises though. Maybe he was bleeding somewhere.

Rachel’s upper body and head lay on his chest. She was breathing heavily but alas, she was breathing.

He hadn’t managed to turn back time further than these few seconds. Maybe because he was rusty and the internal fear of using his power had made him weaker than he had expected.

But it had been enough.

Rachel sat up, moaning in pain. Some boards on the ground had cut through her arm after all and she was bleeding.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked.

“I think so.”

Quickly she crawled to Miguel.

“Pa?” She held his head in her hands to check on him. “He’s unconscious but breathing.”

Then she went to a shelf, her face twisted with pain, and got an old blanket to put it under Miguel’s head and another to cover his body.

Meanwhile, Veronica and Romelle had also appeared, he heard their upset voices. The whole family was talking in panic and Rachel gave them short answers about Miguel’s, Keith's and her own health status. Then Lance shushed everyone away until only him and Veronica were still standing at the door, looking down into the dimly lit cellar, unable to get down. There was nothing to do for anybody except to wait for the ambulance and the fire department to help them to get out. The door and the staircase had been the only entry to the windowless cellar.

Keith felt rather useless. He was still sitting where he had landed, trying to gather his thoughts. He had touched Rachel when he had turned back time which meant, technically, she had witnessed it. Touching someone while turning back time made the other person remember everything that had happened before, including the weird fact that time had been reversed. But her eyes, Keith thought. She hadn’t blinked. Had she been dead? If so, she wouldn't be able to remember anything. Keith closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. It didn’t matter. He had reversed it. All he had to do now was to reach out to his power and turn back time again. Longer this time.

He tried.

And tried.

And tried.

It didn’t work.

He felt nothing.

Suddenly Miguel moaned, having regained consciousness. He was mumbling something, apparently in Spanish.

“What?” Rachel asked and leaned down. “I don’t understand. What about Carlos? Dad, you’re gonna be fine, the ambulance--”

From where Keith sat he didn’t see any blood on or around Miguel but that didn’t have to mean anything. Every strangled moan was a sign that he was still alive, that was the important thing. Rachel leaned closer to him, her ear pressed to his mouth to understand every word, one hand resting on his arm.

“Okay, don’t worry.”

She inhaled sharply, her eyes staring at Keith for a moment, then at Lance up in the door frame. Despite being visibly dizzy from the fall she stood up, grabbed Keith’s arm and pulled him a two feet towards her.

“Ouch,” he whined when he felt his muscles stretch and pain shot through his body, “that hurts--”

Another noise.

A loose and heavy board crashed down right where he had sat one second ago. Keith gasped.

It would easily have split his head in half.

It would have killed him, without any doubt.

Keith stared at Rachel. Rachel stared at him.

Miguel coughed and they looked at him.

He smiled.

He smiled _at Keith_.

Rachel helped Keith up on his feet and walked up to stand beneath the door, slightly aside so she was able to look up at Lance and Veronica.

“Vero, he’s doing fine, I promise. Please go outside and check for the ambulance, would you?”

“I’d rather--”

“Veronica. Please.”

Sometimes Keith forgot that Rachel was older than Veronica despite looking so young.

“Alright,” Veronica said without arguing but with a last look at her father before she left. The three of them were alone now with Miguel.

“Keith, come here and help me. Lance?” She looked up. “You’re gonna jump and we’ll catch you.”

“What?!” Lance asked with irritation. “Why--”

“Trust me.”

Keith nodded at him. He didn’t know why but he felt that Rachel...knew. And he trusted her.

“Okay,” Lance said. Then he carefully took two steps on the remaining board and lowered himself down into the whole in the staircase. Both Keith and Rachel caught him but toppled over under Lance’s weight. Keith landed on a piece of wood that tried to drill into his back but he tried to ignore the pain.

“Ouch,” Lance hissed next to him as he pushed himself up.

“Let me see,” Keith said and softly touched his face. He looked unharmed except from little injury in his face. “You’re bleeding on your chin. Nothing too bad.”

Miguel coughed violently and both Rachel and Lance hurried to kneel down beside him.

“Dad,” Lance said and started crying. “You’re gonna be fine, listen?” He ran his hands soothingly over his father’s arms and pulled up the blanket to his chin as if he was just lying in bed instead of the floor in a dark cellar.

“What now, Pa?” Rachel asked. “You told me to get Lance. He’s here now, look.”

Miguel nodded dizzily.

“I shouldn’t have...”

“Shouldn’t have what?” Lance asked. Miguel turned around his face to look at Keith.

“I’m sorry I...told Zarkon about you. I’m sorry. He shouldn’t...shouldn’t...have raised you.”

Keith stared at him in disbelief.

“He didn’t raise me!?” he said in confusion.

“I’m sorry, Keith. He is a bad man.”

“What are you talking about, Pa?” Rachel asked, her hand softly touching his head.

"I should have known."

Keith looked helplessly at Lance.

“Dad, this never happened. Keith was with a foster family. He’s never lived with--” Lance stopped and stared back at Keith and in that second they both remembered a conversation they had almost three months ago. This was something they had to talk about later.

Lance checked his father’s eyes. “Keith,” he said anxiously, “look.”

“Oh.”

Miguel’s blue eyes moved from side to the other, unable to look at anything longer than a brief moment. He was blinking rapidly.

Lance and Keith looked at each other.

“Does that mean…?”

“I think it does.”

“Does he have a stroke?” Rachel asked with panic.

Rachel. Rachel pulling him away from the staircase. And Miguel having something that looked exactly like the side effect of having reversed time. Keith's mind was racing. Lance was about to come up with an explanation for the weird conversation they just had when Keith interrupted him.

“Can you turn back time, Rachel?” he asked bluntly.

“What?” Lance glanced nervously between the two of them.

“Yeah, I guess. Just like you two can,” she said without the tiniest bit of hesitation. “Or could. Past tense. I know you can’t do it anymore, Lance.”

They stared at her.

“Is this a family thing I don't know about?” Lance asked.

“You literally just asked me that from up there one minute ago when we had this conversation. I have no idea what I am talking about, honestly. All I know is that Keith got killed by the wooden board and suddenly I felt weird and everything went--”

“You got yourself killed?” Lance hissed and punched Keith's arm. “I told you to stop dying!”

“So that’s why you pulled me away,” Keith said slowly to Rachel but kneaded his arm with a stern look at Lance. Rachel shook her head.

“Not at first. It took me like five tries. The first time it happened I was too confused. Then Lance...you said something about wishing to have back your powers. And we talked. And you told me to try it again. And I did. But you couldn’t remember. So I explained it to you, again and again, until I managed to save Keith. And Dad knows too.”

“You touched him,” Lance said. “That’s why he remembers.”

Miguel coughed again, this time harder and longer. Lance hushed softly, stroke his head and smiled. It was fake but he was trying.

“You’re gonna be okay, Dad.” Except for the coughing he seemed to be stable.

“How long can you turn back time?” Keith asked.

“I don’t know, a minute? Maybe longer?” Rachel guessed. “Why?”

Keith looked at Lance.

“I can’t do it anymore,” he said, “you know that.”

“Okay, listen, Lance. I was about to tell you but--”

“For how long?” Lance didn’t look surprised. Not even angry or disappointed, just impatient. “For how long can you turn it back?”

“Not sure. It’s not that strong anymore. Rachel fell down the stairs and all I got were a few seconds.”

“I fell down?”

“Ohh, now your stupid stunt makes sense,” Lance exclaimed and pointed with his finger angrily at Keith's face. “You could have died. What if--”

“I saved your sister, Lance.”

Lance bit his lip.

“Guys! Guys!”

Rachel’s eyes were fixed on Miguel’s head. His eyes were closed but the rapid eye movement had slowed done. Lance pulled away one hand from his father’s head. There was blood on it and he seemed to be unconscious again.

“Shit.”

“Where’s the ambulance?” Rachel called upstairs but there was no one to answer.

“He won’t die,” Lance said.

“Yeah, he’s gonna be fine,” Keith agreed.

“Guys, we can turn back time,” she said loudly, stating the obvious.

Keith nodded slowly. “If we combine our powers--”

“No, Keith, no,” Lance interrupted him. “You know what happened last time we entangled powers?”

“What happened last time?” Rachel asked but they ignored her.

“We fixed it in the end!”

“You almost died!”

“But I didn’t!”

“Okay, hang on,” Rachel interrupted them. “We can undo this? All of this? This is possible, am I right?”

“Yes, technically,” Keith said. “But not practically because none of us seems to be strong enough.”

“What if I die?” Lance asked suddenly.

Keith gave him a strong smack against the back of his head.

“Say that again and I will kill you,” Keith pressed out.

“But look at this, Keith, the more emotional one is, the more power one has. We know this. So if I die--”

Keith grabbed his arm forcefully and Lance whimpered.

“No! Final answer!”

“But Keith--”

“SHUT UP, both of you!”

Rachel exhaled and closed her eyes to think.

“I’m very emotional if that's any help and I already turned back time quite a lot in the last few minutes.”

“You don’t have any experience.”

“Oh, but you’re a, what, time travel expert?”

Keith shook his head. She was right.

“So you’re gonna try it?”

“Yes. I feel strong enough, I even feel this weird power inside me right now. But you’re right, I’m no expert. I need a safety net.”

“What do you mean?” Lance asked.

“You are the safety net,” Rachel said to Keith. “We do it in a row.”

“What?”

“I turn back time as long as I can. Then you do it, Keith, as soon as I’m done. We stretch it back as long as we’re able to.”

“Oh my God, this might actually work as long as you don't do it at the same time. Just like at the Olympics with the torch thingy, ” Lance whispered and wiped away some blood from his chin, his fingers nervously poking against the little wound.

“Don’t do that,” Keith said and pushed away his hand. “Okay, listen, Rachel, there might be side effects,” he started to explain, “feeling dizzy, sometimes you don’t know what’s real anymore or--”

“I’ve already done it and I don’t care!” she said. “Let’s just do this.”

“Don’t touch Dad but take Keith's hand. The person you touch will remember it."

“How far back?” Keith asked.

They looked at Lance.

“As far as you can. I’m not having my coming out tonight. This is why we are in this mess in the first place.” He glanced at his father.

“Lance,” Rachel said softly. “That’s not--”

“You go back and cut this night short, promise me. Just...get Dad away. We don’t know why he went down here and now he's blacked out again.”

“But how do we do this? We don’t know where and when we’ll end up.”

“I don’t know, just...tell them their house is on fire. Make them leave.”

“Very funny, Lance.”

“Seriously, Rachel. Just, don’t make me come out. Don’t let this even start. You two are gonna be tired. And you will have to remember this all, that’s bad enough. And Keith, you will have to tell me about everything.”

“What do you mean?” Keith asked and offered him his hand. “Just take our hands and you will remember everything.”

Lance gave him a weak smile.

“No.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to remember how I feel right now. Or back then at the table. Just tell me. Um. Nicely.”

“But you won’t remember you consented to this,” Keith said with a flash of panic shooting through his body, remebering the nightmare of a fight they once had about this topic.

Lance titled his head and smiled.

“I trust you with everything, Kogane.”

Keith squeezed briefly his hand.

“Alright, Mr. Future Kogane.”

There was a strangled noise and they turned back to Miguel, scared his condition might have got worse. But no, he was _chuckling_. His eyes were closed but there was a smile on his lips.

“Tell me about this,” Lance whispered softly and Keith nodded. Then Lance leaned down to his father and kissed him on his forehead. "You're gonna be alright again."

“Okay, Keith," Rachel said, "as soon as we're back you take Lance aside and brief him about this...situation. I’m gonna tell Veronica and Romelle that he changed your mind.”

Lance shook his head.

“No, let Keith tell them. It’s more believable. You’re already the one who has to avert this situation, Rachel, so whatever you do, it will be suspicious as fuck and Veronica will come after you, probably being mad as hell.”

“He’s right,” Keith agreed. “Let me handle her.”

“Okay,” Rachel agreed, nervously rubbing her hands together. "How do I get you to come with me, Lance?"

“Corner me in the kitchen and talk to me. Tell me it’s important. But don't tell me about this. I will need to hear it from Keith. Just, say other stuff.”

“We don’t really talk that much, Lance, I wouldn’t even know what to say or talk about.”

“I wish we would though,” Lance admitted. “Talk more, I mean. And I’m not saying this because you can turn back time as well but because I miss you. Don’t look at me like that, I’m only saying this now because I will forget about it. Let’s hang out more. Ask me stuff. Tell me something about you. Like, how is your life like and...I mean you said you have a different view on what you want and all. What are your hobbies even? Or just--”

“Lance,” Keith interrupted him, “you’re rambling and we don’t really have much time. Time is _literally_ the problem right now.”

“Sorry.”

“Ehm, sure,” Rachel said choked up. She was touched by Lance’s sudden outburst of interest in her and had some trouble to hide it. Lance smiled at her.

“Wait.”

They turned around to Miguel. His hand had slipped from under the table, reaching out to them.

“I won’t...change...anything,” he said with a hoarse voice. His fingers touched Rachel's leg.

“You want to remember this?” Rachel asked and frowned.

Miguel nodded.

“Please.”

“Dad, why did you go down here?" Lance asked quickly. "Just don’t go here and we’re fine.”

Miguel shook his head.

“No. Your plan. Do that. Try. It wasn’t a good evening. Not good for you. I won’t go down here. Promised.”

Keith, Lance and Rachel looked at each other. No one protested so Keith took Rachel's hand and both of them made sure to touch Miguel as well.

“Okay then.“ Lance leaned forward to whisper into Keith’s ear. “Make me forget. And don’t be scared to tell me about this, I won’t be mad that you didn’t tell me earlier. And please kiss the crap out of me when we see each other again.”

“Will do.”

Keith smiled weakly and Lance pressed a quick kiss on his lips.

“Let’s go,” Rachel said.

The first thing Keith noticed was his shaky voice and that everyone on the table was staring at him. Had he blacked out? He couldn’t remember getting here. There was cake on his plate in front of him. They were having dinner. There was Christmas music playing in the background. Why was he feeling weird?

“I’m sorry, I made him up,” he was saying without any control, as if it was a thing he had to say. “I was just--” Keith stopped.

What had happened? He felt sick and took a deep breath. It felt like a déjà-vu, everything strangely familiar.

“So are you fucking my brother now or not?” Luis asked.

A part inside Keith wanted to feel angry about Luis, but another well-known sensation was rushing through his body. The power to reverse-time, waiting like a wild animal to attack. Oh no, Keith thought. He had sworn to never do this again. He wondered if he should shout something back at Luis but it felt wrong, no, _he_ , Keith, _he_ felt wrong and out of place. Out of place _and time_. His eyes flickered to Miguel who had raised his hand up in the air.

Time seemed to stop for Keith.

Miguel, why was Miguel here? No, of course he was here. Where else should he be? Keith’s gaze was glued to Miguel’s hand in the air. He had a feeling he was able to guess what was to happen. No. Not a feeling. He _knew_. He knew what was about to happen.

Hand, table, salt shaker.

And then it happened.

Like everyone else at the table, he was startled when Miguel slammed his hand hard on the table. But it also felt like a signal, something to make him wake up and do something. He looked at the salt shaker that had rolled over. White crystals spilled on the tablecloth, everything was white…

…white.

The memory came back.

The coming out.

The cellar.

The accident.

Rachel had turned back time. And now he had to do the rest. He was the safety net. The coming out had already started. They needed to go back even further. Quickly he let go of Lance’s hand and got up to stand behind Miguel.

“What are you doing?” Lance asked with a shaky voice.

“Rachel, come here.” She walked up to him and they held hands again, both touching Miguel’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna explain later, Lance.”

 

**And everything went white.**

 

This time Keith knew right away what had happened. Dinner had already started.

“I’m gonna show you later,” Lance promised and squeezed Keith’s hand. Their holding hands were hidden between them. It felt familiar. The atmosphere at the table was good, happy even. They had just talked about the Halloween story and now everyone was just reminiscing about the past in Arcadia Bay.

“Do you--” Keith started to whisper because his mind remembered what he had asked Lance at that moment. He stopped mid-sentence. He had promised Lance to stop his coming out.

“Hm?”

Lance looked back at Keith and Keith stared at Lance’s chin. It wasn’t bloody anymore. Never had been bloody, not really. Because it had never happened. But it also did happen. Hopefully, there wouldn’t be any consequences like in Arcadia Bay. They had tried to be careful after all.

“Keith?”

Shit. Keith gazed up at him and bit his lip.

“Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I was...I'm a bit tired, is all.”

“Bad tired?”

Oh, did he suspect anything? Keith’s eyes flickered back at Lance’s chin and Lance touched it with his fingers, scrubbing it.

“I’ll tell you later,” Keith said slowly. He let go of Lance's hand and used his free fingers to softly push away Lance's other hand that was busy fumbling at his chin. "Don't do that."

“Okeh.”

Keith tried to get a feeling for the new situation, shooting glances at Rachel. He hoped she’d remember and didn’t need a signal like him. Something to snap her out from the time reversal stupor. Weird thing. The talk was light and he tried to be as normal as ever, making an effort to smile but he was nervous that something was going wrong. He couldn't quite tell yet.

“I’m gonna serve dessert now,” Mary said and got up, Luis followed her into the kitchen.

Shit, that had been Lance’s cue. Something had to happen fast now.

He looked at Rachel again. Okay, something had changed. She was staring at Romelle, whispering something at her, fumbling under the table. What was she doing? Was that part of her plan? Keith didn’t know if he would be able to kick this in a different direction all by himself. He needed Rachel to get this started.

His mother and Luis came back with cake and other sweets.

“Here you go,” Mary said and everyone took some food and started digging in. Everyone except Lance. Keith looked at Rachel again, his brows frowned due to the question on his mind. _Do you have a plan?_ Rachel stared back. Keith didn’t know what to see in her eyes. He hoped it was an answer.

“Um, hello everyone,” Lance suddenly said and looked up.

“Hello mijo,” his mother replied in irritation. Everyone looked at him, even Rachel. What the fuck? She better start doing something. Lance was visibly nervous and cleared his throat, shuffled on his seat and, oh dear, tried not to laugh. Keith hadn’t noticed that before.

“Um, that was a nice dinner, mom. Your cooking was amazing, as usual.”

“Thank you, Luis and Lisa helped,” she said with a kind smile to both of them.

“Um, cool.”

Keith got nervous. This wasn’t happening as planned, not at all. Nothing had changed, not really. He shot another quick glance at Rachel. It seemed as if she was waiting for something while staring at the table. Romelle however _did_ something hidden under the table. Keith stared in the air, trying to plead with the universe and himself. God, with what other plan could he possibly come up? He could say he was sick and ran out. Maybe that would postpone--

“Um, and it’s nice that we’re all together here, tonight, at Christmas Eve,” Lance said. “So actually I have something to tell you all and--”

He stopped.

There was a telephone ringing, the hotel’s landline at the reception.

“Who calls at this time?” Mary asked and looked at the clock. “It’s Christmas Eve, 10 pm.”

“Might be important,” Rachel said and got up. Keith stared at her in relief.

“No, Rachel, don’t--”

“It's fine, I get it.”

As soon as Rachel had come back, Keith knew they had succeeded. At least for now. She had made up a police call and Miguel stood up and left without saying another word. Luis and Mary followed which was even better. As exhilarating it had felt that the plan had worked out, he was miserable now. Lance was feeling like shit and the atmosphere in the room was in a new low. No one talked until they heard the door slam shut.

“Hey Lance,” Rachel said.

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen?”

“I’m not in the mood to--”

“Lance, please. It’s important.”

He sighed.

“Alright, coming,” he said and got up.

Great, so they had averted one crisis and stumbled into the next one. He hated to see Lance down like this. Their eyes met briefly when Lance turned around and Keith had to resist the urge to follow him. When Rachel and Keith had vanished into the kitchen, Keith turned to Lisa.

“Lisa, do you know where the key for the cellar is?”

“Yeah, it’s on a bowl on the reception desk. Why?”

“I think I forgot something down there,” he said and got up. “Um, I think we can call it a night, right?”

Lisa nodded. “Let’s go to bed,” she said to her children. She carried Nadia out of the room and Sylvio followed after he had kissed Romelle, Veronica and Keith on their cheeks. Keith was grateful that the boy and the little girl didn’t have to witness the, um, original version of the evening. He appreciated though that Lisa had somehow stood up to Luis for him.

“Okay,” Romelle asked when Lisa had left, “what is going on?”

“Just a second, don’t go, just wait here,” Keith said and jogged to the reception. He found the key easily. He picked up a piece of paper and wrote down “Do Not Enter – Stairs Broken” and underlined it several times. It wasn’t much but he pinned it at the cellar door, made sure it was locked and kept the key inside his pocket. When Keith went back into the breakfast room, a tense atmosphere was greeting him. Veronica and Romelle were already in a heated conversation and as soon as they were aware of Keith’s presence he became their new target.

“Okay, Keith, what is going on?” Veronica asked and he could hear the protective big sister vibes in her voice.

“What do you mean?” Keith said to buy himself some time.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Keith,” Veronica spit. “You are in on this, aren’t you? Romelle said Rachel made her call the reception and then Rachel comes back with a weird story that is totally made up.”

Keith sat down, his mind racing to come up with a proper explanation.

“Oh, that, right. Rachel probably didn't have a phone at hand...Uhm, we stopped Lance’s coming out.” Better to twist the truth than to come up with a big lie he wouldn’t be able to control.

“You mean on purpose?”

“Yes. And before you ask, yes, Lance wanted it like that. It was his wish.”

Romelle wrinkled her brows. “He sure looked like he was about to start though.”

“And he changed his mind,” Keith retorted stubbornly. “I was sitting right beside him and he told me."

Veronica crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair.

“I still call bullshit.”

“Even if it’s that what he wanted,” Romelle said, “isn’t it a bit much to send out half the family with a fake police call? He could’ve changed the topic. Vero, we should just ask him. Let’s go.”

“No, don’t.” Keith pressed his hands against his forehead. “Listen. He can explain it to you tomorrow but right now I need you to give him some space.”

“Why? I’m his sister, he knows I’d be fine with his decision,” Veronica said. “So even if he doesn’t want to come out tonight, he knows I will support him.”

“Yes, of course, and you can tell him all about it tomorrow. But right now...please. Just roll with it. Pretend the call was real. I don’t...want him to feel like a failure.”

“Why would he feel like that?”

“Because you’ve already been through this all,” he sighed, “you and me both. You did it so... _effortlessly_ and he is the one who needs another shot. And he doesn't want you to know. He looks up to you, Vero.”

“Oh.” Veronica got quiet and thought about his words. “Is that why Rachel was in on it and not us?”

He hesitated for a moment. “Yes. He doesn't...want you to see him like that.”

Veronica still seemed to be unsure if she believed or not him but then she nodded.

“Alright,” she said slowly, “but I’m gonna talk to him tomorrow. To be honest I’m a bit disappointed that he didn’t tell me. I mean, we talked a lot about his coming out but I didn't know he had something like a, hm, safety net.”

Keith was startled by her choice of words.

“He didn’t think it would have been necessary. Don’t blame him, please.”

“Of course not.”

Maybe it was working after all. Now he just needed to turn the situation around.

“Um. Can you do me a favor and call your parents? Tell them the police called again and tell them they made a mistake? So that they come back?”

Veronica exhaled and shook her head in disapproval but Romelle pushed wordlessly her cell phone towards her and Vero took it.

“For the record, I’m only doing this for Lance. I still think this was a horrible plan. And then I’m gonna check on him. No, don’t worry, I promise I won’t tell him we know.”

“Thank you.”

A phone call and short visit to the kitchen later they said good night to each other. Veronica was still upset but having seen Lance in the kitchen seemed to have changed something. She didn't look at Keith as if he was the devil anymore. 

Keith walked up the stairs and sat down on the bed in his room, letting the evening sink in.

Who would have thought it? Their rashly made-up plan had been a success, kind of. They had saved Miguel. Although he wouldn’t have died, Keith was sure about it. Maybe he would have had some broken bones along with a heavy concussion. Okay, still bad though. And obviously the most awful dinner hadn't happened. No one had stormed out, no one had said bad things. Lance hadn’t been a crying mess. Rachel hadn't died. Oh, and Keith hadn’t died multiple times. That was a plus. 

Lance entered the room only a few minutes after Keith. He looked happy and glowed and Keith thought he was dreaming. With everything that just had happened, even in this changed reality, Keith hadn’t expected to see him smile again so soon. Whatever Rachel had said to him, he was eternally grateful.

Lance’s words swirled through his head.

_“And kiss the crap out of me when you see me again.”_

A promise is a promise, Keith thought and walked up to him.

“Hey, sorry I--”

Keith pulled him closer, touching him on his neck and lower back. Then he brought their lips together and kissed him fiercely. For a few minutes, he allowed himself to forget about everything bad that had happened this evening. Feeling Lance’s lips on his sent sparks through his body and all he could think about was how much he loved him. For a brief moment he opened his eyes and when he saw Lance right in front of him, he was feeling like thirteen again, feeling butterflies in his stomach for the first time. He closed his eyes again intensified the kiss.

„Gosh, Keith,“ Lance breathed against Keith‘s lips but Keith didn’t let him talk. He lips found Lance's again as if he hadn’t heard him, his mouth wandering down to his neck and planting tender kisses on the bronze skin.

„You‘re not in a talking mood, are you?“ Lance asked. „I‘m sorry but I am. I just talked to-- gnnghh -- never...mind...“ Keith softly bit in his earlobe and Lance was a goner. He was aware that he was nudging Lance towards the bed and as much as he would have liked to string out this blissful moment, he knew their talk had absolute priority.

Enough with the kissing.

Keith pulled back and looked at Lance who immediately started talking again.

“I have to do something before you make me forget.”

Keith leaned back a bit more, leaving Lance kissing thin air and making him frown.

Did he remember, Keith wondered.

 _"Make me forget."_   Those had been the last words before he and Rachel had turned back time.

“What-- what did you just say?” Keith asked anxiously.

Lance grimaced.

“Your kissing makes me forget about stuff and I need to do something.” He kissed him again and then took something out of his suitcase. “Got it.” He turned to Keith. “I’ll be back in a tick. Then we can continue this.” He winked at him and left the room in a hurry.

Keith didn’t know what this was about but left him be. Maybe something connected to Rachel. He sat down on the bed again, rapidly coming down from his momentary high of oblivion and bliss from kissing Lance. He looked at the clock. 10.20 pm. This was about to be a long night. He tried to come up with an idea about how to approach the conversation. He wished Lance would haven given him more advice. Oh, he would be mad at him for getting himself killed again. Somehow this thought made him smile.

A few minutes later Lance got back and Keith didn’t dare to look at him. He’d been so happy, despite his failed coming out, and now it was Keith’s job to rob him from this happiness – even if that had been his wish.

„Keith?“ Lance said cautiously and Keith looked up.

„Lance,” he said sternly, “we need to talk.“

„I can see that.“

He sat down next to Keith on the bed. Keith swallowed and forced himself to be quick about it. The other Lance had told him to make it quick and that he wouldn’t be mad at him. Keith took a breath. He trusted Lance, no matter in which reality.

„Okay so...something happened,” he said.

Lance looked astonished, probably because he was used to Keith needing time to talk about severe things.

„Something bad?“

„Something bad.“

Keith didn’t know how to go on. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Lance about the awful coming-out, that his father had fallen down the stairs, how he had saved Rachel and how Rachel had saved him from dying. But he had to, oh God, he had to tell him.

„Just say it, man,“ Lance whispered. „I won‘t be mad.“

 _And don’t be scared to tell me about this, I won’t be mad that you didn’t tell me earlier._ These had been Lance's words.

„I turned back time," Keith said without any further hesitation.

They looked at each other.

Keith was scared and felt guilty even though he hadn’t done anything without Lance’s consent but of course Lance didn’t know about that, at least not yet. Lance looked worried for a moment, then he sighed.

„Yeah.” He averted his eyes from him. „I figured.“

„You figured?“

„I was 90% sure. Doesn't matter," Lance said instead. Oh, Keith thought, that explained why Lance hadn’t made a big deal about him having his power down in the cellar. "What happened? You said something bad happened? Did someone die or what?“

„Yeah,“ Keith said quietly and Lance held his breath. „Someone died.“

“Who?”

“Me.”

“You got yourself killed?” Lance hissed and punched Keith's arm. “I told you to stop dying!”

Keith smiled weakly.

“You already told me that and punched me.”

“I better did!” Lance grinned and hugged him tightly. “I’m glad you’re alive. Although I’m a bit mad at you now, gotta be honest with you.”

It was weird seeing Lance happy. He’d been shattered, a wreck, a mess. But now Keith was telling him about the night and Lance commented on every event in his usual Lance-way. He was taken aback, shocked, especially when it came to Luis being an asshole, his father's accident, Keith's and Rachel’s death and Rachel turning back time, but Keith could tell that it wasn’t that heavy on his heart.

And he was was glad about it: Lance had made a good call by wishing to forget everything. It had been his choice after all.

“Okay, quick summary,” Lance mumbled in Keith’s neck. They were lying in bed next to each other and Keith had just finished telling him every detail about the events of the other reality. It was late and they were both tired.

“Go ahead,” Keith yawned.

“My coming out sucked, Luis is protective of me but also an asshole, Mom wants grandchildren. Rachel can turn back time and maybe Dad as well.”

“Yep.”

“And he thought Zarkon had raised you?”

Keith nodded.

“You remember when I told you about the other reality I woke up in once? Just for a couple of minutes?”

“Where sixteen-year-old you and me were making out?”

“Well, we didn’t go that far,” Lance said and blushed a bit. “But yeah.”

Keith brought his face closer to Lance.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he whispered, “and if that means what we think it means then this is either huge or fucked up. Or both.”

“Yeah.”

There was a mutual understanding that they wouldn’t talk about it tonight. According to the clock on the desk it was already 2 am. The time reversal had made Keith extra tired and the only reason he was still awake was to keep looking at Lance being genuinely happy.

“Dad knows about us,” Lance said and kissed Keith’s nose.

“Yes.”

“And he really laughed when you called me Mr. Future Kogane?” he asked with a smirk.

“It was more a chuckle with him being hurt and all but yes. As I said, you explicitly told me to tell you about this. It was nice to see, actually.”

Keith softly touched Lance’s cheek when he saw a shadow in his eyes.

“You wish you were able to remember this moment, don’t you? And when he hugged you?”

Lance shrugged and leaned into the touch.

“Yeah. These moments at least. But I trust myself.” He frowned. “Well, I have to. If I said I didn’t want to remember anything, like, the feelings, then it had to be the right choice.”

“It really was, Lance. To be honest, I didn’t understand it at first but after remembering everything that had happened tonight...” He leaned forward to kiss him. “I get it. How do you feel?”

“Good, actually. I feel relieved. Ready to kick Luis' ass,” Lance said but he looked anxious nevertheless. "I'm still scared though. But I can’t wait to talk to Rachel. And Dad.” He wrapped his arms around Keith and pulled him close to his chest. “This is gonna be weird, I guess. But he knows, Keith. Dad knows.”

“Yes, he does, Lance.” It was endearing how excited Lance was about his father being in the known of their relationship.

They stared at each other for a long time, saying nothing, just smiling at each other.

“Keithy?” Lance asked, his eyelids heavy.

“Hm?”

"I've something important to tell you."

"Okay?"

There was a brief silence before Lance grinned.

“Merry Christmas."

Keith rolled his eyes but chuckled.

"Merry Christmas, Lancey Lance."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know that vine with the grinch doing yoga? that was me when i finished my own beta reading of this chapter. (i only live on vine compilations, klance comics on instagram and coffee lately...)
> 
> my next fanfic project will require a beta reader or i will cry break out into tears at some point, that's for sure. (i have so many ideas y'all, oh god.)  
> hope you enjoyed the chapter and cringed during dinner as much as i did, i don't wanna be alone in this. this story isn't over yet, as you can tell, and i hope you're still with me ;)
> 
> and hey, no cliffhanger for once!


	10. He's Sure The Boy I Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone talks to Luis...  
> PS. Merry Christmas! There will be fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *stares nervously at calendar*  
> so... ha... it's been a while. i accidentally wrote 8 others fics and i'm still busy with two long ones... but what's better than slowly wrapping up a story about lance's coming out to his family than in june, pride month, huh? :D
> 
> god, i missed varadero, my boys and rachel
> 
> no content notes... stay strong.

###  **He's Sure The Boy I Love**

**25th December, Christmas Day.**

Was this an earthquake?

Keith’s eyes sprung wide open, his whole body was on high alert and he sat up straight in bed, his hands pressed into the mattress next to his hips to stabilize his upper body. Lance pulled his hands away and stopped shaking Keith’s shoulders.

“You gotta hide in the bathroom!”

When Keith didn’t make any move to follow his order in his confused state after this very physical morning-call, Lance crawled out of bed, pulling Keith with him.

“Just one more minute, mom,” Lance shouted through the closed door, “let me put on a shirt.” Slowly Keith understood the situation at hand. Mary was in front of the door of Lance’s room. Oh dear. Frantically, Lance grabbed a shirt from last night off the ground and was about to put it on when Keith smacked against his hand and make him drop it.

“That’s mine,” he hissed under his breath.

“Oh!” Lance swallowed, thankfully nevertheless as he reached for his own shirt. Keith walked into the little bathroom and closed the door behind him. The only light came from the gap between the floor and the door. Although his pulse was up to the roof thanks to Lance violently shaking him out of his sleep he was still tired (and confused). With closed eyes he leaned against the cold door, his arms embracing his upper body.

He could hear Lance’s and Mary’s voice on the other side.

“Hola Mamá.”

Apparently, she was entering the room because a second later the door slammed shut. He didn’t know why Mary was here or why Lance let her in but for once he didn’t feel particularly anxious. Well, on Lance’s behalf he did, but not for himself. He and Lance were both up to date with every event that happened since their arrival in Varadero. No unnecessary secrets stood between them any longer and if gravity hadn’t been that strong this early morning, Keith would’ve been flying.

Lance knew about his superpower and wasn’t mad at him. Lance knew how his family had reacted to his coming out and wasn’t gonna leave him.

Sure, it wasn't over yet. Two people were left to talk about him and Lance but after everything that happened yesterday, it almost felt like a small task. _Almost._ Luis didn’t know yet, neither did Mary and those two people meant much to Lance, no matter how… problematic they appeared to be when it came to other sexual orientations. Mary was already convinced Lance was having a secret girlfriend but when said fictional girlfriend had got replaced by a real boyfriend Keith the night before, she hadn’t been able to wrap her mind around it. Time got reversed and now they had a second chance to-- get it right? Was that even possible?

“Everyone’s already downstairs. The children have been asking for you. They wanted to show you their presents.”

“Right, the children.” Lance’s voice was tense and bitter. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

There was a brief silence and Keith thought Mary was on her way outside but then she spoke up again.

“Is Keith feeling comfortable with us?”

“Mom. Why do you keep asking me this? Of course, he likes it here.”

“Well, he’s… I’m sure he’s used to… you know, better accommodations by now.”

Lance chuckled. “You mean because he’s rich? Come on. It’s Keith. He’s my-- um, he’s Keith.”

“He’s all our Keith, then,“ she said so softly that Keith's cheeks tingled. It was nice to hear that at least Mary wasn’t on a warpath with him. Not yet, at least.

“You really don’t have to worry about him.”

“But I am. We two haven't had a chance to talk about it yet but…” She sighed. “I was already wary that your father gave you the pictur--

Lance interrupted her with loud coughs, immediately forcing Keith to perk up. Pictures? She can't be meaning the two photos Miguel gave him… so there were _more_ pictures?

“Are you okay, honey?”

“Yeah, just… forgot how to swallow for a second.”

“What was I saying? Right,” Mary continued. “And then Miguel talked to him about Krolia and Zarkon. If I knew he’d do that, I would have insisted on being there as well. But you know your father… stubborn impulsive man. I can only imagine how much it had to be for Keith, he’s so young still… and with all that he’s been through. The last few months alone.”

“Don’t worry, I make sure he’s okay.”

“I’m glad he’s got you.”

“And I got him.”

“You missed him, hm?” Her words were quiet and sounded like she chose them deliberately. Keith didn't know what to make of that observation. “I know you don’t want to talk to me about what happened between you, why you lost contact and that's... that's fine, Lance. But I’m glad you got back together.”

“I’m never gonna let him go again, mom.”

Something hot rushed through Keith’s body, from his stomach to his head, down to his stomach again and back up until he could hear the blood thumping in his ears. For a moment, he thought his soul had left his body. A silence followed Lance’s quiet words and Keith froze to a statue behind the closed bathroom door.

“Is there anything on your mind, niño?”

No answer.

“I see.” She pauses but Keith knew what she was about to say, echoing the same words she’d said to him a day earlier. “We barely talk anymore, Lance.”

Lance groaned softly but tried to hide the exasperation in it.

“I don’t even know what’s going on in your life anymore. You talk about college, that’s right, but what about… what about you? You always talked about your friends but now… since Keith is back you’re different.”

At the mention of his name, Keith changed into an even more tensed version of himself leaning his ear against the bathroom door to not miss a word. The Bad Influence Keith, he could already read the headline. Then again, there hadn’t been a hint of accusation in her tone of voice.

Lance’s long silence worried him. He wasn’t about to say it now, was he? With Keith hiding in the bathroom? That would be the worst, honestly. Keith wanted to be by his side and not a powerless eavesdropper to his boyfriend’s coming out.

“Mamá, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. Which might-- explain things.”

Keith pressed his forehead against the cold door. This couldn’t be happening. Now? After all they’ve been through he decided to come out now? His lips curled up into a smile. He couldn’t even be mad, this was too classic Lance. Preparing himself for something in the most thorough way but then, in the end, it was a spontaneous decision.

“Oh. Now you’re scaring me.”

“No, it’s actually… it’s a good thing. Um. Are you free sometime this afternoon?”

What, Keith wondered and furrowed his brows. Did he just ask his mother for an appointment?

“Are you asking me for an appointment?” Mary asked.

Lance laughed nervously. “Yes, I guess I did.”

“I have all the time in the world for you, you know that.”

“Thanks, mom. So this afternoon. I come and find you and we-- talk.”

“Okay.” Keith could basically hear the release of air Lance’s lungs had been holding. Christmas Day, afternoon, Lance’s coming out. He hoped he was invited as well. “You sure it’s nothing bad?”

“No,” Lance chuckled nervously, “actually, it’s the best thing that happened to me and makes me very happy.”

“That sounds wonderful, Lance,” Mary said, her voice already sounding much happier. “I can’t wait for you to tell me about it. Now get dressed, the children are waiting. I'll be with Miguel at our house for lunch. Our neighbor celebrates his birthday. We couldn't say no, you know how it is with him.”

“Okay, that's-- wait. What are you doing?” Lance suddenly shouted and Keith froze as the doorknob got turned.

“Getting your used towels, Lance.”

“Let me, mom, let me just-- It’s a mess in there.”

The door opened and Keith quickly took some steps backward to make some space for Lance.

“I’m a mess?” Keith mouthed, trying to look as wounded as possible.

“I’m just quickly getting the towels,” Lance shouted back to his mom but kept his eyes firmly on Keith. “Huh, where are the towels, I wonder."

Keith rolled his eyes before he collected them dutifully and pushed them into the hands of a grinning Lance.

“You are the worst.”

“Oh, you love me,” Lance whispered back and took another step forward to kiss Keith briefly. Keith’s eyes went wide in surprise but he couldn’t help himself but smile into the kiss. Yes, he loved him, no lies detected here.

After Mary was gone and Keith out of the bathroom, Lance flopped down on the bed again and worried his lip.

“I’m gonna come out to my mom today.”

“I heard.” Keith sat down next to him. “I’m gonna be there if you want me to.”

“Oh, definitely. But, actually… I was about to ask you something else first but I’m not sure if I can… ask you that.”

Keith tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure if I can… expect you to do this for me. I think it’s too much.”

“Well, you never find out if you don’t ask.”

“You don’t have to do it, though, okay? It’s just a question. I can do it myself but I was just-- wondering...really, if you--”

“Lance.” Keith took his boyfriend’s face in his hands. “Just ask me.”

 

~~

 

The lights of the Christmas Tree were on but barely visible in the bright breakfast room. Some wrapped gifts had been put underneath it although most of them had been opened already. Sylvio and Nadia were busy playing with some toys under the happy eyes of their parents who sat on the table drinking coffee. Everyone appeared to be in a good mood when Lance and Keith entered the room. No traces of last night’s happenings - and unhappenings - were left: The time reversal had done a proper job. Through the glass door, Keith spotted Romelle and Veronica swimming rounds in the pool. Lance still had to talk to them to make them understand that his stopped coming out had been his wish, even the fake phone call.

“Merry Christmas,” Lance cheered loudly and squatted down with his arms wide open. Two seconds later, he disappeared in a fierce hug from his nephew and niece.

Keith nodded a Good Morning at Luis and Lisa. Lisa smiled at him. Right, he had learned that she knew about them from Sylvio. Demanding from an eight-year-old to not talk about his uncle being in love with his best friend had been something he didn’t agree with when Lance had asked it from him it but well, at least Lisa seemed to be a tolerant soul. Luis on the other hand…

“Keef!”

A second later, it was Keith who got hugged by both Nadia and Sylvio.

“Merry Christmas to you,” he chuckled. He had never been particularly good with kids but those two – especially Sylvio – made it very easy. After Keith had wrangled himself out of the firm hug, Lisa and Lance smiled at him brightly and, to his surprise, even Luis couldn’t hide a smile, although it was barely visible and definitely not directed at Keith but at his children. True, Luis couldn't stand him; a fact that was hard to forget.

“Hey everyone, good morning. Merry Christmas!” Rachel called into the room with a glass of orange juice in her hand. Keith swallowed. That was his cue. “Before we do the gift exchange… “ She turned around to her brother. “Luis, can I talk to you for a second? About the cellar?”

Keith had promised Lance to do it and Rachel was about to help him. No going back.

“Yeah, I saw the sign and papá already told me the stairs are damaged this morning,” Luis answered. “I took a look at it and, wow, it’s a miracle no one got hurt yet. I fixed some boards and repaired the handrail as best as I could but it’s only a makeshift solution. No one should go down there. He sent me down anyway to get one of his boxes.”

“Huh.”

Keith, Lance, and Rachel exchanged a look with each other. Was that what Miguel had wanted to get last night? A box? Right after Lance’s mess of a coming out? More unanswered questions that still had to wait for an answer.

“Anyway,” Rachel said and waved her hand as she couldn't be bothered, “can we just-- talk? Insurance stuff, you know. In the office.”

“I’m not sure I can be much of a help, but alright.”

Rachel gave Lance a subtle nod before she and Luis walked towards the office behind the reception. Keith turned around to Lance.

“You sure?” he asked quietly. It was hard to keep the worry out of his voice. “I can’t promise it will be… perfect but I can promise you that we do our best to--”

“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” Lance interrupted him and took a deep breath. “I-- I thought I could do this alone but now I can’t even _think_ about talking to my brother without...freaking out. Last night I thought I could fight the world but now… I feel like a...  failure again. I’m so sorry to burden you with this, you don’t have to do this, okay?”

Last night, he had been on Lance’s side when he fought his own battle of coming out – there wasn’t a better word to describe it than that – a battle. He’d tried to provide some safety next to him, holding his hand through it all. But now, Lance didn’t have much power left to fight so he had asked Keith to help him.

“Lance. Listen to me. You’re not a failure. There’s no shame in asking for help. That’s why we’re all here. To help you. A few days ago you said Veronica and me, we would do everything so effortlessly. But did you know that Romelle talked to your mother about their wedding?”

“No?”

“Romelle asked Mary to inform Miguel about their wedding plans, that Veronica was about to ask him to lead her down the aisle and all. You know why? Because Veronica was too scared to ask him directly.”

“Oh.”

Keith gently touched him on his arms, determination sparkling in his eyes. “I’m gonna let you fight all the fights on your own if you ask me to step aside but if you need me, I’m right there to fight next to you or for you. Just like we did before.”

Lance’s lips parted as he stared at Keith with wide eyes.

“Keith?” he croaked.

“Yeah?”

“Do I really have to wait two years before I can marry you?”

The words hit him with a force that took his breath away.

He buried his face in his hands and turned away, painfully aware that Lisa at the table might not hear them but was indeed able to see the furious blush on Keith’s face if she looked up from her magazine.

“Lance, you can’t just--”

“Say things like that?” Lance finished and grinned as he gently removed Keith's fingers to look him into his eyes. The tips of his ears were dipped in red but he didn’t seem to mind. “As you can see, I can.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Keith didn’t even know what marriage meant, they both didn’t, not really, but, by gosh, he swore he was gonna marry that boy one day, no matter what, and they would make it work.

“Well, um. Rachel-- is waiting,” Keith stammered. “I’m gonna-- do the thing. And no turning back, just as we said.”

“Okay.”

Keith contemplated hugging him or taking his hand again but Lance decided for them. He moved forward and Keith couldn’t do anything else, didn’t _want_ to do anything else but to lean into the brief kiss Lance initiated.

After they parted, Lance squeezed his hand - a silent thank you. Keith turned around and followed Luis and Rachel. He glanced at Lisa on his way out… who was smiling with her eyes fixed on the pages of her magazine.

 

~~

 

“What-- okay, what is _he_ doing here?” Luis asked, leaning against the desk in the office.

Keith took a deep breath and closed the door behind him. The atmosphere was tense and it didn’t help that Luis glared at him as if he was the antichrist himself.

“I need to talk to you, Luis,” Keith began and took some steps forward until he had a distance to Luis he was both comfortable with but said he meant business. “About our, um, heated conversation yesterday, to be exact.”

Luis’ eyes flickered to Rachel.

“I’m just here to represent Lance in this matter,” she explained smoothly.

“What?” Luis hissed and shook his head in confusion. “Like a lawyer? What is this about?”

“Okay, listen, Luis,” Keith said and directed his attention back to him. He tried his best to remain calm but his hands were sweaty from anxiety. He had promised Lance to deal with Luis and he wouldn’t back down, no matter how hard this was about to get. “We had a misunderstanding. Remember our first dinner? You asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said yes. You asked me if that boyfriend was okay with me being here. I said yes.”

Luis crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing Keith warily.

“I remember.”

“Those weren’t lies but… and that’s the problem, really,” Keith explained and ran his hands through his hair, “it wasn’t enough of the truth.”

“Meaning?”

“You thought I was hitting on Lance even though I had a boyfriend.”

“Kinda obvious,” Luis huffed with a sideglance to Rachel, hoping to get some support from her, but she remained silent. Instead, she gave Keith a supportive nod to carry on.

“The thing is… “ Keith began just to pause again. This was a coming out, a different one and not his own and maybe that was the reason why it felt so much more meaningful, something he absolutely _cannot_ screw up because it was about Lance, the person he loved most. “The thing is, Luis,” he said slowly, “Lance is my boyfriend.”

Luis uncrossed his arms and crossed them again a second later. His glaring look in his eyes changed to hesitation and confusion.

“Wait,” he said and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Lance is gay?”

“Bisexual,” Rachel interjected quickly, “he’s bisexual.”

“God, I hate all those words, I swear, half of them sound made-up. Is that the thing where you can’t decide?”

“No, it’s when you are able to be attracted to men, women and other genders, just like you, Luis, are generally attracted to women but of all women chose Lisa as your partner. Got it?”

“Right,” Luis said slowly and turned back to Keith. His eyes scanned the young man from head to toe as if he was seeing him for the first time. “So, you and my brother. And why are you telling me all this and not Lance?”

“Because he’s scared of you.”

Luis loud laughter filled the small room. Keith briefly closed his eyes. This wasn’t going as well as he had hoped. Shit.

“Scared, sure,” Luis said and laughed some more. Only when neither Rachel nor Keith joined in, he frowned. “You’re not being serious right now, are you? Lance? Scared of me?” There was some serious concern in his voice Keith hadn’t been expecting to this extent.

“You’re… not exactly very open-minded, Luis,” Rachel said quietly. “Remember Veronica’s coming out?”

“But that’s been years ago.”

“She still remembers. I still remember. Lance does.”

Luis scoffed. “Lance wasn’t even there.”

“You know how close he and Veronica are. He might not know the details but he knows our general reaction that day.”

“Of course we were pissed!” he said loudly with grand gestures. “She made a big deal out of it and asked for our support but at the same time she accused us of being homophobic!”

“Luis, um, we kinda were. We didn’t stop asking her if she was sure, if it wasn’t just a phase, accused her of being confused and all. She had a hard time because of us.”

“Yeah… but that was… years ago,” he repeated.

“And the passing time made you more tolerant?”

“Jesus Christ, Rachel, it’s Lance we’re talking about!”

“And that makes a difference why? Because he’s special or--”

“OF COURSE HE IS!”

His voice boomed through the room and both Keith and Rachel instinctively took a step back. Luis held both hands up in a surrendering gesture and collected himself again. “I still don’t understand why Lance isn’t the one talking to me right now when it’s about him.” His voice was calmer again but his agitation was shining through. One wrong word and he’d get loud again, without any doubt. “What you're doing is fucking stupid.”

“Well, it was my mistake that you… thought I had another boyfriend and I wanted to clear that up.”

“I DON’T CARE! I’m gonna talk to him, NOW!”

“No!” Keith said and blocked the door when Luis pushed himself away from the desk. “Not like this, no! You have to calm down first!”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do! I’m gonna talk to him, I don’t see why I shouldn’t!”

“I SAID BECAUSE HE’S FUCKING SCARED OF YOU, LUIS!”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Luis’ shocked expression almost shattered Keith. Very slowly, his eyes looked back and forth between Keith and Rachel, searching for a joke he hadn’t understood yet or another explanation that would clear things up. When nothing came, he took some steps back and leaned against the desk again.

Keith felt some tears in his own eyes - 90% from exhaustion and 10% from Luis’ expression - but he didn’t want to cry. Luis didn’t deserve his empathy, not after everything he had yelled. He took another deep breath. It wasn’t over yet.

“Lance, um, didn’t quite know how you would react to his coming out…” Keith explained with a more gentle voice even though he’d rather yell some more. “I mean, with our misunderstanding about my fake, well, or not-fake boyfriend. Back then I-- I didn’t want to lie because, as I'm sure you would say, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But, you see, for Lance it was a big deal and he needed more time.”

Luis stared at Keith for a moment, considering his answer.

“It’s not just Lance telling you that he’s bisexual, he’s also… telling you that he’s… dating me.”

“Your comment about your boyfriend really made it hard for me to like you, you know? Not the gay thing, I… don’t mind, not really. That’s your business. But the more I watched you being around Lance, the more… “

“They tried to be subtle about their relationship,” Rachel said.

“Well, I thought you were--” Luis paused and shoot him a glance. “I don’t know, using him?”

“I would never use him.”

Luis hummed. “He’s scared, you said. Are you sure? That sounds… fake. Lance wouldn’t be scared to talk to me, I mean, it’s me! He knows I-- I love him. He’s my little brother, for fuck’s sake. He’s my favorite. No offense,” he added to Rachel.

“No offense taken, he’s everyone’s favorite,” Rachel said.

“Oh God, please don’t tell him that or his ego will grow even bigger,” Keith stated blankly, losing his cool for a moment.

The straight face Rachel had managed to keep up lasted for approximately two seconds before she couldn't hold it back anymore and guffawed loudly. Her hands pressing against her mouth didn't do much to muffle her giggles. Luis' and Keith's eyes met, both displaying a shared irritation about Rachel's reaction, and suddenly, Luis was chuckling as well.

"I keep that in mind," he said to Keith and for the first time in a while, there was something warm in his voice. A peace offering? Keith didn’t know how to move on from this point. Rachel had calmed down and now they were surrounded by silence once again. This time it was Luis who spoke up first.

“So… you and Lance,” he said slowly and almost eerily quiet. “For how long?”

“About three months.”

“It’s serious then? You’re, like, a proper couple, then?”

“Keith is here to meet the family so yeah, it’s serious, Luis.”

"Who else knows?"

Rachel walked up to him and leaned against the desk next to him.

“You and mom are the only one who don't know yet. He will talk to mom later.”

“Right. I’m gonna go see him now,” Luis said and was on his way to the door before Keith stopped him again, only this time Luis let himself be stopped without making a fuss.

“What are you gonna tell him?”

“That he’s stupid for being scared of me and that I’m mad at him for not telling me,” Luis said but he ended the sentence with the note of a question mark.

“You really think that’s what he wants to hear right now?”

“Of course, he needs to know that I-- I don’t care about that-- stuff.”

“Luis,” Rachel said carefully and put a soothing hand on his back. For a second, Keith’s anger flared up. How did she dare to be nice to him when all he’d done was to yell at them the day before? But maybe that was a family thing. To talk to another even though it hurt, to compromise, to take a step towards someone who didn’t necessarily deserve it but… maybe, in the end, it would have been worth it. He knew that was what Lance wanted. For everything to be okay. “Luis. Lance wants you to care.”

“But you said--”

“What if I told you I wouldn’t care who you love? That I didn’t care about Lisa or Nadia or Sylvio. How does that feel?”

Tears sparkled in Luis’ eyes and Keith wished he was able to ignore them but he couldn’t.

“Well, if you put it that way… “

“You need to care,” Rachel repeated urgently. “Lance needs you to care.”

“I don’t want him to be afraid of me,” Luis repeated. His voice sounded broken and Keith was shocked to see how much it affected him to be portrayed as a scary person to his little brother. “I’m just-- I know I can be a lot sometimes when it comes to, the gay things, but I don’t mean to-- I don’t want Lance to be afraid of me. Or Veronica, for that matter.”

They were quiet but it was a different kind of silence. Not the calm before the storm but the calm after it - when the dust began to settle and people began to look for the damage it had caused. A time to start the repairs.

“I knew you were gay.” Keith pressed his lips together and let him talk. “That first dinner, when I ask you about girls. I already knew. I read it in an article. I don’t know why I pushed you.”

“You were upset about me owning Zarkon’s foundation,” Keith said and crossed his arms.

“Guess I was.” He looked Keith into his eyes. "If I apologized, would you accept it?”

 

~~

 

When they entered the breakfast room, Lance sat in an armchair with Slyvio in his lap and a book in his hand. Rachel and Keith kept their distance as they watched Luis walking up to his brother, although Keith made sure to listen to their conversation and keep an eye on them.

“Can I talk to you?”

Lance’s eyes darted up to his brother and Keith winced when he noticed that Lance hugged Slyvio even tighter.

“Yes,” he said.

“Alone?”

“I’m good right here.” As to emphasize his decision, he ruffled Sylvio’s hair who giggled at this sudden touch and looked at the two adults with much curiosity.

“I, um… heard you are in a… relationship,” Luis said. His voice was shaky but soft. He was buff and the tallest of the McClains and he must’ve noticed Lance’s tension because a moment later he pulled up a nearby chair and sat down next to him.

“I am.”

“He’s gonna marry Keith,” Sylvio interrupted them with a grin and held up two fingers. “In two years, Daddy.”

Luis' and Lance’s eyes meet in a short moment of horror and Lance almost chocked, immediately waving his hands to play it down. “Oh, nooo, no, no, that’s just-- a joke, kind of, really--”

“Two years, huh?” Luis asked his son who responded with an excited nod. “Do you think they’re gonna invite us to their wedding?”

Sylvio stared at his uncle. “Tío?”

“Of course you’re invited,” Lance said softly and kissed him on his head.

“What about me?”

“Do you… want to come?”

“Well, someone has to give you away in case the old man is too busy looking at his old picture books.”

Something in Keith’s heart ripped violently apart and in Lance’s probably too because his hand rushed up to press against his mouth. With wide eyes, he stared at his brother. Lisa motioned Sylvio to come up to her and he obliged, probably noticing that this was a conversation for the adults, and slipped down from Lance’s lap to join his mother at the table.

“Lance,” Luis began, the next words stuck in his throat. “I don’t even know what to say.” He scratched his head. “I was 19 when you’re born, just as old as you are now. We went through everything together and... hearing you were worried about telling me that you… oh man… this is hard.” Lance had removed the hand from his mouth but kept staring at him patiently until Luis got his thoughts in order. “This doesn’t feel right, Lance,” he said and looked his brother in the eyes, almost pleadingly. “You should never be afraid of me, okay? Never in a million years.”

Tears filled Lance’s eyes and he quickly averted his gaze to look down. Keith had to fight against the urge to run to his boyfriend and comfort him. That was not the time.

“Well, you were a dick to Keith, for starters,” Lance stated quietly but determined. “And everyone who’s a dick to Keith is a dick to me.”

“I know, I...oh man, I was an asshole, alright? I apologized to him.”

“Did he accept it?”

“Not until I talked to you.” Luis scooted a bit closer and gently put a hand on Lance’s thigh. “Please don’t be afraid of me, Lance. This is really getting to me. Like, a lot.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay. Listen. Keith is a, he’s a good guy and he cares about you a lot. Well, he definitely knows how to fight for you and put me in uncomfortable situations. I probably deserved that, didn’t I?

Lance looked up and found a soft smile on Luis’ face.

“Yeah,” Lance challenged him with raised eyebrows, “kind of.”

“I’m sorry, Lance. I’m so sorry.”

He worried his lip. “So you’re okay with me being… bisexual and-- um, dating Keith?”

“I don’t-- no. I mean, yes. That’s-- great. A bit weird though.”

“Why?”

“Keith is wildly out of your league.”

“Fuck off, Luis!”

The tense atmosphere vaporized the second Lance punched Luis against his shoulder and they both began to laugh. It was a bit awkward, for sure, but it was a start. Luis pulled him up into a hug and Lance basically threw himself around his neck.

It was a long hug.

Keith tried to understand it. How could they be like that right now, after everything that had happened? Was everything forgotten, everything apologized for? Then again, Lance had insisted on forgetting the dinner’s original timeline the day before. He didn’t remember how he had felt when Luis had yelled at them all. Maybe that was the reason?

Rachel nudged Keith with a wink that said ‘well-done’.

“That’s it then?” he asked her with a sideglance.

Rachel squinted her eyes. “What else did you expect to happen?”

“I don’t know… I mean, that’s it?”

“You mean if they’re okay? For now, sure. Forever? I can’t tell. We sure can’t expect Luis to go on a Pride Parade with Lance tomorrow but I guess it’s safe to say that Luis will make an effort. For Lance. And if Lance happens to be the reason for Luis to see all the colors of the world, so be it.”

“You think he'd do that? For Lance?”

“Do you really think it's possible to love Lance less than we do?”

Keith smiled. 

 

~~

 

Breakfast had never tasted that delicious and the atmosphere around the table couldn’t have been more different to yesterday. It was only Keith, Lance, Rachel, Lisa and Luis having coffee and food with a shallow small-talk about funny or questionable articles in Lisa’s magazine but it was the first time Keith felt truly welcomed and accepted. And when Lance took his hand and locked their fingers on top of the table as if it was the most natural thing to do, he guessed Lance might feel the same.

“So are you gonna look for your present or not?” Keith asked Lance with a grin on his face.

“Wha-- what?”

“Under the tree. Presents. Got your name on it.”

The expression on Lance’s face was priceless and Keith was glad he had managed to keep quiet about the gift Lance was about to receive.

“You have a present for me?”

“D’uh, it’s Christmaaaas,” Sylvio facepalmed himself with his little hands and so much exasperation that everyone on the table had to fight the giggles. “Eeeveryone gets a present.”

“Yeah, but… “

“What?” Keith asked.

“I didn’t think we would exchange gifts, to be honest.”

“Oh.” A pang of disappointment made his heart ache but then Lance’s face changed into a mischievous grin.

“I’m just kidding, Keith. I have a present for you, too.”

“Oh man, that wasn’t even funny!” He lowered his voice so the other's wouldn't hear him. “Do you mind… if we go upstairs? I put some sweets for you under the tree but the real one is in my room.”

Lance wiggled his eyebrows and leaned away to gave him a better look. “Kogane, what did you get me?”

“The sweets are under the tree, the real present is upstairs.”

“What are we waiting for?”

 

~~

 

“Shiro tried to call me,” Keith sighed when he checked his cell phone on the desk in his room. “Do you mind if we say a quick Merry Christmas?”

“But I wanna see my present!” Lance pouted.

“A bit more anticipation won’t do you any harm,” Keith teased him and dialed Shiro’s number to start a video call.

“Hey, guys!” Shiro and Adam greeted them from their apartment in Arcadia Bay. They sat on their couch, a small Christmas Tree in the background and they wore ugly Christmas sweater. Keith missed them instantly.

“Merry Christmas!”

“How’s Cuba?” Shiro asked.

“Oh, it’s… exciting,” Keith said.

“And how’s the… family?” Adam asked with a concerned look to Lance.

“Everyone’s doing fine. Um. It went alright, ha, so far. A bit of a mess but, you know,” Lance grinned at Keith, “wouldn’t be us if it wasn’t a bit messy.”

Shiro laughed loudly. “I suppose so.”

Keith and Lance, they were entangled with each other, weren’t they? In so many ways. No one could bring them apart. Keith glanced at Lance, laughing about something Adam had said. How could Keith ever be afraid that something or someone had the power to bring them apart again after they had fought so hard to stay together? Ridiculous.

“Keith? You still there?”

“You’re staring at me,” Lance chuckled and playfully pushed against Keith’s cheek to make him look into the camera again.

“Sorry, um, I zoned out for a moment,” he admitted bashfully.

“Okay,” Shiro began and clasped his hands together, “we were about to, um, give you your present when you’re back but due to some, um...”

“-- unforeseeable circumstances--”

“Thank you, Adam.”

“My pleasure, Takashi.”

“Ehh, your present was _delivered_ a week too early,” Shiro explained. “And we wanted to give you a sneak peek.”

“Okay… “ Keith shrugged noncommittally, “what is it?”

“Adam has the honor.”

For a moment, Adam disappeared from the camera view and some weird noises filled the background.

Lance cried out a sound of happiness and shook Keith’s shoulders before Keith was even able to take in the changed image in front of him.

“THEY GOT YOU A PUPPY, KEITH!”

And what a puppy it was. With big yellow eyes, it searched between Adam and the camera screen, excited to be the center of attention. For a puppy, it was rather large and resembled more a wolf than a dog. Its fur was black and white, though the white fluff and the part around its eyes almost had a shade of blue.

“You…. got me a dog?” Keith asked in disbelief. At the sound of Keith’s voice, the puppy stared at the screen and for a moment Keith swore, the dog looked straight into his soul. It tilted its head, his tongue lolled out and it struck its nose curiously against the screen.

Okay, that was it, he was gonna protect that dog with his life until the day he died.

“Aww, he likes you!” Lance cooed and threw his arm around Keith’s shoulder. Shiro looked very amused and had to hold the cell phone higher because the little dog seemed to be mesmerized by Keith, constantly trying to reach out its little paws to him, and Adam had a hard time to keep it still.

“You need someone to protect the huge property of your foundation and, yeah, I had a feeling that you two will get along just fine.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Keith said. Three, well, four pairs of eyes waited in anticipation for his final verdict of this surprise present. “He’s-- I like him. Thank you! I can’t wait to meet him.”

The dog let out a loud howl and stared right back into Keith’s eyes as if he was waiting for something.

“Good… boy?”

Keith’s words made the puppy so excited, it wiggled itself off Adam’s lap. Lance matched the dog’s excitement like a pro and soon it was a back and forth of a high-pitched “good boy, who’s a good boy, you’re a good boy” from Lance and howling, barking and whining from the small dog jumping between Adam’s legs. A normal conversation wasn’t possible anymore and both Shiro and Keith put an end to the call - much to Adam’s and Lance’s displease who seemed to have the time of their lives.

“Oh man, now my present looks kinda lame,” Lance sighed after the call had ended.

“I doubt it. But first I give you yours.”

“Is it a puppy?”

“Well. Not really.” Keith ran his hand through Lance’s hair and gently tucked on it before he got up from the bed. “But… I still hope you’re gonna like it.”

Hidden in his dresser, he got out a wrapped gift. It had the shape of a cube fitting in Keith’s hand with a blue ribbon on it.

“It wasn’t that easy to get it but I owed you it since it actually belongs to you.”

Lance wrinkled his brows. “It belongs to me already?”

“Kind of,” Keith shrugged and sat down next to him again. “Now open it!”

Lance never had much patience with presents so it didn’t surprise Keith to see his boyfriend hastily removing the wrapping paper and throwing it through the room until he had uncovered the little blue box.

“Am I allowed to open it?”

“Go ahead.”

This time, Lance’s fingers moved slowly. He glanced at Keith who nervously bit his underlip. Finding the present on some obscure untrustworthy eBay-like page had been one thing, but the meaning of it was another thing. With all the nagging thoughts and doubts about Lance’s coming out and the fear his boyfriend might leave him if things went south, he’d spent much time contemplating if this was the right gift for him. Well. For _them_. Before he got lost in his doubts again, the lid of the box was gone and Lance took out the item.

“Oh my God--”

In his hands, he was holding a tiny blue toy lion. It looked exactly like the one he had given Keith the night he moved to Cuba, only slightly less used. With wide eyes, Lance inspected the lion, turning it over, feeling it in his hand.

“I can’t believe you got your hands on another one,” he said quietly, followed by a chuckle when he looked up at Keith, his eyes sparkling with happiness. “Or did you dive into the ocean to get it back?”

“I found one online.” They had promised to keep the other's toy lion until they met again - and Lance had kept his promise and had returned Keith's red lion the moment they had met again in Arcadia Bay. But as a result of their fight and in a burst of anger years ago, Keith had thrown Lance’s blue lion into the Pacific Ocean and had regretted it ever since.  “You like it?”

“I love it,” Lance said and pressed a kiss on Keith’s cheek. “It’s very sweet. Thank you.”

 _Well, then,_ Keith thought and swallowed. “Lance.”

“Yeah?”

He was so excited about it, excited and scared, he almost couldn’t bear it any longer. He prayed he got the timing right and Lance wouldn’t-- He shuddered and took a deep breath.

“The lion… It’s not everything.”

“It’s not?”

"No.” Keith gave the blue toy a pointed look. “I’m not gonna wait 6 years again...”

“What do you-- Oh.”

Lance turned the lion around and put a finger against its belly.

“Another note?” Lance whispered.

Keith shook his head. It was hard not to grin as much as he wanted to so he gave up and just let his emotions have a field day on his face.

“What is it???” Lance almost shouted at Keith’s expression.

“Open it!!!”

“I am scared!!” Lance laughed and hid his face behind one hand, glancing through the gap of his fingers at the toy lion in his other hand. “You make me all anxious, babe.”

“Just… open it.”

“Okay. I’m gonna take a deep breath – ahhh – concentration,” he held the lion in both of his hands and straightened himself, “and I’m gonna open the belly of the beast.”

Keith’s whole focus was directed on Lance’s face as his boyfriend opened the secret compartment. He had wanted to do that for a while now, officially, but he never had the guts to ask him.

“Keith. Is this--” Slowly, Lance removed the hidden item: A single silver key.

“Yeah,” Keith breathed, not being able to look anywhere else but Lance. “It is.”

“You mean, I get… access… to your puppy… whenever I want to come over?”

A bubble of laughter escaped Keith’s mouth but he tried to stay calm. And shook his head.

“No, that’s not what it means.”

Lance tilted his head and Keith couldn’t stand the displayed confusion any longer. He took Lance’s hands in his.

“It doesn’t mean you can come over whenever you want to.”

“It doesn’t?”

Keith shook his head again and leaned closer.

“Lance. I’m asking you to move in with me.”

“WHAT?” Keith didn’t know how he was still able to breathe. His heart beat fast, wild butterflies filled his stomach and he prayed Lance would say something, yes or no, or was it too rushed or-- Breathe. “Do you want to move in with me?” he repeated quickly.

“Yes,” Lance whispered. A second later, his stupor was gone and he threw himself forward to hug Keith. “Oh my God, yes, yes, yes, I want to move in with you. Oh God.”

“Are you crying?”

“Of course. Keith...” Lance sobbed and pressed the key against his chest, “you just-- you just granted me puppy access 24/7. I’m gonna spoil him so much, you can’t even imagine, he's gonna sleep in our bed.”

Keith’s face went blank.

“Give me back the key!”

“NEVER!!!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _puppppyyyyy_
> 
>  
> 
> as you can see, i finally decided on a number of chapters for the story and it's 13 (for now). there's still something to tell and some people to talk to... also: i'm not one for loose ends :)
> 
> hit me up on [twitter](https://twitter.com/worstmission) or [tumblr](https://worstmissionever.tumblr.com/), on discord or leave me a comment, i'm always happy about that \o/ (or say hi to me at dokomi this saturday, lol, but what are the chances...)


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